


Warped Tour 2015

by Miss_Nightmare



Category: Blessthefall, Pierce the Veil
Genre: Belliott, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-05 11:10:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4177596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Nightmare/pseuds/Miss_Nightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beau and Elliott fool around during long tours - and never really talk about it. This time, though, Elliott is wondering if it means more than he initially thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exodus {Prologue}

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is not going to be proofread as much as usual because I'm short on time with it and I'm trying to write it all before my warped date. I apologize in advance for any grammar / spelling mistakes that it has and I will correct them later and spend more time on this after my date. And also - I might even go back and change what happens in certain chapters because I'm still in the process of figuring out exactly how I want it to be. I just wanted to post it as I went for anyone that is interested in the pairing / my writing. It's going to be a lot of smut (almost pure smut) but it's got more to it than just that. It's smut with a plot. XD

Elliott hands Jared the last of his bags to throw onto the bus before climbing in slowly. 

"You certainly didn't lighten your load at all," he jokes with him, referring to the amount of luggage he brought along. "I thought we agreed that everyone would carry less this year."

"I did bring less," he replies, "I didn't carry my DS."

"That's because you brought your 3DS. You didn't have that one last time," Matt points out, earning himself a well earned glare from Elliott.

"Aw, leave poor Elliott alone," Eric says as he throws together a sandwich in the tiny kitchen section of their tour bus. "He can carry anything he wants because he's better than the rest of us."

Elliott doesn't appreciate being sassed by Eric either, so he ends up shooting him a glare too.

"Eric, you need to shut your mouth. I know for a fact that you snuck a couple bags in while you thought no one was looking and shoved them in your bunk," Beau points out from the couch where he is comfortably lounging - wearing only jeans and a GHSF beanie. Elliott actually hadn't noticed him there yet, but when he does his dick twitches and, oh God, he already wants to fuck.

In fact, that might be his favorite part of touring. Every tour since the All Stars Tour back in 2011 the two of them had always fooled around whenever they were alone during the long ones. They never really talked about it, it was just something that happened. It had started completely innocent - just as a couple touches backstage before a show, kisses on the lips when no one was looking, thigh squeezes when they sat next to each other on the couch. But somewhere in between 2012 and 2013 it got more intense. Elliott still vividly remembers the first time they made out - it was behind one of the shittiest venues in California right after their set, and Beau had practically shoved him outside so that they could be alone. He had pushed Elliott up against the brick wall so forcefully that it had given him a nasty bruise, but every time he felt the sting from it he smiled remembering what had happened between them.

Then they started making out after every show. Whether it was in a back room in the venue or in the restrooms they always found a way and a place. They hadn't even said a word to each other about it - it just sort of, happened.

And then there was Warped Tour 2013 - the second one that they had the pleasure of touring on. It's when things between them really started heating up. On the second date of the tour, Beau had walked into the bus when Elliott was in the middle of getting off in his bunk and things just kind of went from there.

Elliott always told himself that nothing was going to happen before going on tours because he didn't want to set his expectations too high; he never knew when Beau was going to stop it all together and the thought alone scared the shit out of him.

But nothing could stop him from staring at Beau's half naked body imagining himself riding his cock right now could it?

"Elliott? Earth to Elliott?" Jared says, trying to get his attention.

"What?" he responds angrily, upset that he ruined his daydream, and upset that he wasn't alone with Beau right now. It just wasn't fair that they all had to cram into one bus. Couldn't the rest of them walk to California? Jared works out all the time for God's sake. Eric might be a little winded, but Elliott's sure he could make it. And Matt - Matt could do anything.

"I asked if you wanted to play Mario Kart."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess," he replies, softening a bit at the mention of the game. If there's one thing that could take his mind off of sex (especially sex with Beau) it's video games. More specifically, Mario Kart with the rest of his band. They were all so competitive and at relatively the same skill level it was unreal how intense the game could be.

"I'm in too!" Beau shouts, jumping off the couch and rushing to turn on the Wii. "And I call being Bowser this time because he's the fucking king just like me."

"Yeah, whatever you say," Jared says, sitting down on the couch and taking a controller off the table.

They end up playing for five solid hours, Eric and Matt obviously joining in soon after they started. Beau was the one that suggested they stop and head to bed, and it's met with plenty of name calling but he ignores it all and unplugs the Wii itself and hides it.

This alone causes a riot within the bus but it dies down within ten minutes once the rest of them lay in their bunks and realize that yeah, they're tired.

Elliott is wide awake when Beau tugs him out of his bunk and leads him to the little back room in the bus and shuts the door. He doesn't bother to turn on the lights, either, and Elliott doesn't mind at all - he knows why he was pulled back there.

"They're probably not asleep yet."

"I don't give two shits if they are or not," Beau replies, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him on top of his lap. He starts with kisses on the neck, soft, gentle ones, but they quickly turn into something more needy and rough. Even a bit messy - but neither of them care. It's been three full months since they had done anything together and it was enough to almost drive them both completely mad. And even on the last tour they were on, they had toured with the Architects and they were great friends of theirs which was awesome, but it totally meant that they were in their bus 24/7 and basically gave the two of them no fucking privacy whatsoever. They had even had to resort to going into the Architects' tour bus once to make out (which was totally wrong of them but it was totally hot in Elliott's opinion).

Beau is busy giving Elliott a huge fucking hickey when the door wiggles open and a tiny sliver of light makes its way into the room. They both freeze and don't make a sound, and Eric walks in without turning on the light. He yawns, grabs something off the floor right by the door, and walks right back out - even shutting the door behind himself.

It's quiet for about a minute afterwards and then Beau starts laughing (not loudly, but still, he's laughing) and Elliott joins in.

"That was so fucking close, holy fuck," Beau comments, kissing the now sensitive spot on Elliott's neck, which Elliott totally just realized was going to be really fucking visible tomorrow and probably for the next couple of days.

"Beau! Be careful about leaving marks for Christ's sake! I can't wear scarfs on this tour, I'll die of heat exhaustion."

"Oh shit, sorry," he says, moving his lips to the other side of Elliott's neck instead.

"Don't mark that side too, Beau, I know what you're thinking," he says, even though he only halfway means it. He kind of would like to be marked by Beau and then go out in front of hundreds of people and let them see it. They're going to think it's a girl, he knows that, but the kicker is that it's not and that it's Beau and fuck, he is more than grateful for that.

Beau doesn't reply to him, he instead bucks his hips forward, letting Elliott become aware of how hard he is already and then he starts sucking on the skin. Elliott's brain is way too fuzzy now to even begin to form a sentence to tell him to stop, especially when he really doesn't want him to. He reaches down to put a hand on top of his own cock and fuck, he's hard as hell too. He massages himself through the thin cotton for a bit, but it isn't long before Beau realizes what he's doing and he bats his hand away to do it himself. There's pre-cum seeping out from the tip and Beau probably knows it too because Elliott's boxers are thin and it's most likely seeping through. 

Elliott makes the split second decision to get his clothes off, and he pulls away from Beau's mouth just long enough to get his own shirt off and throw it across the room. Beau takes it upon himself to work on getting Elliott's boxers off, pulling them down just enough to get his cock out and wrap his big hand around it. The skin to skin contact is enough to send him over the edge, but he's gotten good at holding himself back with Beau - he's had years of practice with that. He doesn't even want to think about the time he almost came on stage when Beau grabbed his cock and fucking messed with it for a full god dammed minute - at least it felt like a minute.

"Oh, oh, fuck," Elliott moans because it feels so fucking good. He wishes that it wasn't only on tours that they got to do this, but it was something and he wasn't about to complain.

"I've got a condom with me if you want to fuck," Beau whispers, and Elliott is instantly nodding (even in the dark) and gets up from his lap.

"Yes, yes, please," Elliott says as he takes his boxers completely off.

Beau gets the condom in record time (especially since they're in the dark - it's pretty damn impressive, but they've done stuff like this in dark places before so it's really nothing new), and pulls Elliott over towards the couch and gets him on his knees - the way Elliott likes it the most. He was so glad Beau was cutting to the chase and just getting it done. They had plenty of time for teasing later, but right now he fucking needed it.

"How much prep do you need?" Beau asks breathlessly as he teases his entrance with two fingers soaked in spit.

"None, fucking none, I want you," he pleads, arching his back and quietly moaning when his fingers go in and push up and he hits that spot that feels fucking perfect. Beau moves his fingers around, causing Elliott to squirm underneath him. It isn't long before Beau replaces his fingers with his cock and Elliott bites his lip so hard that he thinks that he probably made it bleed. The biggest drawback to having to fuck your best friend in secret is having to stay quiet all the time. And with a friend like Beau, that was fucking hard to say the very least.

"Good, because I wasn't in the mood to wait," he growls into his ear as he fucks. His pace is slow, and then he slams in hard after a couple of thrusts, and then goes slow again. It's the motion that always drives Elliott over the edge the quickest, and fuck he's so close now. He doesn't want it to end so quickly, but he doesn't want to wait either. 

Beau doesn't make holding off any easier when he grabs his long hair and fucking yanks it hard and bites the area of the skin that he had fucked with earlier and Elliott isn't able to hold back the moan this time. It really, really fucking loud and Beau instantly puts his other hand on his mouth and muffles the rest of it. 

"Be - fucking - quiet," Beau groans, pounding him harder, faster, and deeper than before. His moans are still fucking loud even though Beau's hand is covering his mouth and somehow it's even a bigger turn on to him. He wishes his hands were tied behind his back too, because Beau's got him in the mood for that right then but there's no way he has the patience to wait for it. Seconds after he gives his hair an agonizingly hard tug, Elliott is trembling beneath him, moaning his name over and over. Beau pulls out and stokes himself quickly, coming on his lower back and biting his lip so that he doesn't say Elliott's name too loudly.

They're both messier than usual, and Elliott knows he was too loud. Fuck, the driver probably even heard him when he screamed. He wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the band was right outside the door ready to give an intervention and ask what the hell was going on and why was Beau hurting him. He's lost in that train of thought when Beau cleans off his back with a tissue, so lost that he doesn't even realize that he does it.

Maybe that's why he's shaking so bad, and why he hasn't even said anything about anything yet. He usually gets really pissed off when Beau did shit like that, but right now he's sitting down and thinking over what might be about to happen.

"Elliott?" Beau asks, sounding unsure of what to say.

"Do you think they'll kick me out of the band?" he replies.

"What?" he laughs, sitting down beside him. "What the hell are you talking about? Kick you out of the band-"

"They had to have heard me. There's no way they didn't."

"Dude. You know they're all heavy sleepers! And besides, even if they did, why the hell would they kick you out of the band?"

"I don't know - I-"

"You're freaking out over nothing, Elliott. Look, no one heard and I'll prove it to you, right after I find my clothes. Shit, this is hard to do in the dark..."

They both get dressed and then Beau is opening the door, to reveal - nothing. There isn't anyone standing right outside the room, no one is on the couch in the fetal position, and the cops aren't in the bus ready to arrest Elliott for having sex with Beau. Elliott is relieved to say the very least, and smiles shyly over at Beau before heading to the restroom to clean up and then go to bed.


	2. You Wear a Crown But You're No King

Elliott barely has three hours sleep when he's awoken by someone crawling into his bunk. He likes to think that it's Beau, and is seriously about to kiss him on the cheek when he realizes that the guy smells like a fucking fireplace and - nope - Beau doesn't wear manly cologne.

"Matt!" Elliott gasps, pushing him away. Matt has just started trying to spoon with him and this is not okay in any sense. 

"What? I got kicked out of my bunk and I'm still sleepy. You let Beau in here all the time - why can't I come in?"

Elliott is about to point out how his and Beau's relationship is different from theirs but thankfully his brain kicks in fast enough to prevent him from slipping up. He's not really sure what their relationship is - but it's definitely not what his and Matt's friendship is like. Matt is nice - he really is - but he's not one that Elliott is extremely close to. And not to mention the fact that when Beau comes in there - it's to fuck or something along those lines.

"You - I - Fine. But why were you kicked out of your own bunk? That doesn't make sense."

"Eric spilt his fucking cheerios in his and now it's all wet. He claims it's impossible to sleep in wet milk sheets, the asshole."

"Fine. Just, don't get too up in my personal space, okay?"

"But Beau-"

"Don't 'but Beau' me. I've tried to stop him but he won't - I'm drawing the line with the rest of you."

"Fine. Can I at least put my arm around you?"

"No."

"Well, I'm doing it anyways," he says, reaching over and wrapping his arm around his waist. 

Elliott feels bad. Not just uncomfortable because Matt's arm is around him, he feels guilty. Almost like he's cheating on Beau - which he knows is stupid to feel like because they're not even dating in the first place. Hell, Beau is married for Christ's sake. But, all the same, he feels like he's doing something that he shouldn't. Like it's crossing a line to cuddle with Matt - or anyone else for that matter. And maybe it feels even worse because it's someone else from the band, but he falls asleep in the middle of his worrying.

***

"Get your filthy hands off my man!" someone (which Elliott instantly recognizes as Beau's voice - everyone knew his bitchy tone and that was definitely it) shouts as he drags Matt out of Elliott's bunk. "What the hell, dude?"

"Bro, blame Eric! He's the one that kicked me out of my own bunk!" Matt fires back. Elliott did not know that Matt was shirtless in there with him.

Eric walks by Beau with a mouthful of donut and one in hand and smiles at him. 

Beau does not look pleased - at all.

"You didn't have to choose Elliott's bunk!" 

"Okay, I chose his at random, dude. Chill. If it makes you feel any better he didn't want me in there anyways."

Beau's angry expression softens a little (well, Elliott isn't sure how much it does, he's still got sleep in his eyes and his vision is still blurry from waking up but he can definitely tell he isn't as angry as he was two seconds ago). 

And then he starts to wonder, why is Beau even this mad in the first place? Wasn't his attachment to Elliott just a joke anyways? Shouldn't he just be kidding? But - the thing is - he's totally not kidding and no one is even questioning why he is being so possessive. Maybe he's always been like this and Elliott just hasn't noticed.

"But you still stayed in there even after he told you he didn't want you there?" Beau says after thinking it over.

"Ugh, yes. I was tired, Beau! Fuck, chill out. It's not like we fucked for God's sake."

Elliott's cheeks turn red then and he has to hide his face the best he can from everyone because he seriously doesn't know how he's feeling right now. 

"Better not have," Beau replies, his tone still angry - not joking - and then sits down by Elliott on the couch. He wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses him on the cheek - making his blush ten times worse than it was before.

He tries to think of something to say, but can't. He's not really sure what he would say. He wishes the rest of the band wasn't there so he could ask Beau what it was all about and how he really felt and - stuff - but they are there and they're not going anywhere. So he stays silent, and the day starts moving along like usual, the guys acting like everything was fine and this was normal behavior for them.

Was it, though?

***

"I've got the pre-show jitters!" Matt says, jumping up and down in place. The intro music is playing and he's the first one out on stage - and Elliott thanks God for that. He definitely wouldn't want to be the one to walk out first. 

"That's because you're a big baby," Beau laughs, punching his arm. "Get out there and make them scream."

Matt walks out and sure enough, there's a loud chorus of screaming fans right after he does. Eric is getting his guitar strap set and Jared is busy tuning the last string of his bass the way he likes it.

"Ready?" Beau whispers into Elliott's ear, causing goosebumps to appear on his neck afterwards even though it's hot as fuck in Pomona today. It also causes him to remember the hickey he left too, which was thankfully not too hard to cover up that morning with concealer (he's had to do it before). Beau apparently remembers too (and thinks about it at the same time) because he bites down on the place and then kisses softly before running out on stage right when they should. Elliott almost trips over himself, but thankfully doesn't, as he does, and then they're playing their first show of warped tour. 

And Elliott has to play it with a fucking hard on, no thanks to Beau. 

But honestly, he's not too upset about it. He's learned how to play when he was unbelievably horny over the years (he had to learn since it was one of Beau's favorite hobbies to fuck with him while he's playing on stage). So he doesn't fuck up the first few chords of You Wear A Crown But You're No King (thankfully), but it starts to get a bit harder when Beau comes up to him and puts his hand on his knee.

Which is totally innocent at first, but Elliott knows where it could fucking lead. He also knows that their show is going to be live streaming at some point, but it wasn't going to be until their third song because they're live streaming another band instead right then. So if Beau is gonna fuck with him, it's going to be early in the set.

And oh, he is fucking with him.

Just like Elliott thought, Beau's hand doesn't stay on his knee (oh, hell no) it goes up a little further on his thigh and he has to bite his lip to remember the notes - third fret, second fret - then back to the third. Beau leaves it at that and jumps across stage to go do something else (thank God) and Elliott takes a couple of breaths and gets back in the mindset for the song.

The next time he comes over, he's not as forgiving and it's not his hand on Elliott's thigh this time - it's his mouth. Fuck - his mouth is on his thigh and he's biting and - yeah he misses that chord. Beau has his arm wrapped around Elliott's calf and he's holding on tight while Jared's screaming and holy shit Elliott's jeans couldn't get any tighter at this point. He's glad that his guitar is in front of his crotch, but at the same time it's giving him a little bit of friction and he is already too close to cumming as it is. He may be twenty five years old but every time Beau is messing with him he feels eighteen again and his hormones rage out of control.

Beau finally leaves him alone after they finish the song, and the rest of the set Elliott spends actually hitting every note he was supposed to.

***

Elliott is scrolling through his Twitter feed on his phone when he hears the click of a picture being taken and - yeah - it's Beau.

"Beau, why the fuck are you taking a selfie right now?" he asks.

"Wasn't taking a picture of myself," he replies, messing with his phone again.

"Of me? I was yawning, dude, give me your phone. You better not be about to post that shit somewhere."

"Too late!" he exclaims, and right after he says it Elliott gets a notification on his phone that itsbeaubokan has sent him a Snapchat.

"You've got to be kidding me," he says, opening it. He's met with a horrible picture of him mid-yawn, that Beau has captioned with 'tired bby' and Elliott isn't sure why but his heart skips a beat when he sees that he called him 'bby'. It really shouldn't matter - like, it should be a joke and Elliott should just laugh it off but instead he's blushing again and he realizes that he's supposed to be mad at Beau right then for sending a picture out to the whole world of him yawning. So he puts his phone to the side and decides to tackle Beau on the other couch, and then they're rolling around and acting like total idiots, but Elliott loves it. 

"Stop Snapchatting unflattering pictures of me to the world," he says, trying to pin down Beau's arms, but he is way too small to take control of him, and it isn't long before Beau is on top of him instead, pinning his arms above his head.

"They're not unflattering," he says, trying to situate himself better on the small couch, but he almost falls off in the process and it makes Elliott start laughing.

"You idiot," he laughs, wiggling his legs around and trying to gain the control back and get on top of Beau. Their legs are all tangled up and then Elliott tries to flip Beau over but he only succeeds in making him fall to the floor, and he falls with him. 

"Ow, dammit!" Beau laughs, "That hurt my back."

"No worse than you've hurt mine, shithead," he replies, about to stand up off him, but Beau puts his hands on the sides of his waist and pulls him back down.

"You liked it," he says, before subtly - so, so subtly - bucking his hips up and, oh fuck, he's hard. Elliott retaliates the motion, and grinds his hips down so that it gives Beau some friction in his jeans. 

"Fuck, Elliott," he moans. He keeps his hands on his sides and guides Elliott back and forth on him, and Elliott has to bite his lip so that he doesn't repeat what happened the previous night. They may be completely alone on the bus, but he still doesn't want anyone outside to hear him.

They stay like this for a while; Elliott just moving himself on top of Beau and rocking his hips into him, Beau guiding him slightly. Elliott wants more, and he wishes he knew how much time they had before someone came onto the bus.

"Where are they?" he asks, worried that they might be caught. He guesses he it wouldn't be that bad if someone caught him right now - they both had their clothes on still and he could just pretend they were still play fighting - but still.

"With - Vic -" Beau chokes out, starting to unbutton Elliott's denim shorts. Elliott assists him in getting them down, and it isn't long before he's got them off and he's back of top of him, rocking his hips into him and moaning every once in a while. Beau puts his hands on Elliott's ass and pushes him too - and there might not be any actual skin to skin contact, but it's enough. It's so enough that Elliott is close (already, and he doesn't want to be but once he gets to this point it's pretty much impossible to stop) and he leans down and kisses Beau. It's hard and so fucking good to feel his lips.

"Fuck, baby," Beau moans into the kiss and that's it. Elliott loses it right then, and he's moaning as he comes, his hips grinding down hard and his body trembling. Beau keeps him moving, though, pushing him back and forth on his cock until he comes too, kissing Elliott when he does and holding him down onto himself.

They stay there for a minute, Elliott laying on top of him and both breathing heavily, until Beau pats Elliott's ass once and it causes them both to start laughing.

"Can I Snapchat a picture of you laying on top of me?" 

"Not unless you want me to suck your dick afterwards," Elliott replies, which is probably what would happen if he did it. Well, maybe not right then, because Elliott is worn the fuck out, but give him an hour or so of sleep and then he'll get right to it. Elliott rolls off of Beau and lays beside him on the floor for a moment longer before he finally decides to get his ass up and put on clean clothes (because there is no way in hell that he's taking a shower - no - he's way too fucking tired for that).

By the time Eric and the rest of the band get back on the bus, they're sitting on the couch watching Game of Thrones DVDs (sitting to where their thighs are touching and Beau's arm is around him).


	3. Youngbloods

They're in the middle of playing Youngbloods when he does it.

Well, sort of in the middle. More like three fourths of the way through - right around the part on the riff where Elliott almost always fucks up - without any intervention from Beau. Now, with intervention from Beau, it becomes a 99% chance that he will mess it up. 

So that's why he is hoping (oh, he is fucking really hoping) that Beau won't come over and screw with him during the part. But as soon as Jared starts on the verse, Beau is prancing his sorry ass over towards his side of the stage and he doesn't have any time to move away before he's on his knees beside him and his hand is on his crotch. He doesn't even fucking tease before he does it - he just goes straight for it. And yeah, Elliott has just screwed up several notes. He still has a smirk on, though, and he's trying to back off, to get away from Beau's touch, but it's impossible when he's standing on the speaker and playing. If he backed up anymore he'd fall on his ass and that's the last thing he wants to do right now.

It doesn't take long for him to get hard either, and it's even more difficult playing the damn song when he has a hard on and he's thinking about Beau. Thoughts of what he's doing and how it's in front of hundreds of people is turning him on more than it usually did, and to add to his misery Beau starts squeezing it and, oh fuck, he can tell there's already pre-cum at the tip and now he's panicking. He's now past the worst part of the song for him to play and his fingers are playing from memory now; so he's able to focus more on what's happening down there. And, holy fuck, it feels so good he just has to grab Beau's wrist and push his hips into his palm. 

Right after he does it, though, he realizes that he's fucked up. He had stopped playing for a split second and pushed into the pressure in front of everyone - but no one really seems to care except Beau, whom ends up actually missing some of the words he's supposed to sing and then starts singing them. Elliott plays the rest of the song with his back to the crowd and thinking of something - anything - as long as it isn't Beau.

***

"What the hell?" Elliott hisses as he walks off the stage, stomping after Beau and glaring at his sweaty back. He really wish he could feel how hard he was glaring at him, too. 

Beau ignores him completely and, oh my God, he should not have done that. Not when Elliott is this pissed off. Maybe during a normal day it would be acceptable - but not today. Not right now. Not after what he just did.

"Beau!" he repeats, grabbing the back of his arm and yanking him to a halt. 

He turns around and looks at him with an expression of someone who hasn't done anything. 

Fucking please.

"Yes?"

"What the hell was that about? Fucking around with me like that during the part you know I have a hard time with in Youngbloods! And you expect me not to get turned on or something? Then you fucking leave me horny and embarrassed because I screwed up my part and gave in and pushed into your hand-"

"Would you shut up for a second?" he hisses, turning around and walking away from him again. Elliott is confused, pissed, and horny as fuck, and he runs after him. 

"Where are you going? I'm not letting this go-"

"Shut up, Elliott!" he curses, stopping at whatever bus they've got walked up to (he's not even sure where they are - he isn't paying attention), and he opens the door and turns around to practically throw Elliott inside. Turns out it's their bus (Elliott really should've recognized it but his brain is a complete mess right now). Beau slams the door shut behind them and then pushes Elliott up against it.

"I never fucking said I wasn't going to take care of you afterwards," he hisses before harshly crashing their lips together. It's hot, so fucking hot, and Elliott moans into it and instantly wraps his arms around him. Their teeth are clashing and it's really sloppy but he doesn't care - he's getting relief right now and that's all that matters. Beau then puts a hand in between Elliott's legs and it causes him to throw his head back against the wall and his breath to hitch because it feels so fucking good. He pushes up into his touch just like he had during their set - but harder and more needy. He wants more, he wants actual contact from Beau on his dick and he wants it now - he's fucking tired of waiting. He doesn't have to say anything though, because Beau sinks down to his knees seconds later and, holy shit, he's undoing the button on his jeans and he's about to put his mouth on his cock, isn't he?

Fucking hell.

"Oh, fuck, Beau..." he says as he watches him slowly pull the denim and boxers down together, finally freeing his hard cock. He leans forward and takes the tip of it in, bobbing his head on it slowly and looking up at Elliott the whole fucking time. He sucks on it for a while before sitting back and then placing kisses all along the shaft, which Elliott would've normally appreciated a great deal and loved to have seen - but dammit, he's horny as hell and he feels like he's about to explode and he doesn't want any more teasing right now. He's never dominating at all during sex, but this is a different kind of situation, so he threads his fingers through Beau's hair and he guides him exactly where he wants him - and pushes him down hard and - oh, fuck, it feels amazing. Beau's moaning around his cock and the vibrations are driving him even more insane, and he thrusts his hips into his mouth and he just fucking lets everything go. 

"Oh, fuck, your mouth, fucking hell," he moans, pushing Beau down on himself hard when he comes, and Beau is gagging around it as he does. He pulls out instantly and then the feelings of guilt rush up after a moment and then he's pulling his jeans back on as fast as he can so he can apologize because that was so completely out of character. 

"Beau, I," he starts, but Beau holds up a hand while he wipes his eyes and then starts laughing.

"It's okay," he says, his voice hoarse and coughing slightly afterwards. Oh fuck, Elliott feels guilty as hell. "It turned me on to do it."

Okay, maybe that makes him feel a little bit better about it - but still. He mentally notes to himself that being dominate is kind of fun - and he doesn't want to do it all the time - but every once in a while...

"I'll get you off now-"

"No. We don't have time," he replies, standing up. "Signing at three, remember?" 

Right.

"Yeah. Yeah - I, I'm still sorry."

"Don't apologize. Why do you think I teased you so hard on stage? I wanted to see that side of you," he winks, before walking to the bathroom to wash up.

Elliott really doesn't know how to feel about the whole thing, his mind is still fuzzy from the intensity of his orgasm, but all he knows that he's going to be extra submissive the next time that he and Beau do something together. Because that's the way he likes it and feels more comfortable.

It was still fun doing it, though.

***

They're at a beach near Ventura when Elliott decides to get a little revenge on Beau. 

Well, it's not exactly revenge in the usual sense, since revenge isn't usually pleasurable at the same time, but all the same. 

Beau is over by the ocean acting like an idiot with Eric, and Elliott is standing beside them, kicking at the shells he sees on the shoreline.

"The water is gonna get you!" Beau screams, the waves rushing up and the both of them running away from it like children. It's cute, it really is, but Elliott is not in the mood for cute. He may have gotten off with Beau earlier but that doesn't really matter (or count, in his opinion) - Beau had some type of sexual air to him that could make anyone a sex addict.

Elliott isn't a sex addict - at least, not yet.

But that's beside the point. Right now, he's about to get back at Beau for all of the concerts where he tortured him (well, it might just be getting him back for today, because if he wanted revenge for every show that he had tortured him during he would need to do something way more drastic than this). 

"Oh, fuck, it almost touched my foot!" Eric shouts back, laughing his ass off as he runs ahead of them. Elliott is glad that Beau doesn't run after him, because he's not sure if he can wait any longer to start his plan - he's fucking excited.

"You okay, Elliott? You're being quieter than usual," he says, stopping his little game of 'don't let the water touch your foot or you're dead' since Eric was at least 20 feet away now.

"Yeah, just thinking..." he says, before looking over at him and subtly biting his bottom lip. Normally, no one would notice that kind of thing, but Beau always noticed when Elliott was horny. And it always drove him insane.

"About?"

"You..." he replies, getting a little closer to him and making sure that his words can't be heard by anyone else on the beach. Vic starts walking their way and the last thing Elliott wants is his plan to fall back on himself and Vic to hear the filthy things he was about to say.

He'd die of embarrassment.

But thankfully, Vic isn't near them for long and he goes straight for Eric.

"How much I want to suck your cock right now," he whispers, reaching out and putting his fingers on Beau's bare chest for a split second. It's not much of anything, really, but with the way Beau reacts to this simple gesture is better than he had planned. Beau's face is already red and he turns away from him to resume walking slowly along the California shoreline.

"Good for you," he sarcastically replies. It's meant to sound bitchy, Elliott knows it, because he's trying not to get too turned on. They have nowhere to go if they did want to do something, and even after everyone was done hanging out on the beach they had already planned to all go out for dinner together, and there was no getting out of that.

It was all too perfect.

"How I would love to get on my knees for you right now, right on the beach, and take you all in. I'd deep throat you so good..."

"Stop it," Beau hisses, giving him a quick glare. Elliott's eyes divert to Beau's swimming trunks briefly and, holy fuck, it's so obvious he has a hard on. Elliott is having a hard time concealing his smirk.

"I'd start by teasing you - just licking the tip a couple of times and kissing the sides... And then I'd go down, wrapping my lips around your huge cock and-"

"I'm warning you," he says, angrily. 

So apparently it's one thing when Beau is teasing him in front of a bunch of people, but when he does it it's oh, so wrong. They're not even in front of fans right now, and Beau is pissed. Elliott can't imagine how mad he would be if he teased him on stage, and he mentally notes to do try that at least once on this tour.

If this is wrong then Elliott never wants to be right again.

"Fuck, I just want your cum on my face right now. I want to make you moan my name, Beau. Oh, fuck, I love it when you pull my hair while I'm licking all over your cock-"

"Eric!" Beau shouts, running towards the ginger.

Oh, he wasn't getting away that easily.

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

Elliott casually jogs up to them and walks right beside Beau. 

"Talking to Vic..." Eric replies, giving him an odd look. Vic laughs.

Elliott puts an arm around Beau's waist and no one gives it a second glance. No one except for Beau, of course. He's attempting to squirm away, but Elliott only pulls him closer and then their hips are touching while they're walking and Elliott is so satisfied with himself, he doesn't think he's been this proud in years. He's made Beau apparently horny enough to wear a simple touch to the side is driving him insane. It probably wasn't helping that he wasn't able to get off earlier because they had a signing, either.

"About what? What were you- talking about?" Beau asks, biting his lip and shooting Elliott a full on glare (if looks could kill, he would've definitely died that instant). He has his hand moving down Beau's waist now - and it's resting right on top of the waistband of his trunks. He sticks one finger in (they're walking at a convenient angle to where neither Eric nor Vic could see what Elliott's hand was doing - although anyone walking behind them probably could but he doesn't give a shit), and then adds another. He's running his fingers along the outline of Beau's hipbone now, and he hears him gasp softly when he does.

"Since when do you care about what Vic and I talk about?" Eric quizzes, glancing back at Beau.

"I dunno, just trying to get in on the con-" he says, but stops short when Elliott sneaks his hand further into his trunks and his fingers actually brush the tip of his dick, "-versatoin. Conversation."

"Right... Well, we were talking about where to go out for dinner tonight. Vic said there was a good pizzeria not too far from here."

"You're gonna love it, seriously, they have the best deep dish pizzas," Vic says, with a huge smile.

"Really? I'm starving right now, let's get going!" Beau exclaims, backing up from Elliott's grasp, whom has to contort his arm in a weird way so that no one can tell that he was totally just fondling Beau.

"I'm not hungry yet," Elliott says, and Beau stops his foot in reply.

"Yes, you are!" he shouts back, earning himself weird looks from both Vic and Eric. 

"Excuse me?" Elliott replies. He's finding it harder and harder to hide his smirk, but he's still doing pretty well in his opinion, especially since Beau is basically throwing a full on tantrum because of him right in front of his eyes.

It was so perfect.

"You're hungry, and we're going and that's that. Eric, gather up the rest of our band, I'll get Elliott," he says, grabbing him by the arm and heading up to the pier.

"Let go of me!" he grunts, jerking his arm away from him - whom instantly grabs it back and they lock eyes.

"Don't tell me what to do."

Oh, Elliott likes this side of Beau a lot. He's usually the sweetest, kindest guy of the band (which was great, but sometimes Elliott didn't want him to be sweet) - unless you do one of two things.

One: beat him in Mario Kart. He will not hesitate to call you every cuss word known to man in several different languages and punch walls and ignore you for the rest of the night (or week - depending on how bad he loses. Once Elliott was first place and Beau was sixth and Elliott never wants to see that side of him again).

Two: you tease him to the point of unbearable sexual frustration in front of his friends and attempt to deny any possibility for him to get off with you.

And in order to make things the most fun that they could possibly be, Elliott yanked free of his grasp, again, and walked ahead of him. 

"Fuck you, I'll do what I want," he says, smiling this time because Beau can't see it.

Before Beau has a chance to reply, Jared and Matt catch up with them and start talking about what type of pizza they want to devour first.

***

They go to the pizza place and Beau is mid-bite when Elliott decides to do it. His hand slips underneath the table and he lays his hand right on top of Beau's crotch - which caused him to jump and hit his knee on the table. Everyone instantly looks over at Beau.

"Are you okay, dude?" Matt asks, giving him a concerned look. 

"Fine," he replies, biting his lip when Elliott squeezes his cock through his jeans.

"You sure you're okay? Maybe we should go back to the bus early," Jared suggests, being the most caring of the band like usual.

"No, I'm fine-"

"It could just be you that goes back and we finish eating," Eric suggests. 

Elliott can practically see the light bulb light up right above Beau's head. 

"I think I will," he says before getting up and making his way out of the pizzeria faster than Elliott could process what was happening.

He knows he can't leave Beau alone in the bus alone for long - because if he does then he'd get off and then all the fun that he had worked so hard to achieve would be spoiled. Everything that he had done to work Beau up into a horny pissed off mess would be gone and he didn't do all of that for nothing.

So, he sits there for a bit longer (long enough to finish his pizza and carry out a bit of a conversation with Vic and Eric about something to do with sports - he's not even sure what he's saying half the time), and then says he's going to head to the bus too on the account that he's tired.

Yeah, he's not tired at all, but the lie worked so it doesn't matter.

He's not surprised at all to walk onto the bus and not see Beau. He assumes he's either in the bathroom or his bunk (or maybe even the back room if he really wanted to be comfortable while getting off - but Elliott highly doubts that he gave two shits about being comfortable right now). 

But then he hears the sound of a bowl colliding with the sink in the kitchen and spins around to see Beau washing his hands with his back turned towards him. He's shirtless, and Elliott has no idea why. Did he already get off? Was Elliott too late for the fun?

"Hey," he says, unsure of the tone he should use. 

Beau doesn't reply and that puts him at ease - he's still pissed. Exactly how he wanted him right now.

"So..."

"Don't push it," he warns, continuing with cleaning up his mess in the kitchen and not even giving him a glance. He shrugs and decides to play hard to get even longer and walks towards his bunk - but he doesn't even make it halfway there before Beau has already grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall in between bunks.

"Fuck you, Elliott," he growls before attacking his neck with harsh bites. It hurts like hell, but holy fuck, he likes it. He moves his hand up to put it in Beau's hair, but it's batted down and Beau grabs a fistful of his and tugs hard and bites down even harder. He's grinding his hips into him, forcing himself on him harder than ever before. They've done this kind of thing before (of course they have) but never like this. Never fueled by anger.

Elliott thinks he might be more excited right now than he was the first time they had sex.

"On your knees," he commands, and he considers hesitating for only a second because Beau doesn't give him a choice - he pushes him down and then he's unbuttoning his jeans just like that. Elliott really wants to keep the game going - to keep saying no - so he stands up again and then there it was -

Slap.

Beau's hand goes straight across his cheek and the burn is unbelievable. There's tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and he has to bite his tongue hard not to cry out in pain.

"I said, on your knees," he repeats, and this time - he sinks down exactly as he's told and looks up expectantly. There's hardly any time in between then and when he shoves his dick towards his mouth and he takes it in, but he's intentionally not doing a good job. He could do a lot better than he is, right now he's basically just holding his mouth open around it and he's just waiting for Beau to get pissed off again.

Which he does.

He pulls his cock out of Elliott's mouth and then grabs his hair and pulls tight.

"Do it right, dammit. Take it like the whore you are," he spits, guiding Elliott back down to it, pushing his cock in hard and deep. So deep that it makes Elliott start to gag, but he doesn't let up and yeah, the tears are flowing now. It hurts like hell, the combination of Beau pulling on his hair (which is way too conveniently long for this) and the burn of deep throating him (which is already torture enough since he is larger than the average anyways). But it's turning him on like he's never been turned on before and he finds himself wanting to hurt more. He wants Beau to hurt him.

So he starts to try to fight back. He pulls his mouth off his cock and coughs, spitting out pre-cum and it's so fucking messy and dirty - a lot messier than they should be especially when this was a secret, but Elliott doesn't give a shit right now. And just like he wanted, Beau retaliates again - slapping his cheek even harder this time and Elliott actually yelps in pain.

"Don't you give me that attitude. You teased me all damn day, you owe me this. Now open up," he says, pushing his cock towards his mouth again. Elliott is crying this time as he goes down on him, and he does a bit better job. Beau is moaning like crazy, and he can tell he's probably close too.

Hell, Elliott was close and the only thing he could feel on his cock was the friction from his jeans but given the situation that was enough. He puts his left hand down onto himself while he works on pleasing Beau, but he unexpectedly receives another slap. This time, he doesn't think he deserves it so he stops and glares up at him.

"I didn't say you could touch yourself. Hands behind your back."

"Fuck you," Elliott replies, and he doesn't even really mean to say it, but he's horny as fuck and he's not thinking straight whatsoever. He expects to be slapped again, but instead Beau walks away towards his own bunk. Elliott starts panicking because, holy shit, everything stopping was the last thing he wanted. But thankfully, he wasn't gone long, and then Beau gets down on his knees behind Elliott. He turns his head to look to see what in the hell he's doing, and that's when Beau grabs his arms and pulls them back and, oh fuck, he's tying his wrists together behind his back. With what, Elliott doesn't know, but he doesn't really care. He's pissed and turned on at the same time and it's sending his senses into overdrive.

"I want you to do exactly what I say now," he says as he stands up again, pulling on Elliott's hair and guiding his mouth back to his cock. It's not long before Elliott's gagging again, and there's no sign of Beau letting up, either. Elliott rocks his hips forward a bit, enough to give his cock some much needed attention and friction. And, oh fuck, he needs more. He moves his arms to see if he could subtly get them free but Beau tied them fucking tight. So tight, that it hurts and whatever he used is definitely going to leave marks - especially since he is tugging so hard trying to get loose. Beau pulls his cock out and rubs the tip on Elliott's lips, and Elliott opens his mouth to take him in again.

"Yeah baby, that's it... Fucking suck me down..." Beau groans, putting a hand on the back of Elliott's head and pushing him further down. He moans around his length and changes the angle his hips are and, holy fuck, the friction feels amazing, but at the same time his jeans are fucking hurting him. He's so close, and when Beau pulls out and starts jerking his cock above his face he sticks his tongue out because he fucking wants his cum. His wants it on his tongue and all over his face - he wants it so badly. 

He also wants some attention on his cock.

"Beau... Fuck, please cum on me. Cum on my face, fucking please. I need you-" he moans out before being silenced by Beau's cock sliding in again. 

"Shut up," he growls, fucking Elliott's mouth a couple more times before pulling out and stroking his cock above him again. 

When Beau starts cumming on his face, he fucking loses it. He doesn't know what else to do but jerk his hips forward, in a last feeble attempt to get some friction on himself. 

"Oh, fuck, oh oh oh," he moans, his orgasm a lot more intense than he would've ever thought possible without even touching himself. He pulls at the restrains on his wrists hard when he does, desperately trying to touch. 

There's silence for a while as they both come down from their orgasms. 

"Don't move," Beau says, and Elliott is about to complain that he's been in the same position for too long already and that he needs to clean up his filthy face, but he comes back quickly, with his phone in his hand.

"Hey, no way, Beau! No pictures-"

"Come on, just one? You look so beautiful like this."

That one sentence really made Elliott start to think about what they were - what he was - to Beau. Never had Beau referred to him as beautiful. Maybe he was over thinking things (he wouldn't put it past himself, he had a bad habit of doing that) but calling someone beautiful really seemed like something you did only when you felt a little closer to them than friends. Especially when they probably didn't look very beautiful at all - at least in Elliott's opinion he probably didn't.

"As long as you promise to not let it leak onto the Internet," he replies, and then Beau takes the pictures he wants.

He then cleans him off, wiping his face well with a wet rag and then untying his wrists.

"I'm sorry for hitting you," he says, his tone full of guilt. Elliott laughs. His cheek still burns and is probably red from where he was hit, but Elliott doesn't think he's ever enjoyed being hurt so much in his life. It's weird (fucked up, even), but he's not afraid to admit to himself (or to Beau) that he likes it. 

"Don't be - I loved it," he replies, getting ready to stand up for the first time in probably an hour (at least it feels like it's been an hour). But before he can stand, Beau steadies him and presses their lips together. It's startling to say the least, but Elliott kisses him right back. He puts his hands on both sides of Elliott's face and mumbles into the kiss something that he can't quite hear (and he's not even sure that Beau meant him to hear it in the first place) - but it sounds kind of like "I love you".

That's where things start getting complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you this was going to be filthy smut XD Anyways, I think this might be the longest chapter I've ever written for anything in the history of me writing fanfiction.


	4. Guys Like You Make Us Look Bad

They end up having a bowling tournament the next night. Elliott had completely forgotten about it - they had been told that they were doing something for charity before the tour, but he hadn't really paid much attention to it. Either way, he was enjoying it. And, much to his astonishment, his band was actually doing pretty well. In fact, they were ahead by almost 10 points (Pierce the Veil was right behind them and catching up fast, but with Vic's terrible bowling abilities, he doubted that they had anything to worry about).

Which, they didn't. The combination of Beau making a strike each time it was his turn, and Jared doing the same, was throwing them way ahead of everyone, and by the end of the match they had won by a landslide.

He isn't surprised at how proud Beau is about it.

What he is surprised about is how fucking horny he is right now.

How is it even possible to get this turned on during a bowling match that's for charity for Christ's sake? He's not sure. But it most likely has something to do with Beau Bokan being in his presence, and when they are taking pictures with their well earned trophy, Beau gets down on his knees and kisses it the damn thing - right in front of him.

He wonders if he did it on purpose just to make his life harder, but he isn't sure so he decides to not blame him for it, and instead blame it on his raging sex drive.

They're still at the bowling ally an hour after they win, and he just can't take it anymore. He can't take the thoughts of sucking on Beau's cock, or Beau sucking on his, or just - sex. Fuck, he needs it so badly so he walks up to him, whom was currently taking a million pictures (and selfies with) their trophy with this huge grin on his face, and puts an arm around his waist.

"You seem to be glad we won," he whispers into his ear. He, in turn, turns towards him and plants a kiss on his cheek and nods.

"Hell yeah, I am. More than glad. Fucking ecstatic. Aren't you?"

And there is his opportunity.

"Yeah. My mind is just on... Other things."

He seems to catch on pretty quickly this time, and he's glad that he isn't in the mood to play games right now.

"Oh, really?" he replies, turning so that they're facing each other now. Everyone else there is too busy drinking beers and partying to notice (or care about) the two of them, so he's not worried about anyone seeing what might be about to happen.

"Yeah..."

"You're not the only one," he replies, giving their surroundings a quick glance. Then he slyly pulls him up against himself and kisses his forehead.

It's mild enough that if anyone saw, they could chalk it up to messing around, but just enough to where they can both feel each other's erections and, oh fuck, Beau is so hard.

"Let's take this somewhere private," Beau whispers in his ear, and he doesn't have to decide on whether or not to do it, and he definitely doesn't give a damn if anyone finds it suspicious that both of them are walking to the back together. 

Not to mention the fact that he highly doubts that anyone is paying attention anyways - they're all too busy chanting at Vic and Eric to chug more beer and to be honest, he wouldn't want to be a part of that anyways.

He doesn't even wait until they're at the restrooms to push Elliott up against a wall and start making out with him. It's desperate, like he's been thinking about doing this the whole time too, and, oh fuck, it's so good. His lips are always the sweetest thing in the whole world to him, and he wants to kiss him all night long.

"Oh," he moans into the kiss, and he can feel Beau smirk in response to it. He knows that he loves having the power over him, and hell, he always has him under his control whether Elliott wants to admit it or not.

He would do anything for him.

"I want to fuck you," he says, and it sends another surge of warmth to Elliott's crotch when he says it. He thought he would get a blow job at best, but getting fucked? He doesn't even know how they're going to accomplish that without being caught - but he's open to ideas - that's for damn sure.

"Where?" is his response, and Beau bites his neck harshly, and yeah, he cries out a bit.

"Bathroom," he replies, and then he's dragging him by the arm towards the men's restroom. It's empty (and, thankfully, sanitary) and even has a lock on the door.

This is a lot better than usual.

He resumes kissing his neck, and starts sucking on the skin after he bites down. It hurts, but he likes it. Ever since the last time they had sex he's been open to anything with him - especially anything involving pain. It made everything even more intoxicating.

"Oh, fuck yes," he moans, throwing his head back against the wall and bucking his hips towards Beau's.

"Bend over in front of the mirror," he breaths, and he sounds different. It's not his usual self, it's like he's overcome with lust, and fuck, Elliott loves it. He loves that he is obsessed with him and only him right now. That he's the only thing in the world that he cares about right now and it feels fucking amazing.

He does as he's told, and goes a step further by getting his jeans and boxers down. He looks in the mirror and sees Beau pull his own cock out and, hell, he's even brought condoms to the place. He's sliding it on, and Elliott idly jerks on his cock while he watches. He spits on his hand and presses two fingers inside of him and he bites his lip to get used to the sting.

"Keep touching yourself, baby, it'll feel better," he coos, and of course he's right because within a minute he has him pushing back on his fingers and begging for more. 

"I want you, Beau. I want your cock inside of me, fucking please," he begs, and he doesn't have to say anything else before he's sliding into him and hitting that spot that makes him see stars.

He grabs his arms and tugs his wrists behind his back, pulling his body up so that he can see himself in the mirror while he's getting fucked and it feels like heaven. His hair is in his face and there's a thin layer of sweat covering his exposed skin, and it looks so fucking good.

"That's it, watch yourself being fucked, baby," he whispers, biting down on the irritated skin and fucking him harder. His cock is leaking, begging for touch, but it's not time yet. 

"Fuck, oh fuck, Beau..."

He pulls his arms back tighter.

"Tell me you're mine," he growls into his ear. Fucking hell - he's always been his.

"I'm yours. I've always been yours," he moans, and Beau kisses the back of his neck. "I'll always be yours," he says, and that's it, Beau's cumming inside of him and moaning his name so loudly that he's sure someone probably heard. 

Once he lets go of his arms, Elliott instantly wraps a hand around himself and starts jerking off. Beau pulls out of him and gets on his knees, and holy fuck, he looks so good looking up like that. He kisses his cock only once, and that alone makes him cum, and he shoots off on the floor, trying his best not to get any on him.

"Shit," he laughs, looking around at the mess they've made.

"It won't be hard to clean up," he replies, and he's right - it's not. Once they've finished up, and as he is unlocking the door to go back out to the celebration (a lot more satisfied than he had been earlier), he grabs his arm.

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"I, uh," he says, putting a hand on the back of his neck and - is he nervous? Because that's totally the vibe Elliott's getting right now and he is never nervous. Especially in front of him.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, I just, wanted-"

"Hey! Unlock this door - I need to pee, dammit!" Eric's annoying fucking voice sounds through the door and Elliott doesn't think he's ever wanted to punch someone in the face more than he does at this moment.

"Hold the fuck on!" he shouts back and he's met with a bitchy ass grunt. "Go to the woman's bathroom!"

"I can't go in there!"

"Go outside, then!"

"I'll be arrested for public indecency!"

"Your face is public indecency!" Elliott shouts, and if he wasn't so pissed at him right now he would've totally laughed his ass off at his own joke.

"It's fine," Beau says after their moment of bickering. He reaches for the door, unlocks it, and it swings open (almost hitting Elliott in the face, Eric better be fucking glad it didn't because if it had he might not be leaving the bathroom without an injury). 

He stands there, hoping that Beau will tell him what he wanted to earlier after Eric finishes, but Beau's already walking out the door.

"Wait!" he says, rushing up behind him. "Didn't you have something you wanted to tell me?"

"Uh, it's fine. It was nothing, really..."

"But-"

"It's okay, seriously," he replies, giving him another quick kiss on the lips before they go out in front of everyone again.

"I saw that!" Eric yells from behind them and Elliott shoots him the middle finger.

"Lucky you!" Beau yells back, before turning around and running towards him.

"Woah, what the fuck!" Eric screams, before Beau is attempting to kiss him too - and he bats him away, running ahead of them back to the party.

"Smooth recovery," he laughs once Beau catches up with him again.

***

The Dallas show is fucking hot. It's also amazing too, because the crowd is going fucking nuts. Elliott's not sure he would even go in it, if he's completely honest with himself. He loves seeing them, though, and he's in a great mood during the whole thing. During Guys Like You Make Us Look Bad, he's really having the time of his life - the notes are coming off from memory and he's not even having to try - he's just hitting every one of them just like that.

He sees Beau over in the corner of his eye and he expects him to do something - he's not sure why but he can just sense that he's in the mood to. But he doesn't, actually, it's Craig that happens to grab his ass right after the song ends and, okay, he just laughs it off. But when he looks over at Beau, it doesn't look like he noticed anything, but he definitely doesn't have a grin on his face. 

Later on during the set, though, he gets behind Elliott and whispers 'my bitch' in his ear before slapping his ass.

Yeah, he's pretty sure he saw Craig now. And he's also sure that he's going to want to fool around after the set - and that's more than okay with him. In fact, if Beau doesn't initiate it, then Elliott is sure as fuck going to because he's horny as hell now.

Sure enough, Beau is already pushing up against him once they get off set, right once they are out of sight of the crowd. The rest of the band doesn't care, though, they all rush off to their bus, but the both of them stay behind.

"Fuck Craig. He better not try to pull some shit like that again, or he's going to regret it," he growls, shoving his hand up Elliott's shirt and dragging it along his chest and then down his hipbones, into forbidden territory. He wiggles his hand into the front of the jeans and grabs his cock through his boxers and, holy fuck, it feels so good.

They're both sweaty as hell and under any other circumstances he wouldn't even consider getting it on with anyone - but it's Beau and he wants him and he can't wait. 

"Oh, fuck," he moans, unbuttoning his jeans so that Beau's hand has a little more room to move. Beau takes the opportunity and takes the boxers down enough to where his cock is free and, shit, they should not be doing this right here. It's way too out in the open, and they're so likely to get caught at any second. But he can't find the words to say to tell Beau to stop.

"I want you to cum for me, baby. Right here, right now," he says, resting his forehead against his. "Cum all over my hand. Baby, I want you to." 

He's struggling to keep his legs up at this point, and he's not sure how long he can last like this. He's pretty sure he can hear Lynn calling Beau's name, too, and he's scared. He's scared and turned on at the same time and, fuck, he just slid his fingers over the tip of his cock and he has to bite his lip not to moan aloud. Sex right after coming off stage was always so good because the adrenaline was still flowing strong and there was nothing more important than getting off at the moment.

"Cum, now," he commands, and he squeezes the head and twists his hand and fucking hell, that's it and Elliott's spilling out all over his hand just like he asked him to; and he's moaning the whole time. 

Right after he finishes, Beau puts his clothes back on as quickly as possible and then Lynn runs up right beside them.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you. Ready to go biking? Wait, why aren't you changed yet?"

"I was busy, sorry. See you later, Elliott," he smiles and, wow, he cannot believe how lucky they were not to have had her walk up on them. 

Also, he needs to remember how fun it is to be told when to cum - he'll tell Beau he likes it later.

***

Elliott should be happy. No, he should be more than happy - he should be overjoyed. He's been fucking around with Beau way more than he's gotten to on any tour they've been on.

But he's not.

He's not sad either, no, it's just that there's something inside him that keeps pulling his mood down. Something that's tugging at his heart and won't stop. 

He likes Beau. He really, really does, and it's a lot more than friends like each other. It's more than best friends, too, a lot more. And their relationship really doesn't feel like friends with benefits. Not now. Maybe it was at one point - but now... Now that things have happened and there hasn't even been a day on the tour where they didn't find the time to kiss each other. And now that he suspects that Beau actually said he loved him and now that he's left wondering what exactly he was going to tell him the other night before Eric rudely interrupted.

Does Beau feel the same?

Because if he does - that's a problem.

A huge fucking problem.

Beau is married. He's married, and totally taken by her. He still Skypes with her every night - that hasn't changed. And he still hears him talking to her on the phone everyday and it's so obvious that he loves her to death.

But, Elliott loves him. Fuck, he knows he does. He knows he shouldn't but he does. And it's making his life ten times harder than it should be. He wishes he didn't feel like this, because it would make things a hell of a lot easier on the both of them, but he can't help that he fell in love.

He really needs to talk to him about it, and he knows that. He just - doesn't want to. He's scared of the reaction he's going to get. Will he cut off any interaction that they have? Would he get mad at him? Would he yell? Fuck, he doesn't even want to think about it anymore, but he can't stop thinking about it.

He needs to talk to him - now.

They're all sitting on their bus, cooling down from the horrible summer heat, when he decides he'll text Beau and ask to talk to him in private because he doesn't want the rest of the band to know that they're talking.

Beau's sitting by Eric, messing with his phone, when he gets the text. He looks over at him and nods, and then they both make their way to the back room and shut the door.

"Are you okay?" 

"No," he replies, because he's decided to be completely and totally honest right now. And of course he's not okay - he's in love with his best friend. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, and he's concerned. He puts his hand on his shoulder and that alone sends a shock wave of pain through his heart - because he knows that in a minute he might not want to ever touch him again and that hurts like hell.

"I, I think... I'm... I think, no, I know I like you."

Beau laughs.

"I know that. I like you too-"

"More than a friend."

Silence.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything-" he starts, but he's cut off by Beau's lips on his, and he's kissing him hard. Whether it was because he loved him back or because he just wanted him to shut up, he doesn't know, but he's not about to stop him.

"I love you too," he says, looking straight at him, and, oh fuck, Beau's crying. He starts crying too, and it's so fucking weird. It's such a relief to have gotten it off his chest and not have the worst happen afterwards. 

They're not kissing now, they're just looking into each other's eyes and crying. It's a mixture of emotions for Elliott, he doesn't know how Beau feels, but he's freaking out. 

"So, now what? What the hell do we do? How-"

"Lights knows," he says, wiping underneath his eyes with the back of his hand. 

"She knows that you - that we-"

"Yeah. She's known since day one... I mean, I've never kept anything from her."

"But, how does she feel about this-"

"She likes you. She really does, and she's told me she's okay with the way I feel about you. I made sure she was before I married her, I just, she-"

"You're married," he says, and it stings, but Beau doesn't seem phased.

"I know."

"And she's okay with us? With - this? Kissing and fucking, and - the feelings?"

"Every bit."

"But, why?"

"I did say she was perfect, didn't I? The only question is how you feel about her."

"I, I like her, Beau. I really do, but-"

"You don't want to share," Beau says, and yeah, that's it. He doesn't. He really just wishes that he had Beau to himself and that, maybe, fuck, they could get married one day. It's stupid, he knows it is, but he isn't sure how to feel right now. He's been so called "sharing" Beau for a while now, why does it matter so much now?

"No."

"I can't do anything about that."

"So you aren't leaving her for me," he says, and then Beau shakes his head no.

"I love her too."

"Well, you need to make up your damn mind on who you love more," he says before leaving the room with tears in his eyes and a heavy heart that hurts worse than it ever has in his life.


	5. 2.0 / What's Left of Me

They haven't said a word to each other since the fight.

Well, at least Elliott doesn't think that they have. If they had, it was only a couple of words and it had to have been completely necessary. There had certainty not been any physical contact, that much he knows for damn sure.

What he isn't sure about is how long the ignoring is going to last. He sure as hell isn't going to be the one to break it. In his opinion, Beau is being selfish. He wants both Lights and Elliott to himself, and that is just - wrong. Is he not enough for him? He sure as hell tried to be, but apparently, Lights is still better and will always be.

Speaking of Lights, the past couple of days Beau had been speaking to her a lot more than usual. Maybe it's because he isn't busy spending time with Elliott, hell, he doesn't know, but it is making him upset either way. Every time he walks by his bunk he can hear him on the phone with her, and it makes him nauseous every time.

***

The first set that Beau ignores him completely through is in Nashville. He had wondered if Beau was going to come over and fuck with him just to piss him off even more, but he doesn't.

And it kind of hurts his feelings.

Okay, it really hurts his feelings, but he isn't going to say anything. He hadn't realized how much the stupid touches and shit during the sets meant to him until it was gone. 

And it goes on for a solid three shows. 

Beau's performance is the same, he's still climbing up the sides of the stage, still getting the crowd to go crazy for them and still always has a smile on his face.

He just doesn't go near Elliott.

He finds himself missing Beau's silly teasing, and he's going insane. It takes all he has not to scream at him after their show in St. Petersburg, but somehow stops himself when he sees him joking around with Eric like nothing was wrong. 

Everything is wrong.

It's not until their set in West Palm Beach (which also, coincidentally, is on the Fourth of July, but that doesn't matter) that Beau seems to give in on the ignoring competition.

Elliott has just started playing the intro riff to 2.0 / What's Left of Me when he sees Beau stride over towards him and his heart skips a beat. Lately, he hasn't even come near him during the last three sets, so he's freaking out now that he's actually near him. He hates to admit it, but he wants him there.

He's still mad, but there's a part of him that could never say no to Beau. 

During the part where Jared's busy screaming and Beau is free to do as he pleases, he comes up behind Elliott and stands beside him. He's having a hard time concentrating, but thankfully he's played this song enough to where he could play it no matter how many distractions he has (and even if that distraction is contact with Beau).

So he's just standing there right beside him for a bit, and then he starts gazing at him. That gaze that Elliott's missed for three solid days; that look of lust and love that he hadn't realized that he adored so much. Beau pulls his hair and gets his neck to where he can bite it and kiss it and-

Fuck.

He's doing something that he's never, ever done in front of anyone, and god damn it, it feels so fucking amazing. Elliott's cock twitches at the feeling and he has to will his fingers to still keep moving. 

He bites down hard before he has to start singing his verse, and Elliott instantly misses the contact. He's angry that he took advantage of him when he couldn't retaliate, but glad at the same time. That little part of him that wanted Beau to take control and get what he wanted was left wanting more. He starts thinking about how he wants him to make him stop playing his guitar and get down on his knees for him in front of the crowd-

Oh, fuck, he has to stop thinking about it. He has a major hard on now, and it won't be long before he's playing a not so easy riff.

Beau doesn't stay on the other side of the stage long; his lips are back on Elliott's skin and he's giving him soft and sweet kisses now. Elliott's fingers are still moving from memory (thank God), and he's so, so into it. He's thankful Beau (or anyone else for that matter) can't hear him when he moans aloud, and right after he catches himself he moves away, jumping off the platform. He's crossing the stage to switch places with Eric when Beau grabs his arm and yanks him back, kissing him on the lips this time. Elliott only misses a couple of seconds of his part, and is able to continue right where he left off as he pulls away from him.

Then they get to the slower part of the song and Elliott gets lost in it. He doesn't even move away when Beau comes over and buries his face in his neck and sings. The clouds move over the sun and it gets to be that dark overcast lighting and the wind starts blowing, and it's almost perfect. Too perfect.

"Breathe you in and it's all over now..."

He has his eyes closed when he puts his hand on the other side of Elliott's neck and pulls him closer.

"With my arms open..."

Elliott can't help that he starts crying. His hair is soaked and his fingers are starting to slip on the neck of the guitar, but he's in love with this feeling. He fucking loves him, but he's struggling with what he really wants. Hell, all he wants is Beau to himself, but he's starting to think that he'll share if he has to. 

Anything is better than not having him at all.

"Breathe you in... I'll breathe, you in... Breathe you in... I'll breathe you in!"

He kisses his neck again and then jumps across the stage before he can decide how to react. 

He was going to kiss him back.

He needs to kiss him back. 

As Beau and Jared are taking turns screaming the last verse, Elliott is walking over to center stage where Beau is, and after the song is over he's about to do it. 

But Eric crosses his path before he can and it makes him snap the hell out of it before he fucks everything up.

***

He's pissed when he gets off stage. He's had the whole rest of the set to think over what Beau has done, and he's decided he's not happy with it. He's taking advantage of him simply because he can.

He can go fuck himself for all Elliott cares.

He makes his way to the bus to change out of his sweaty clothes, and is definitely thankful when he sees that he's the only one heading there.

Some alone time could really do him some good right now.

He goes to his bunk and grabs out his change of clothes, and then to the back room to be able to comfortably change without hitting his elbows on the other bunks or standing in the filthy bathroom. 

Only his boxers are on when he hears the door to the bus open and then slam.

He knows damn well who it is, and he starts praying that he won't come to where he is - but he's not so lucky.

The door swings open just as he slides his shorts on.

"Get out-" he starts, but Beau pushes him back onto the bed and pins him there. 

"I'm not going anywhere," he says, lowly. 

Elliott isn't in the mood for this. So he pushes him off and stands up, but he's pushed back down instantly and his wrists are pinned above his head.

"We can either do this the easy way," Beau growls, messing with something above Elliott and fuck, there are ropes attached to the wall by some type of weird pully system and he uses it to wrap around Elliott's wrists. "or the hard way. Your choice, baby."

"Neither way! Get these off of me! What the fuck is this?" he yells, yanking as hard as he can at the restraints. But they're done too well, and they don't give way at all. "How long have you been planning to do this?" he screams, kicking his legs in attempt to hurt Beau, or at least push him away. 

"A while now," he replies, reaching for Elliott's zipper.

"Get your filthy hands off of me you two timing-"

Beau grabs Elliott's face and glares at him. 

"Shut up."

"No!"

Slap.

The sting is ten times worse than what the last time he had done it.

"Don't you dare hit me like that!" he screams, kicking his legs at him again, but still unable to hit him.

Beau ignores him and his hands go back to work, undoing his shorts and pulling them off along with his boxers. 

"Your cock is hard, baby," he notes with a smirk, before spitting on his palm and wrapping his hand it and moving ever so slowly.

It feels like heaven, having the contact with him again after so long without having any. Beau squeezes him and moves his hand slow, the teasing becoming more agonizing by the second. But Elliott's still not happy with him. If he wants him like this it has to be him and only- fuck.

"Oh, Beau!" he practically screams, throwing his head back and yanking hard at the restraints. He wants some control over the situation - just so he doesn't feel so helpless, but he doesn't see him letting up anytime soon.

"Yeah, that's it, you want me to fuck you?"

"No," he replies angrily. It's weird having two emotions so strongly conflicting each other. 

"I'll take that as a yes," he says, taking his own clothes off. Elliott wants his hand back on his cock, honestly. He wants that touch - that feeling again. It's more than sex to him. And, fuck, he knows it sounds stupid, but it is. 

And maybe that's why he really can't do it right now. He needs to know Beau is devoted.

He won't be used again; restraints be dammed.

"Spread your legs," he commands. He doesn't move at all.

"Get away from me, Beau. Why don't you just call up your wife and have phone sex?"

He hits him on his thigh this time with so much force it probably bruises on contact. 

"Fuck!" Elliott yells, tugging at the restraints and hoping that he could get loose so that he could punch him in the god damn face. 

It's what he deserved right now. 

"I said, spread your legs," he growls, as he does it himself and lines his cock up with his entrance. He squirts some lubricant on himself and rubs it in before pushing in, and fuck, it hurts. 

"Stop it! Get off of me!" he shouts, but he's not making much movement. Fuck, Beau has just hit that spot and he's seeing stars in his vision now. 

Beau wraps a hand around Elliott's neck and squeezes oh so lightly. 

"You're going to take it, Elliott. I'm going to fuck you until I cum, and you're not gonna make another noise."

His airway is constricted and it hurts. It's uncomfortable, but when Beau puts his other hand on his dick it feels fucking amazing. Beau is fucking him hard now, harder than he usually does. He wants more, he wants to be used like this forever, emotions be damned.

"Choke me harder," he finds himself begging after a bit of just teasing. Beau rocks his hips into him, and then tightens his grip. His vision is going blurry now, and oh fuck, he can feel his orgasm building up within his lower half. 

He wants to wrap his arms around Beau's waist and hold tight, be he can't. His wrists are pulling hard on the rope as he orgams, gasping out 'I love you', even though Beau has his hand around his neck.

It's not long before Beau's a trembling mess too, cumming hard and deep inside of him and moaning his name over and over as he kisses his lips. 

And then Beau pulls out and runs his finger tips over his neck.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he says, his voice a bit hoarse. 

Beau starts cleaning up the mess after he makes sure that he didn't hurt him at all.

"Untie my wrists."

"I'm cleaning you off first."

He brings over a towel and starts wiping off the mess on his chest.

"Stop it, I can fucking clean off myself," he cries, tears brimming at the corner of his eyes. "Is this about control? Is that what you want?"

"It's not about control. It's about love."

"Love? Love?" he screams through tears. "You call this love?"

"I wouldn't do this with anyone I didn't love!" Beau yells, throwing the towel down and climbing on top of him. "I wouldn't kiss anyone like this-"

His lips meet Elliott's and it's passionate - just like it had been on stage when Elliott hadn't gotten to retaliate. This time he does kiss back, taking in the taste of him. 

"That I didn't love. I love you, Elliott. I love every thing about you," he says, kissing down his neck and then his chest. 

"Then why can't you commit to me?" 

"Lights is going to be staying on tour in three days - maybe you could talk to her-"

"No! Just untie me and let me out of here. You got off, now let me out."

"You know what? Fine!" he yells, his features not soft anymore. He frees his wrists and stands up to hand him his clothes. "Fucking fine! If that's the way you want to be, fine. We're done."

Oh God, that hurts worse than anything he has ever felt in his life. 

"What, I-"

"You heard me! Didn't you want out? After all, the sex is over, right? Apparently it's all I care about anyways!"

"But-"

"I'm done trying to pull you back. If you don't want this, you don't want it. Do you want me, Elliott?"

He stays silent.

"I said, do you want me?" he yells, pushing him up against the wall and pressing their bodies together.

Elliott looks up at him through tears.

"Of course I do, but only you-"

"Talk to Lights when she comes. Please. Listen to her and then make your decision."

There's no reason not to, he guesses.

"Ok."

"Thank you," he replies, softly kissing his lips and rocking his hips into his.

He is already hard for him again, and Elliott can't help that he fucking loves that.

He also can't help that he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've ever wrote about the choking fetish thing, so I apologize if it's not completely accurate - I need to read mroe fanfiction and get more accustomed to it. But I felt like it really added to this chapter; especially with all of the emotions that they're both dealing with.


	6. See You on the Outside

Elliott is busy playing cards with some of his friends in The Amity Affliction when someone comes over and scares the living daylights out of him by tapping on his shoulder.

"Oh my God!" he exclaims, his cards falling out of his hands and becoming completely exposed to the rest of the players.

"Hah! Knew you had a shitty hand," Ahren exclaims, laughing his ass off, which is totally rude, but he'll ignore it for now. He instead turns around to see Lights standing behind him, covering her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Elliott, I didn't mean to scare you," she says, rubbing his shoulder. It's too close for him, especially with what events have occurred over the past couple of days, but he lets it go.

"Don't apologize, he's always a pussy," Joel laughs, reaching over for the cards that fell out of his hand. "We'll start over since we know what Elliott had."

"Can I sit with you?" Lights asks, and he really, really wants to say no. He doesn't want to even see her right now, he was having a perfectly nice time just sitting with his friends and forgetting about the whole situation with Beau.

But he's not an ass, so of course he says yes.

"Yeah," he says, pushing over the rest of the cards to Joel.

"Wanna play too?" Joel asks her.

"It's poker," Ahren adds. 

"Strip poker?" she laughs, nudging Elliott with her elbow.

"It sure as hell can be!" Joel exclaims, shuffling the cards.

"Hey is there room for one more to play?" Eric asks, walking over towards the table. "I've got thirty minutes to kill before my girl arrives."

"Yeah, why not. It's strip poker now," Ahren says with a smile.

Elliott suddenly doesn't feel like playing anymore.

"Hey, I don't feel too well, you guys go on without me," he says, standing up and grabbing his phone off the table.

"Are you okay?" Lights asks, her tone full of concern. Did she have to be so god damn nice? 

"Nah, he's fine, he's just scared of losing," Joel says, and oh, it's on. Elliott will not put up with that shit.

"Am not! Fine, fuck it, I'll stay. Who's dealing?" he snaps, sitting back down.

"I will," Joel says, passing out the cards.

***

They play for a while, and Elliott actually ends up winning most of the games. The most clothes anyone took off was just their shirt, Lights had to take hers off at one point and all the guys hollered at her. That is, all of them except Elliott. He stayed silent and kept staring at his cards.

"That was fun!" she exclaims, getting up from the table and walking with him. "Your friends are really cool dudes."

"Yeah, they're okay," he says.

"Are you okay?"

He sighs. He wonders if Beau has even told her about the situation that they were having. Should he even bring it up with her?

"I, yeah."

"You sure? You're usually a lot more lively when I'm around you."

"No, I'm not okay," he admits, stopping mid walk. She stops too and turns to face him.

"Then what's-"

"Has Beau said anything to you?"

She gives him a confused expression.

"About what?"

"Look, Beau and I... We... Have something going on."

"Yeah, I know that," she laughs, brushing her hair behind her ears. Fuck, she's so skinny and pretty and perfect - he's surprised Beau even wants him when he has her.

"And you're okay with it?" he asks, completely caught off guard with her bluntness about it.

"Yeah, I think it's sweet. I mean, it's been going on for a while, and you really mean a lot to him. I can't imagine what he would do if you ever left him."

"Left him?" he echoes.

"Well, you're basically together, right?"

"Not really... I mean, we only do stuff when we're on tour."

"And, if you want me to be honest with you, that kills him."

"What?"

"He misses you so badly when he's at home with me. He wants you to call or something but you never do. I told him that maybe you didn't feel the same way and that he should just try to forget about it. But he called me up a week or so ago and told me that you did feel the same."

"He called you about that?"

"Yeah. He was crying he was so happy."

Elliott is so shocked to hear it. He didn't think he meant that much to anyone, much less Beau.

"I didn't know that."

"And I also know that you want him to yourself and that you think I'm a problem."

Her tone doesn't seem icy, but the words still make him feel like shit. 

"I, well, you can imagine how I feel! I mean, come on. I just told him to choose, you know? And if he loves you then by all means he should be with you!"

"I like you, Elliott," she says, reaching out and holding his hand. He's not sure where she's going with this.

"I,"

"And I would be so open to having you be with Beau too. We could be one little happy family."

"Family?"

"Why not? There's room in our house."

"Are you proposing that I move in with you?" he exclaims. 

"Um, yeah? You're a sweetheart and I totally like you. We could surprise Beau tonight and tell him..."

"So, it would be like, a three person relationship."

"Yeah. I mean, I like you too, but I know you're gay, so it's cool," she laughs, hugging him instead.

Elliott is frozen in place as her arms are wrapped around him. 

"And you're completely okay with this?" he asks again, his self conscious getting the best of him.

"I've been completely okay with it for years."

He's silent.

"So, wanna try this out? I really want you and Beau to be happy," she says, backing away from him and smiling. 

"I have one question, though."

"Ask away."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you even remotely okay with letting Beau and I date or be together or whatever, even though he's your husband?"

"Because I love him. I guess you have no idea how much he really likes you. He talks about you all the time, Elliott. He has for years. I can't imagine what kind of person I would be if I told him no he couldn't be with you. And, after all, I like you too. You're a good guy, and I'm open to this. It would be totally different if it was anyone else, obviously."

"Okay. I'll, I'll try it."

"So, you want to move in with us? We have a king size bed, the perfect size for the three of us."

"Are you sure you want me living with you? I'm sure I can get annoying."

"I would love to have you. I guess this must seem weird to you since you don't know me that well, but I feel like I know you..."

"Yeah, just a little," he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"How do you want to tell him?" she exclaims, jumping up and clapping her hands together. "I was thinking, I could casually let it slip during dinner something about which side you want to sleep on or something. He will freak out!"

"Or maybe we could both come up and start kissing on him," he laughs. He means it as a joke, but after it sinks in for a second, it actually seems like a good idea.

"That's actually perfect," she says, her face lighting up. "When can we do it?"

"Um, whenever you want to, I guess-"

"After your show?" 

"Well, we have to get him alone first... I don't think it's a good idea for us to do that in front of anyone," he laughs. He's nervous as fuck, though, because holy shit - this is a big decision he's making right now. Moving in to their house? Being in a three way relationship? 

"Yeah, I totally agree."

***

Elliott is shaking all during the set. Before it starts, he almost can't tune his guitar because it's so bad, but he manages somehow. 

"Are you okay?" Beau asks, leaning in towards him as he puts on his earplugs. 

"What? Yeah, yeah," he replies, tuning the B string a bit more. He's not sure he's going to be able to play the songs right - he's distracted to say the very least.

"You're shaking."

"I'm nervous," he replies. 

"What? You're never nervous like this."

"It's - it's a big crowd."

Matt runs out onstage and the crowd starts screaming. 

"Maybe this will help calm your nerves," he says, pressing his lips to his and Elliott loses himself in it. He closes his eyes and takes him in, and it makes him feel even more anxious.

Things go smoothly at first, he's able to play the songs and jump around on stage as usual. Beau has come up to him a couple of times, once just to kiss him on the cheek and the other time to grab his ass - both times causing him to be even more shaky and his fingers to almost slip off their correct frets.

But he manages.

That is, until See You on The Outside. Beau's looking at him from the beginning of the song and he knows he's directing the song towards him - and that he's thinking of him. He comes up behind him during it and starts singing with his arms around his shoulders and that's it - Elliott loses it. He starts crying and he starts hoping to God that no one can tell. He wishes that every word Beau was singing was true and that it was just them and they could leave it all far behind.

It's too hard and all too much.

Beau doesn't notice him crying, so he assumes the crowd didn't. The moment he walks off stage he gets a text from Lights saying to bring Beau to the bus. 

He nearly throws up when he reads it.

"Be- Beau?" he chokes out. Beau is busy tickling Eric for some strange reason, and normally he would laugh at the sight.

"Stop- stop it! God damn, you know I hate being tickled!" Eric screams, trying to get away from Beau's grasp. He's able to, though, when he turns his attention to Elliott.

"What is it?"

"Can I talk to you? Tour bus?"

"Sure! I'll be back to finish this later," he tells Eric, who flips him off. 

"Everything okay?" Beau asks him as they walk there together.

No, no it's not.

"Um, yeah," he replies, opening the door. He walks in and sees Lights sitting on the couch watching TV. She jumps up and runs towards Beau and embraces him in a hug.

"Hi, babe," he says, kissing her on her forehead. "Elliott and I need to talk-"

"Actually, we all need to talk," Elliott corrects. He really feels like running out of the bus right now. 

"Oh, we do?"

"Yup," Lights answers, kissing Beau on his lips right in front of Elliott.

And, oh fuck, that's it - he can't do this. The overwhelming urge to slap her off of him almost gets the best of him, but he stops himself before he makes the situation worse. 

"Yeah, I needed to tell you both I can't do this. I'm sorry, Beau. But I guess we're through."

"What? No!" Beau exclaims.

Before he can say anything else to him, he's already outside and running. To where? He honestly doesn't know. As long as it was away from them - from the person he loved but couldn't have to himself.

He has nothing against people who could have relationships like that, but he's the kind of person that needs to know that he's the only one. He can't share, and he won't. He'd rather not be with Beau at all.

It hurts, but he thinks he'll get over it.

***

He's not sure how long he's been running around the venue when Matt catches up with him.

"Elliott!" he shouts. He slows to a complete stop and turn around to face him. He hasn't realized he's been crying the whole time until he wipes his face and realizes there's a lot more water under his eyes than there should be. 

"Holy fuck, what's wrong?" he asks, embracing him in a hug without waiting for an answer. He holds him tight and Elliott cries in his arms. He feels like his whole world is crashing down around him - will he even be able to be Beau's friend again? Will his life (and the tours he goes on) ever be the same?

He doesn't think so.

"I've fucked up. This is fucked up. I want him to myself," he sobs, getting the collar of Matt's shirt wet.

"What? Want who to yourself? What's going on?"

Elliott doesn't even think twice before spilling his guts out to him. He's too tired and too upset to give a fuck if Matt knows. He's going to know anyways sooner or later once the band breaks up or some shit because Beau and him can't get along anymore.

Oh, God.

"Beau. Beau and I-"

"Hey, it's alright, I already know," he says, rubbing his back in a really comforting way. It's weird, because usually back rubs aren't comforting in the least, but right now it feels a lot different.

Maybe it's because it's Matt.

"You know that I want a relationship and that he says I can only have that if I share him with Lights?"

"Whoa, okay, no, didn't know that," he laughs, putting both hands on his shoulders and looking him in the eyes. "Sounds to me like Beau's a greedy little bastard."

"Yeah! I just, I told him, like, if you want me you've got to commit to me, you know?"

"I totally get that. I can't imagine having to share my wife or her having to share with someone else. That's insane!"

"Yeah, I know! Especially when I don't even know Lights that well to begin with, like, what the fuck?"

"So why are you upset? Get over him. There's plenty more fish in the sea, you know... I'm pretty sure Vic has his eye on you, too."

"Vic?" he laughs, blushing a tad. (What? He's cute, okay.)

"Yeah! And then there's always Denis... I heard he totally swings that way."

"From Asking Alexandria Denis? No way, he looks straight as hell to me."

"Yeah, ask Ben," Matt says, smirking. "Wanna go out and get some drinks? I could use a beer or three."

"That's probably a good idea."

"I've got to tell the rest of the band I found you, though. We were searching like crazy."

"Do you have to? I don't want Beau bugging the shit out of me."

"Dude, they're freaking out right now. Eric was nearly pissing himself, come on. You're like, the baby of the band and they think you've gone missing."

"Am not! I'm not the baby-"

"Alright, then who is?"

"Okay, fine," Elliott laughs. "But just text Eric. He'll tell the rest of the them."

"That works."

***

The bar Matt takes him to is crowded. Elliott doesn't like it, and is anxious about it at first, but after he gets the first two shots in him that Matt dared him to take - he's feeling better.

A whole lot better, actually.

"How did you even know?" he asks Matt, poking his arm. 

"Know what?" Matt slides the bartender another twenty and in return he gets another two shots.

"About Beau and I?"

"Shit... How does anyone not know," he laughs, pushing one of the glasses towards him. "Okay, even if I hadn't caught you two having sex a million times I would still know."

"Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry you saw that," he says, thoughts of what Beau and him have done filling his mind. It's not a good thing that he's thinking about it either, because he starts getting upset again. He takes the shot Matt gave to him down in one swift drink and moves it to be refilled.

"Nah, I've gotten used to it over the years. But that's not even what makes it the most obvious. It's the way you look at each other, especially the way he looks at you-"

"I don't think I want to talk about him anymore. Can we talk about something else?"

Another drink is set down in front of Elliott and he takes it down his throat as soon as he notices it.

"Be careful about the amount you're having, dude. You remember what happened on your twenty first, don't you?"

"How could I forget," he snapped. "Those pictures still are on the Internet of me puking."

How could he forget? That was the birthday that one of his "friends" (they're not friends anymore) had taken a picture of him while he puked in some random bathroom and posted it on Facebook.

"Wait! Speaking of your birthday that year - I never told you..."

Matt gets a far away look in his eyes and rubs his chin. What the hell could he be talking about?

"Never told me what?" he asks, not sure if he should be excited or scared. 

"You probably don't want to hear it right now, though."

"There's nothing that could make me more upset than I am now. Might as well tell me."

"Well, okay. Beau, um, you - you kissed Beau. It was just Jared and I in there with you, so no one else saw-"

"Wait, how in the world did that happen?"

"Uh, well - we were talking about how we all would've liked to get laid that night. Like, Beau was messing around and saying some shit about how he doesn't think you're ever going to have sex and then you were like 'wanna bet'? And he was like yea and then you kissed him."

"Holy shit. He never told me about that-"

"And then he kissed you back and Jared and I were like holy shit, right? It was so fucking awkward, dude, you have no idea. I didn't know whether to laugh or leave the room."

"Then what happened?" he asks, unable to stop himself from asking. 

"Well, Beau told us to leave the room."

"What?"

"Yeah. So, I don't know what happened. All I know is that the next time I saw you both you were smiling and laughing together like usual."

"Shit..."

"Yeah, so there's that."

"Fuck, I miss him already," he says, putting his head in his hands. "I hate Lights! I fucking hate her!"

"Shit, dude, it's okay-"

"No, it's not! If what you're telling me is true, then that means he liked me before she was ever in the god damn picture!!!"

"Wait, that's true - I never thought about that-"

"That's it, I'm calling him," he says, pulling his phone out.

"Dude, I dunno if that's a good idea-"

"Why, because I'm drunk?"

"Well, yeah, that, and-"

Whatever he was going to say, it doesn't matter because Elliott's already dialing his number. It rings once, twice, and then he answers.

"Elliott?"

"You fucking loved me first!" he shouts, earning himself several looks from people within the bar. Matt grabs his arm and pulls him aside in the bar.

"What are you talking about?" 

"Twenty-second birthday-"

"Twenty-first," Matt corrects.

"On my twenty-first birthday we kissed," he says.

Beau is silent.

"So you remember! So you knew I liked you before Lights was even in the picture-"

"You were drunk as hell, Elliott. That was one time. One! And what am I supposed to tell you? Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize your undying love for me that one time? Because if that's what you want to hear - fine. I'm sorry."

Elliott isn't really sure what he had hoped to gain from the phone call. He realizes at this point that it's actually doing him no good at all. 

Maybe he just wanted to talk to Beau. Maybe he just needed to hear his voice and he was going insane just thinking about the possibility that they will never be the same again.

"Elliott?" Beau says, as if just making sure he's still on the line.

"I'm here."

"What do you want me to say? What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know," he cries, handing the phone to Matt and running out of the bar. He tries to compose himself outside, breathing the cool air into his lungs and letting it stay there, letting the cold flow through his bones. But the only thing it's doing is making him feel even more alone. 

Matt walks out some time later and leans on the building.

"He's a mess too," he says. 

"I'm sure," he replies, coldly. 

"Listen, whatever happens between you two, promise me one thing."

"What?" 

"You won't leave the band. Promise me that, Elliott."

He hasn't even considered that option, but he already knows he doesn't like it. He can't imagine being without them.

"Never. Not unless Beau kicks me out," he says.

The sad thing is, he sort of wonders if that's going to happen.


	7. Up In Flames

Elliott wakes up with the worst hangover of his life. He flips over in his bunk, kicks off the sheets, and tries to fall asleep again. He's almost at the brink of the uncomfortable hangover sleep, but he's awoken by Lights' high pitched laughter resonating from the kitchen. 

He sighs as he pulls the sheets over his head. He's not in the mood to deal with any drama, not today, not now. Instead he gets on his phone and starts texting Matt.

**me: u awake?  
Matt: yeah because of the hyena laugh what's up  
me: i can't go back to sleep... i feel like shit dude  
Matt: I knew you would you went pretty damn hard last night   
me: :/  
Matt: wanna go grab some breakfast? i'm thinking iHop   
me: that sounds good - is there one within walking distance?  
Matt: yeah   
me: let's go then **

He rolls out of his bunk and tries to get ready as subtly as he can - without drawing any unwanted attention from Beau and the wife - but as soon as he's walking out the door he's shouted at.

"Wait for me!" Eric screams, hauling his ass out the door and almost knocking Elliott down in the process. 

"Ooh! Are we going to iHop?" Beau exclaims. Elliott suddenly doesn't feel very hungry anymore...

"Um, not you," Matt says, grabbing his wallet. "I need a break from you."

"What? But-"

"You don't take us every time you go to Starbucks, dude. Besides, don't you want some alone time with your, oh so wonderful, wife?"

And oh, wow, Elliott didn't realize that Matt was on his side like this. Matt is seriously ranking high in the friendship status right now.

"Um," Beau starts, but Lights interrupts him.

"Yeah! Why don't we go eat somewhere alone together?"

Beau's face falls.

"Yeah, okay," he says, waving at Matt. When Elliott catches his gaze, they both look away quickly.

Elliott doesn't know how Beau feels, but he knows he feels pretty fucking shitty.

***

It's painfully awkward for the last two days Lights is on tour with them, but they go by quickly. Elliott finds himself spending a lot more time with Matt, and he realizes that he actually has a lot more in common with him than he had ever thought. They get along really well, and it helps take his mind off of Beau. 

It's almost unnerving how easy it is to forget about him while he's spending time around Matt. 

But the day Lights leaves, that all ends. The moment Beau walks onto the bus after dropping her off at the airport, Elliott feels the happiness leave his body completely. He feels like he's about to have to actually face his problems now instead of just ignore them and he doesn't like that idea at all.

"And Matt wins again!" Matt screams, throwing his arms in the hair and then nudging Elliott's leg. "Oh, third place! Daisy fucking beat your skinny ass!"

"Yeah," he replies, willing himself to forget about Beau's presence. He's not so lucky, though, because he sits down on the other side of him and grabs a Wii remote off the table in front of them. 

"Add me on! I'm ready to kick Elliott's ass too!"

He has to bite his tongue not to say something along the lines of 'haven't you hurt me enough'.

An hour into playing the game with him, though, he's laughing with him so hard that he's crying. He hasn't felt so alive in weeks, and he's pretty much forgotten about Lights at the moment. 

He's having such a good time that he doesn't even notice when Matt leaves them alone on the bus. 

"You cheated!" he laughs, throwing his remote on the floor. "You fucking cheated!"

"What? Did not!" Beau retorts, laughing too.

"You tickled my side just as I was making that sharp damn turn where everyone fucking falls on Rainbow Road!"

"But I had the sudden urge to touch you, I can't help that it came over me during the middle of a race!"

"Oh, please! You're a fucking liar!"

Beau sets his remote aside and there's a brief moment where they're just sitting there before he pulls him onto his lap.

"And I want to touch you some more," he says, but before he can take any action, Elliott's already leaning down and kissing him. Hard and needy, it's sloppy but he doesn't give a fuck. He wants his taste again, he needs it. Three days is long enough without his touch. He puts his hands on both sides of Beau's face and their tongues dance together, teeth clash, and he's moaning into it like a cheap whore. Beau's rocking his hips into him, and fuck, he's already so hard, Elliott can tell. He wants him. He wants to be fucked, and used, and told that he's loved.

Then an idea crosses his mind that makes him rethink the whole situation - All he needs to do is make Beau love him more than he loves Lights.

Fuck, it was the best idea he thinks he's ever had, and he decides to start now. What better time than during sex? After all, it was one of the best things about their relationship, he had to be honest. Who else could make him horny no matter what?

No one.

Beau's hand is gliding up the back of his shirt, and he decides to take it off for him. He's going to be so, so fucking good for him now.

He leans back slightly and takes the shirt off, throwing it across the room.

"Tell me what you want," he whispers, leaning forward and kissing on his neck. 

"Uh, fuck," he replies, pushing him down onto himself with his hands on his hips. "I want you."

"How do you want me, babe? On my knees, in between your legs, sucking your hard cock?"

"Fuck, yes, that sounds good," he stutters, and he can tell he's making his head spin already...

Fuck, his head is spinning too, but he's got to win him over so he has to be on his feet and impress him.

He gets off his lap and drops down to the floor (the uncomfortable as hell carpet that they have on the bus is not doing his knees any favors, but he's glad he still has his shorts on at least), and his hands go for the zipper. 

Beau scoots himself closer to the edge, allowing him to get his jeans and boxers pulled down far enough. He leans forward and licks the head - fuck - Beau moans and his hands instantly go for Elliott's hair and he's pulling. He yanks him down and forces his cock in, and he moans around the length. He looks up at him while he does it, too, knowing that he loves it.

Beau's so lost in it, though, that he barely even has his eyes open. He can tell he's trying to watch him, though. He lets his grip on his hair soften a little, and Elliott pulls back and wraps a hand around his cock and jerks it while he looks up at him with big eyes.

"I love the taste of your cock, baby," he coos, kissing the head once and then licking the pre-cum off that's on the tip. 

"Jesus Christ, Elliott," he moans, thrusting his hips forward involuntarily. Elliott keeps stroking his cock, and starts kissing the tops of his thighs, placing them everywhere he wanted.

"Fuck, cum for me. Let me swallow you down..." he says, wrapping his lips around the head and slowly taking him down again.

"You're so beautiful, oh, shit..." he moans.

Elliott's heart skips a beat at the word, and he takes him further down his throat. He wants to make him feel so good that he can never say no to him. He wants to show him what exactly he'll be missing out on if he doesn't choose to be with him and only him. 

"Fuck, I'm close, so fucking close," he moans, running his fingers through his hair. He pulls off of him and sticks his tongue out, letting it rest underneath Beau's cock. He moves it back and forth only once and then he's shooting cum into his mouth.

"Elliott, oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck," he moans, his fingers clinching his blond stands (it hurts a little, but he loves it).

He keeps his mouth open until he's sure he's finished and then shows him all that's inside before swallowing and opening his empty mouth and showing him.

"Fuck, that was the best blowjob I've ever had," he says, breathing hard and staring down at him.

Elliott smiles at that as he helps him get his clothes back on, and sits down beside him again. 

"Well, I try," he laughs, kissing his cheek. "Ready for another round?" he asks, handing a remote to Beau.

"Aw, that's not fair, my brain is a mess now. You expect me to be able to play 100%?"

"Hey, you're the one that got off, I'm still horny as fuck. And I'm not even the one whining like a little bitch."

"Want me to help you cum-"

"Nope. I wanna beat your ass in Mario Kart."

***

On their next day off on tour, the five of them decide to spend the day at Six Flags. Elliott wakes up early that morning to pack everything and make sure he's ready, and he's busy checking off the list he wrote the night before when Matt walks into the kitchen half awake.

"What are you doing awake at six in the morning?" he mumbles, opening up the fridge and grabbing a bottle of ketchup.

"Um, dude?" he says, "You just grabbed ketchup out of the fridge."

"Shit, thanks. I was about to drink that," he laughs, putting it back and instead grabbing water. "So, why are you up?"

"I'm too excited," he replies. He checks off a couple more items on the list and smiles at him.

"For Six Flags?"

"Yeah."

"You seem to be, better. You know, you and Beau," he says, putting the bottle back in the fridge and then leaning on it.

"Yeah, actually," he beams. "I have a new plan I'm trying out."

"Well, do share. I'm staying up now anyways."

"I'm going to make him like me more than he likes her."

"That sounds like a good plan. So, I should try to make sure to always knock before coming on the bus?"

He blushes. 

"Yeah... That might be a good idea."

"Okay. Well, I'm glad things are going better - to be honest it makes everything really tense when you two aren't getting along."

***

"Let's go on the monster puke one!" Beau exclaims, referring to which roller coaster they should ride first. Elliott isn't really feeling the whole 'monster puke' thing right now - he's too busy staring at Beau's crotch.

Which, he honestly shouldn't be doing, because he is so about to trip over himself and he really doesn't like embarrassing himself out in public. But he's too horny and excited not to, so he goes on staring anyways and brainstorming different ways that he could possibly have sex with him while they're there. That's another reason why he doesn't want to ride the 'monster puke' ride, he can't really suck his dick while he's strapped down.

"I'm not feeling that one-"

"Yeah!" Matt and Jared cheer in unison, and Elliott figures he doesn't really have a choice at this point. So he goes along with it for the first ride.

They ride several more like that, ones where it makes him feel dizzy and high with fear - and it's actually really fun. He sits with Beau each time (or rather, Beau sits with him - he always sits down first just to see if he wants to be by him and he obviously does), and it's fun. After a while they decide to split up, and obviously Beau and Elliott stick together.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" Beau muses as they walk through the crowd of people. And, yeah, Elliott really does. It's after twelve and he hasn't eaten a thing, he hadn't even realized he was hungry until he says something.

"Yeah! What do you want?"

"Hm, ice cream? I'm thinking ice cream."

"Ice cream?" he repeats, in disbelief. "Are you sure? Why don't we have lunch first-"

"Why do lunch when we're adults and we can do what we want?" he asks, showing off that childish charm that Elliott loves so fucking much.

"Alright, well, let's race there!" he shouts, darting ahead of Beau and navigating through the maze of people in front of him. 

"Come back here!" he shouts from behind him. 

Weave back, turn left, don't hit the girl with the stroller - Elliott's doing pretty well in his opinion. He's almost to the long line to the ice cream stand when Beau grabs his arm and yanks him back into a kiss. He kisses him back, all the while laughing.

"I would've won if you didn't have a head start," he says, kissing his lips once more before turning his attention to the menu. "Hm, which do you want? I'm thinking a plain vanilla cone..."

Elliott can't stop staring at him. There's something about him that pulls him in and just won't let go. Maybe it's that stupid huge smile he has on his face, or the way he's swaying back and forth in excitement just for ice cream. 

His heart melts at the sight, and aches to have him to himself forever.

"You order for me. Surprise me," he says.

***

He ends up getting an ice cream pop type thing that's covered in chocolate, and wow, he's going to have to let Beau order for him everywhere from now on. He wouldn't have even thought to try it himself, if he was honest.

"Like it?" Beau asks as they casually walk together through the crowded fair, eating their ice creams before they melt.

"Like it? I love it," he replies, taking another bite. 

Beau reaches over subtly and grabs his free hand. Their fingers intertwine automatically, and a smile creeps up on Elliott's face.

He never wants this tour to end.

***

Elliott does end up finding a way to have sex with him while they're there (he blows him in one of the bathroom stalls - hey, he knows it's messy but Beau seemed to really like it), and he's proud of himself. Beau hasn't left him alone since Lights left, and he's pretty sure his plan is working.

That or beau's just trying to get as much of him as he can before the tour is over and everything goes back to the shitty way it is.

But he's going to ignore that thought for now. For now, he's going to pretend that Beau isn't even married.

***

They're in the middle of playing Up In Flames in Toronto when Beau starts climbing up the side of the stage. Elliott gives Eric that look of 'oh fuck, he's doing something seriously stupid again and he's going to get hurt this time', and Eric returns the glance. He knows he can't do anything to stop him, though. Once Beau starts climbing shit he doesn't stop until their set is over. So he keeps playing, staring out at the crowd to see their reaction to whatever is going on with him.

He looks away for a moment (just long enough to move where his fingers are placed) and then the looks on the faces of the crowd are one of complete shock. His heart sinks and he stops playing and looks back to see Beau on his back beside Jared. He runs over and, fuck, Beau's crying.

"Beau!" he says, hovering over him (practically shoving Jared out of the way), and gently pushing his hair out of his face. "What got hurt?"

"Arm," he cries, and, oh, that's when he notices he's holding his right arm tight across his chest. Elliott runs his fingers over it gently.

"Move!" a medic screams. His first instinct is to shout back, but he realizes that would be totally irrational so he moves. He watches helplessly as they tend to him, lifting his arm and Beau cringing in pain.

"Stop!" Beau shouts as they start helping him off stage. "We're not done here!" 

"The hell we are," Matt snaps. "For all we know you've broken your arm-"

"I'm not leaving them hanging!" he shouts back, striding past him back center stage. Elliott looks over at Matt, then at Beau, and walks back onstage beside him.

Throughout the rest of the set, Beau stays on the ground - and he doesn't let it end without kissing Elliott on the cheek and whispering in his ear about how sexy he looks.

***

Beau is lying on the couch looking miserable while staring at the TV. Elliott sits down beside him and grabs the remote off the coffee table.

"What do you want to watch?" he asks, immediately changing it off the commercial that's playing. 

"Anything that can take my mind off the fact that I can't play Mario Kart or eat cereal," he says, turning over to lie on his back instead of his side. 

That's when he gets a brilliant idea.

He puts it on ESPN and sets the remote aside. Before Beau has a chance to complain about what he's left it on, Elliott puts a hand on his crotch. 

"Oh," Beau mumbles, looking at his hand.

"How would you like me to get you off?" Elliott purrs, crawling off of the couch and kneeling on the floor beside him.

"Eric is in the shower," he points out. It doesn't exactly sound like a no, so he keeps going. He unzips his shorts and pulls them down, palming his flaccid member through the thin boxers.

"So? Let him see how much I love your cock."

He gets harder at the words and Elliott decides to take his boxers down and really stroke the skin. 

"He's been in there for a while already, Elliott," he chokes out. 

"I'm your little slut, baby. I don't care who sees me play with your dick," he says, stroking him, letting his pre-cum soak his hand and allowing it to glide oh so easily over him. Harder and harder, the slicker everything became and the more Beau was moaning. It's interesting, actually, him not doing anything with his hands. Elliott can only imagine how badly he wants to do something - grab his wrist, tell him what to do, but he can't, at least not without being in quite a bit of pain.

"Fuck..." he says under his breath. Elliott's hand moves faster, making Beau shake underneath him. 

The shower water turns off.

"Elliott, he's done, fuck," he whimpers. His finger tips brush the underside of the head, back and forth quickly and then back around the shaft. He puts his left hand at his balls and touches so lightly. 

"I don't care," he replies, glancing up so he meets Beau's gaze. "All I care about is you..."

"He's going to catch- oh Jesus, fuck," he moans quietly.

He leans down and wraps his lips around his cock, squeezes the shaft, left hand massages his balls, all causing Beau to moan a little too loudly. 

The bathroom door squeaks open.

Elliott takes his mouth off his dick and pulls his clothes back on as quickly as possible. It's kind of hard to get the shorts to zip because Beau's so hard, but he manages (he's pretty sure it hurt, too, because Beau whimpers when he does).

"Jesus Christ, that felt amazing," Eric exclaims, shaking his head like a wet dog as he walked into the living area where they were. Elliott stands up, his face almost completely red. "Why were you on the floor?"

"Uh, I," he stutters.

"He was looking for one of his game cards. You know those Dragon Ball X things..."

"Z. Dragon Ball Z, Beau," he corrects, his hand on the back of his neck. Was it this hot in here before?

"And why do you both look like I just caught you doing something you shouldn't be?"

"Um, we weren't doing anything?" Elliott says, trying to convince him.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he says, grabbing a box of cereal. "So, what's on TV?"

Elliott feels like shit for not getting Beau off fast enough - the last thing he wanted was to have him pissed off at him. But when he looks over at him he doesn't look pissed at all.

In fact, when their eyes meet, he smiles.

***

That night, Elliott is sleeping in his bunk when he's awoken by Beau crawling in beside him.

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbles. Elliott scoots over towards the side so that he can fit. 

"You want me to finish what I started earlier?" he asks, turning over on his side and putting his hand on Beau's thigh...

"No, actually. I did that myself earlier," he laughs. "I just, wanted your company, I guess." 

Elliott lays his head on his shoulder. He feels his heart beating and listens to the rhythmic breathing he takes.

"If you were wondering it wasn't easy getting off with my left hand."

Elliott laughs a little too hard at that.

"Shit, I can imagine."

"Sorry I woke you," Beau says after a while of silence. 

"No, don't be. I'd rather you be beside me anyways."

Elliott's scared that he'll bring up Lights, or the whole complicated situation that is their relationship, but he doesn't. They lay there beside each other (cramped in the tiny bunk), simply enjoying each other's presence. Well, at least Elliott knows he is enjoying Beau's presence.

He falls asleep with his arm draped over Beau's waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a filler before the next one - but it definitely has some important points / scenes about their relationship in it so I felt it was necessary.


	8. Carry On

Nine days into Elliott's plan of making Beau love him more than he loves Lights - and he thinks it's working. Well, he assumes he's at least making some progress since every night Beau has showed up at his bunk at exactly 2 AM sharp to lay with him. Not for sex (well, sometimes it leads to sex but that was hard to avoid with him, but he always stayed afterwards), but for his company.

One of those nights he seems particularly different towards him.

"This feels different," he says. He's lying on his back, shirtless, and Elliott has his arm draped across his chest. 

"What feels different?"

"My arm," he replies. That's not what he thought he was talking about. He was kind of hoping he was talking about the feelings he has towards him, but whatever.

"Is it okay? Good different or bad different?"

"Better. I can move it and it doesn't hurt as badly..." He demonstrates by reaching over and grabbing Elliott's hand with his right hand.

Elliott smiles in the dark.

***

"Who wants to go to Starbucks?" Beau asks early one morning. Elliott looks up from his phone and then back down.

"Uh, you mean, who doesn't want to go to Starbucks," Jared says, grabbing his phone off the couch and heading towards the door of the bus.

"Come on, babe," Beau says, grabbing Elliott's hand and yanking him to a standing position. He expects the rest of the band to react to the name calling, but they don't. Instead they walk out of the bus like everything was normal.

This makes him start to wonder how much Beau has told them, or how obvious everything is, or maybe what they do isn't much of anything.

He's really starting to overthink things.

But that's okay, because once they're at Starbucks, Beau insists that they sit at a booth. And once they get into said booth, his hand is under the table and he's fucking with Elliott.

He's trying to keep a straight face and sip his pumpkin spice latte and read through some Twitter notifications, but it's hard when he grabs his thigh and squeezes. It makes him feel wanted, and like he wants to claim him. 

Fuck, he wants that. He wants him to claim him right here and now. He'd love for him to throw him on the table and fuck him in front of their friends, showing them how much he loves him.

Is that love? Elliott's not even sure anymore - but he knows his dick wants it right now. His lower half wants it so much he can't even get mad at Beau when his hand grasps his cock through his shorts and makes his knee hit the table.

"The fuck, dude?" Eric snaps at Elliott. His drink has spilt all over the front of his shirt and he can't help but laugh at him.

The rest of the band laughs too.

"I would say sorry, but I'm not," he laughs, handing Eric his napkin.

"Oh, fuck you, this was my favorite white shirt."

"Oh my God, you have a favorite plain white shirt," Beau laughs, and he's fucking losing it over this. His hand isn't under the table anymore, no, instead he's wiping away the tears from laughing too hard. 

Elliott can't help but stop and stare at him and realize how much he fucking loves him. He loves how he laughs over everything, how when he does laugh, he can't stop. He loves his outlook on life, his inability to ever look at a glass half empty. He knows he's already been through hell and back (life before the band was hell for him, but Elliott doesn't even want to think about that right now). 

So he's sitting there in the middle of Starbucks, staring at him while he laughs hysterically at Eric when it hits him.

He really doesn't care if the band knows, and maybe, it will make Beau realize how serious this is to him.

He turns to him and puts both hands on the sides of his face and kisses him. Beau makes a shocked noise at first, and his hands kind of don't know what to do, but then he kisses back.

It's quiet when Elliott sits back and looks down at his drink.

Jared clears his throat.

"If you think that's going to make me forget about this stain, you're wrong," Eric says, in that super bitchy tone that lets you know that he is pissed.

"No, but I think it will make everyone realize how much I love him."

"What?" Jared coughs, wiping his mouth. "Okay, am I the only one that is shocked by this?"

"Elliott..." Matt says, and it sounds like he's trying to tell him to stop, but he's not stopping. He wants to take this to the next level, and let Beau know how he feels.

"I'm, I'm in love with him."

"Not surprised," Eric says idly as he wipes off more of the coffee stain. 

"I am," Jared says, looking between the two of them.

"You didn't know? Seriously, dude?" Matt asks.

"I, well, kind of? Isn't this kind of an issue since you're married?"

"Well, it's-" Beau starts, but Elliott cuts him off.

"No."

"Oh, okay, then," Jared says, and that's it.

The rest of the outing isn't awkward, but Beau isn't handsy with Elliott after that. He's not sure how Beau is feeling until they get back to the bus.

"Come with me," he tells him, and he walks him to the back room. Elliott briefly considers not following; staying right where he was and making Beau say what he wants to say in front of the rest of band, but he remembers that he's trying to get Beau's affection. 

He knows starting a fight wont do him any favors.

So he walks back there, and once he's in the room Beau slams the door. Guess he wasn't trying to be subtle about it...

"What the fuck is that all about?" he says, pressing Elliott up against the door. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

His tone isn't angry, no, but Elliott can't figure out what it is. 

Beau grabs his wrists and pins them at his sides and, oh fuck, Elliott is already hard and wanting him. His breathing gets erratic and they're staring into each other's eyes.

"I'm trying to tell you that I love you, that's all," he stutters, losing his train of thought as he bites down on his neck.

"Why in front of them, though?" he pries, rocking his hips into Elliott's. 

Fuck, Beau's hard too.

He rocks his hips into Beau's, trying to get more friction on his cock through the stupid shorts and he moans when he does.

"I- I don't know," he replies. To be honest, he does know, but right now his mind is only focused on sex and it's kind of hard to think about anything else. Especially complicated subjects like their relationship.

"Would you let them watch me fuck you too?" Beau mumbles into his neck. Elliott's cock twitches at the thought. Fuck, yes, he would love for them to watch. Hell, it seems so wrong thinking of it (and he's not sure he's going to be able to even look Eric in the eye for over a week now), but yes, he would. In fact, he's even starting to consider calling them in there...

"Yes, fuck, yes," he says, trying to get his wrists out of Beau's grasp. He loosens his grip and then Elliott wraps his arms around his shoulders. Beau lifts him up and he wraps his legs around his waist.

It's awkward because they've never kissed in a position like this before, but it's nice. It's kind of uncomfortable to Elliott's back, but he really doesn't give a shit. He'll put up with the pain as long as Beau's lips are on him somewhere.

"What about right now?"

And, oh fuck, maybe the reality of it just hit. How would their friendship work out after something like that? It was one thing to fantasize about it, it's completely different actually bringing your friends in to watch you fuck your boyfriend (or whatever he was - Elliott's not thinking about it right now).

"I, I don't know," he replies. Beau moves him over to the bed in the back of the room and climbs on top of him. Fuck, he knows what's about to happen. He's about to be so turned on he won't be able to say no...

And then they're kissing. Enough clothes were discarded so that they're both only wearing boxers and they're rocking they're hips into each other like their lives depend on it. Elliott feels like a fucking teenager.

He still will never understand how one person was able to make him feel so fucking good no matter what. 

"You wanna be fucked, baby?" Beau mumbles in between kisses down his chest. Elliott's eyes are on him the whole time, and, oh fuck, he's so close to his cock now. Beau kisses his crotch on the outside of the fabric and he moans aloud.

"Uh, I want you. Anything, fuck, with you," Elliott gasps, hands sliding into Beau's hair. He's not pulling, or moving him in any way, he just needs to touch him.

Beau pulls down Elliott's boxers and licks from the base of his hard cock to the tip and he can't believe how hard he has to try not to cum. Fuck, Beau hasn't even been down there but two seconds and he's so close it hurts.

"Beau, fuck," he moans. He takes him down his throat then, going as deep as he can and then his mouth comes off of him and kisses the tops of his thighs.

"Guys?" Eric's voice sounds through the door. "Hey, I realize you're busy, but we've got a show in like, twenty minutes."

Beau looks up at Elliott and, oh fuck, then he starts sucking on his cock again and it makes him see stars.

"Guys?"

"Fuck, okay!" Elliott screams, angrily. He can hear Matt laugh from somewhere within the bus.

He mentally notes to remember to kick his ass later for that.

Beau swirls his tongue around the tip, takes him back down, lets his tongue glide along the underside, and - fuck, that's almost it. Elliott grasps the sheets on either side of him and he's biting his lip so hard he's sure there's going to be blood. 

"Beau, Beau, I'm close, fuck, I'm cumming, Beau," he says, quietly so that no one else could hear it. Beau wraps his lips around his cock and takes every bit of him down, swallowing once he's finished. 

Elliott is left breathless.

"Damn it, I wanted you to blow me too," Beau laughs as he starts getting his clothes on. "Fuck, these jeans are tight as hell now..."

"Hey, maybe I can, how long do we have?" he says, even in his post orgasm haze. 

"Not long enough," he replies, climbing onto the bed and helping get Elliott's clothes back on. He leans down to kiss him as he's buttoning his shorts. 

"We can make it long enough," he mumbles into the kiss, placing a hand on the back of Beau's neck.

"Guys!" Eric yells, knocking on the door.

He smirks at Elliott before jumping off the bed and opening the door. 

"Can I help you?" he asks.

"The fuck? Yeah! You can get your mouth off Elliott for two seconds and get ready for our show!"

"No promises it won't be on him there too," he says as he disappears from Elliott's view.

Fuck, he loves him.

***

Elliott doesn't think they've played a show where Beau was this horny before. They may have and he just didn't realize it, but oh, he's sure he would've. He's already fucked with him more than usual, and he's not really being that subtle when he is touching himself through the jeans.

It's nice, it really is, but it's distracting Elliott. He nearly misses his line in You Wear A Crown, because Beau says 'babe' instead of his name when it's his line to scream and, oh fuck, it was so hard to get the words right when he's doing that. 

But he doesn't miss the line, and he's extremely proud of himself. He's even more proud when Beau licks his hand (yes, licks) during See You On The Outside and he's able to keep playing even when his mind is focused solely on how good it feels to have Beau's tongue all over his cock.

Fuck, he can't wait until the set is over.

So, it's a little more than halfway through their show and he's has successfully made Elliott just as turned on as him (if not more), and now he's hurting. His jeans are fucking tight, and he's really hoping that Beau doesn't put a hand near his crotch because it's so bad he's scared that that simple touch could finish him off within a second.

Beau is singing one of his verses from Carry On, lying on his back and his hand is sliding down his chest. He can't help but stare at him, wishing that he would undo his jeans and jerk off right there. Fuck, he wants to see his cock. He wants to see just how hard he is, and he wants to watch him get off, fuck.

Elliott wills his eyes away from the sight and when he crosses the stage with Eric, he gets a smirk from him.

He sticks his tongue out at his friend, because, holy fuck, he doesn't care that he saw him staring at Beau. He really, really doesn't care. 

Even though he's on the opposite side of the stage from where Beau is, he's still staring at him. He bites his lip when Beau's hand actually touches his crotch and then Elliott makes himself look out at the crowd.

He can't cum on stage, he knows it would be completely humiliating. He hates his stupid guitar for giving him that little bit of friction on his crotch, but he can't do anything about it so he instead tries to think of something other than Beau.

Yeah, that isn't so easy when he comes up and gets on his knees beside him. Jared's doing the vocals now, so Beau's mouth is free to do what he wants it to do. 

Which is totally not a good thing, especially when Elliott is this horny.

Beau puts an arm around his legs and looks out at the crowd and then starts trailing his other hand up his thigh and kisses his leg. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His hand moves so, so close to his crotch but he doesn't touch. Instead he moves his hand back down and kisses there instead.

The kiss wasn't exactly on his crotch but it might as well have been because holy fuck, it felt good. It takes every bit of self control that Elliott has not to grab him by the hair and pull him back towards his cock and make him put his mouth right where he wants it. He's already decided that right after they get done with the set he's going to fuck him. Oh, he's going to ride his cock so good he won't be able to think straight. 

After they walk off stage, Elliott is about to grab Beau's hand and drag him to the bus when Lynn shows up.

Fuck.

"Hey, Beau! You ready to ride?" she asks, smiling big. 

Elliott looks over at him with a pleading look of 'please fucking stay with me'.

"I, uh, I'm going to be a little bit..." he says, shifting from one foot to the other. "Catch you later?"

"Aw, but you're like, the leader of the group!" she exclaims. "We can't go without you! It's not a squad unless Beau's in it."

"Yeah, man! Come on, why aren't you coming?" Eric chimes in, being the asshole that he is. There's no way he doesn't know what Elliott and Beau are up to, and he's just being a total dick about it. "We can't go without you!"

"Elliott and I need to talk about-"

"Bring Elliott along! We have an extra bike since Brian isn't coming along today. Come on, it's fun," she says to him. "You know, unless you're scared."

"I'm not scared!" he snaps, putting a hand on his hip. 

In reality there are two reasons he doesn't want to join them on their bike ride. One (the most obvious reason); he's unbelievably horny (no thanks to Beau). Two: he hasn't rode a bike in years. He's sure he could figure it out again pretty quickly, but he doesn't want to make a fool out of himself in the process.

"Then why don't you come along? Come on you guys, I've been waiting all day to do this!" 

Beau looks over at Elliott.

"You wanna come?"

"I - can I talk to you? In private?" he asks, looking over at Lynn and then back at him.

"Enough talking! My set is in two hours and I want to spend those two hours having fun not waiting on your scared ass!"

"Fine! I'm going," Elliott says. He may be sexually frustrated, but he's not going to let that get in the way of defending his pride. He will not be called scared. 

"You sure?" Beau asks.

"Yeah. Where's my bike?"

***

Turns out, it's actually a lot harder to get the hang of riding a bike again. Elliott gets on, and nearly falls first thing, but thankfully Lynn and Eric weren't watching. He does okay for a while, but there's a sharp turn that they take that causes him trouble and, fuck, he loses control and is having a shit time recovering his balance on the bike.

"Are you okay?" Eric laughs, turning around and looking at him. 

"Fuck you," he replies, attempting to stay on the bike and not face first into the cement. He wishes he had enough control of it so he could flip him off, but he's not risking taking a hand off.

"Shit, Elliott - be careful," Beau tells him, pedaling up beside him. "How long has it been since you've rode a bike?"

"A couple years..." he trails, finally regaining control over the stupid thing.

"Only a couple?"

"Okay, fine, more than a couple. I haven't since I was a teenager."

"Damn, you're doing pretty well then. You look sexy doing it too," he says. After he does, he looks ahead to make sure Lynn and Eric are far enough ahead of them not to have heard anything, and yeah, they are. 

"Oh, I do?" he teases, biting his lip and looking over at him. 

"Yeah, fuck... Can you arch your back while you do it?"

"What? I'll fall!" he laughs, but when he looks over at Beau he can see that he's being totally serious.

"This is really a thing you have? Like, a fetish or whatever?" he asks. Beau nods.

"Yeah, okay."

He arches his back and Beau falls behind him. It feels stupid at first (he feels like a fucking girl while doing it to be honest), but it doesn't take long for him to get turned on doing it for him.

He looks back at Beau and he can tell by the look he has on his face that he's thoroughly enjoying the view.

"Like what you see?" Elliott laughs (but he's totally serious).

"Fuck yeah, I do," Beau replies, biking up beside him again. "I want to fuck you right now so badly, holy shit..."

Just as he is about to reply he loses control of the bike. He hadn't been paying attention and something (fuck, he doesn't know what) causes the front tire to swerve and he can't gain back his balance soon enough. He falls face first to the hard concrete in a heap of embarrassment.

Fuck.

"Oh my God!" Beau laughs from behind him. 

"Shut up," he snaps, wiping the blood from his lip. "Stop laughing at me!" 

"I'm sorry, I can't help it!" he exclaims, setting his own bike down and rushing over to his aid. "Where are you hurt- oh..." he trails, noticing his lip.

"Yeah, it fucking hurts," he says, rolling his eyes and getting off the ground. He assumes it looks a lot worse than it feels though, because, holy fuck, there's a lot of blood coming from his lip. The metallic taste is fucking strong in his mouth...

Beau's not laughing anymore. Instead he's staring at him.

"What?" he says, giving him a glare. "I'm embarrassed enough, okay, I don't need your sassy looks to go along with it."

"Aw man, did you fall? Fuck! I wish I could've seen it!" Eric laughs, biking up to them. Elliott rolls his eyes and shoots him a glare.

"Shut up."

"Leave him alone," Beau says, and his tone is dead serious. Elliott looks over at him with a surprised look. So, he isn't laughing about it anymore? What has gotten into him?

"Come on, I've got to start heading back in a minute, I guess we should go ahead and turn around..." Lynn says, sadly. 

"Aw, already?" Eric whines. "Come on, let's ride around a bit longer!"

"Nah, I've got to. My band will kill me if I'm not back in time. Come on, we'll do more tomorrow."

"Yeah, and I need to clean up my injury, not that anyone cares," he grunts, picking his bike off the ground and getting on it.

***

It's not until after they get back to their own bus that Elliott figures out why Beau started looking at him differently earlier. Or he at least has a theory of why.

He's just casually walking towards his bunk to get a book to look at (or something to do, he's not really sure what he's going to do yet), when Beau grabs his arm and yanks him back into a kiss.

"Oh, okay," he mumbles into it, forgetting all about doing anything else.

"Fuck, how is it possible to be so god damn attractive even when your lip is fucking bleeding?" he asks, his hand traveling up the front of his shirt.

"I, I forgot it was hurt," he admits, his breath catching when his fingers brush over a nipple. 

"It's sexy as hell," he tells him, biting his lower lip and sucking it into his mouth. 

"Ow, fuck, okay - that hurts," he laughs. He stops and gazes into his eyes - he's not laughing. He's got those lust filled eyes and nothing else matters other than sex right now. 

At least that's what Elliott thought the look meant.

"It's not like you give a fuck if you hurt me or not," he snaps, pushing Elliott up against the bunks. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

Beau's hand goes in between his legs and he squeezes his cock. Fuck, it feels so good. It's hard to concentrate on anything when he's doing this...

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You would leave me rather than give Lights a chance."

"Oh, is that what this is about?" he screams and backs away from his touch. He's pissed now, fuck his plan of making Beau like him more - it apparently wasn't working if he could still be thinking of her even when he was with him.

"Yeah, it is! I'm not looking forward to having you leave me again, Elliott! Fuck, you're just selfish!"

Beau grabs his arm and pulls him back, but he escapes his grasp.

"Selfish? I'm selfish? You're a joke, Bokan. You're the one that wants two fucks, not me!"

"Fucks? That's not how I view my wife and you, dammit! Who do you think I am?"

"I'm beginning to think you're a fucking freak!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Elliott?" he yells. This time when he grabs him he's holding on a lot tighter and he can't get away from him. "You don't really think that. Why else would you keep coming back to me?"

"Because I'm an idiot," he chokes out. Beau slams his back against the wall of the bus and grinds his hips into his. "Fuck, stop! I'm not in any mood to fuck you now!"

"Too damn bad," he snaps, grabbing Elliott's wrists and pinning them above his head. "Because I'm fucking you."

He bites down hard on his neck and Elliott whimpers out in pain.

"Stop," Elliott says, not really sure if he means it or not. 

"You don't really want that. You want this as much as I do."

He grinds his hips into him as he bites down on the sore spot again.

"Fuck you," is all Elliott can respond with because he's fucking right. He's addicted to the sex, the pain, the emotional drama that's between them. It's so screwed up.

"Get in the back room," he tells him. 

"Why don't you go jerk off by yourself?" Elliott snaps. He's not going to stay this time. He realizes that Warped Tour won't go on forever anyways, and he has already made his decision that he's not going to try a three way relationship with him and Lights.

Why should he keep having sex with him when it will all be over in just a couple of weeks?

So, he storms out of the bus. He can hear him shouting for him, but he's ignoring it.

"Elliott!" Beau screams, and ,oh fuck, he's running up towards him. Elliott starts running too, and he's fully confident that he can outrun him. He's been working out every day - it's got to pay off now. 

But he's not faster. 

"Elliott, dammit!"

Once Beau catches up with him he reaches out to grab his arm, but instead it results in the two of them falling into the grass in a heap of limbs. Beau on top, Elliott face down on bottom. He rolls over onto his back underneath him.

"Get off of me," he says. 

Beau starts laughing.

"No," he laughs, propping himself up with his hands on both sides of his waist. "I won't."

"I said off, you fat ass!" Elliott says, starting to laugh too. "Fuck, why are you so big?"

"I'm not fat, I'm tall and muscular, just the way you like it," he says, leaning down and softly kissing his lips.

"Beau..."

"I love you, Elliott," he tells him, pushing his blond hair out of his face. "I love you so much."

"I-"

"You don't have to say anything. I know you don't know if you do or not anymore. I get it."

"No, Beau, you don't understand-"

"Look, if after this tour is over, you're going to go back to Ohio, then just tell me now. But just wait until it's over to push me away again."

Elliott starts crying then. Full on tears cover his face, and he wants them to stop but they won't.

"I don't want to push you away, ever."

"Then come back home with me."

"I can't."

"Then kiss me now. Kiss me as much as you can now so I can keep it in my memory when you're gone."

And he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who were completely confused during the part during the live set where Beau says 'babe' instead of 'Elliott' - I'm referring to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W1Fi8_mvoI  
> Right around 2:00 Beau says "Elliott" and then Elliott screams his part *SWOONS*


	9. Hollow Bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely un-edited. Think of this story (especially this chapter) as the first draft of a book. I had mixed emotions on actually posting this but since next month I will be too busy (see end notes for more), I decided to let you guys see a ending of some sort.

After what happens last with Beau, Elliott starts counting down the days he has left with him. It starts with 18, and it keeps decreasing. Every morning he wakes up it's like a wave of sadness that overtakes him and he has to think of something else to make it go away. But it's kind of hard when every morning he's been waking up next to Beau. 

"You know, Beau, since you aren't using your bunk now, can I use it to store some of my stuff?" Eric asks. They're riding on the bus heading to their next show (it's in Missouri), and Elliott is sitting on the couch playing his Nintendo 3DS listening to their conversation.

"What? You can't put your shit in my bunk! That's where I put my stuff."

"But it's not like you sleep in it!"

"He has a point," Matt says, "I think I want some of my stuff in there, too - it's getting pretty crowded in mine too."

"For the last time, no. You never know when Elliott is gonna kick me out of his."

"I'm not gonna kick you out," he says, glancing over at Beau before quickly returning his attention to his game.

"Yeah, that's about as likely as you coming out as straight," Jared says before breaking out into hysterical laughter which the rest of them join in with (except for Beau).

"Shut up. Look, it's my bunk - find somewhere else to store your Playboy magazines, Eric," Beau says over their laughter.

"Excuse me? I do not have-"

"Liar, I saw you sneak them on the bus, remember?" 

"Fuck," Eric says, putting a hand on the back of his neck.

"You're embarrassed!" Jared screams, pointing at him and laughing. Matt laughs with him too. Jared falls over on Matt for support because he's laughing so hard (the kind of laugh that's so hard that it's practically silent). Eric is so pissed that he storms out of the room and shuts himself in the back room.

"You forgot your magazines!" Matt howls, and oh wow, Jared is really losing it now.

Beau sits down next to Elliott with a bowl of cereal in hand.

"What are you playing?" he asks, peering over at the screen.

"Zelda," he replies. Damn, where does he need to go next? He's almost done with this game if he could just figure out what to do…

"Ah. Can I watch?"

"Aren't you already?"

"Well, yeah. I just didn't know if it made you nervous."

Elliott laughs.

"Nervous? It's Zelda, not Mario Kart."

"True!" Beau exclaims, before scooting over closer (so close that their bodies are practically shoved together), and stares at his screen while he eats. 

It's slightly annoying hearing him chew while he's trying to concentrate, but the reminder of '13 days' hits him then and it starts not annoying him. In fact, it starts making him a little upset that Beau won't be around to annoy him after those 13 days are over.

He forces himself to return his full attention to Zelda.

***

They're at a crowded bar in Denver and Elliott is having the time of his life.

He's had a lot to drink, so much that he's forgotten that Warped Tour is ever going to end, and he's all the fuck over Beau. 

"Dude, I think you need to slow down," Matt says after Elliott orders another vodka shot. 

"Why? I feel great! Don't you feel great, Beau? I think Beau feels great too," he says, turning so that he can press a sloppy kiss on Beau's cheek. 

"Beau isn't drinking," Matt points out, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, you do need to slow down," Beau says, sliding the glass away from Elliott's hands. 

"Hey! It's not even late yet!"

"Listen," he says, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You're too small to drink that much that fast!"

"I'm not small!"

"What? You're the fucking pipsqueak of the band!" Jared laughs.

"Am not! Eric is!" he spits, looking over at him.

"What? No way!" Eric snaps back.

"Yes way," Elliott says, reaching for his drink.

"I don't want you passing out tonight," Beau says, grabbing the drink away from him and passing it towards Eric.

"Yeah!" Eric exclaims, downing the shot.

"Hey!"

"Come on, you want to stay awake with me, don't you?" Beau purrs, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"Dudes, this isn't a gay bar, please don't get us kicked out for God's sake," Matt says, looking around nervously to make sure no one saw them.

"What, straight people can't handle two guys kissing on each other?" Elliott says. He feels like it's a challenge now, kiss on Beau so much that they get kicked out of the bar - he really fucking likes the idea.

"No, it's not that," Matt starts, but he's cut off by Jared.

"Yeah, it's that. Straight people are weird," he says, taking the last drink out of the beer he has.

"Um, aren't you straight?" Eric says, looking over at Jared with an odd look.

Even in the dim light Elliott can see that Jared turns an unflattering shade of red.

"What? Yeah! Of course I am, I meant straight people like, um, most straight people, um-"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. We all know you want to suck Beau's dick now," Eric says, punching Jared's arm.

"Do not!"

"Hey, why does it have to be my dick? I think he wants to suck Matt's," Beau says, laughing too.

Matt also turns a shade of red that makes him look odd.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Matt and Jared both secretly like each other, holy shit," Beau exclaims, shaking Elliott back and forth.

"Chill out, dude," Elliott laughs. 

Meanwhile, Jared and Matt are sharing an uncomfortable stare.

"Are you gonna kiss or what?" Eric says, shoving Jared over towards Matt.

"Don't touch me!" Jared snaps, glaring over at Eric.

"Oh man, defensive!" Eric laughs.

"Why don't you two go have some alone time in the bus," Beau suggests. "Talk it over..."

"If you guys don't shut up I'm going back to the bus for real and I'm not coming out of my bunk until our set in San Diego."

"That's in three days," Elliott points out, reaching for Beau's water and taking a drink of it. Beau kisses the top of his head as he does.

"So? I've done it before and I'll do it again."

"Fine, we'll shut up... Right after you two kiss," Eric says, once again pushing Jared towards Matt.

"Even if we were going to do that," Matt says, standing up and sliding a twenty dollar bill over towards the bartender, "it wouldn't be here. I'm out, I'll be in my bunk if anyone needs me."

"Aw, come on, man, we were just joking..."

"Fuck that, I told you and you didn't listen, I'm out," he says, storming out of the bar. Jared sits down in Matt's place and looks over at Eric.

"See what you did? Now Matt's gone."

"I bet you're really upset about that," Elliott laughs. He couldn't resist himself, and oh shit, Jared is getting up now.

"I think he has the right idea," he snaps, walking out of the bar too.

"Ouch," Eric says.

"Okay, let's all make bets on what we're gonna find when we walk on the bus," Beau says.

"I say they're going to be making out on the couch and I bet... Hm... I bet twenty dollars," Eric says, pulling out his wallet.

"No, they're both going to be lying in their bunks, jerking off to the thought of each other," Elliott laughs.

"What do you bet?" Beau asks.

"Um, I bet twenty."

"Well, I say they're going to be talking in the kitchen. They're both going to be blushing because they just kissed, though, and I'm betting forty on it."

"When do we check?" Eric asks, jumping up and down.

"Now?" Elliott suggests.

"Nah, give them a little while. They've got to think about it for a minute."

***

As they make their way back to the bus to check on their poor friends (Elliott is pretty sure it's mostly an embarrassment thing, he doesn't really think Jared is in love with Matt or anything, but whatever), Beau is holding his hand. It's silly, but it's making Elliott upset. He clinches his tighter, and walks closer towards him.

"Okay, this is the moment we've been waiting for!" Eric exclaims, rubbing his hands together before putting one on the handle to the bus. "Ready?"

"Yeah!" Beau smiles, looking across at Elliott and then back at the door.

Eric slowly opens the door, and they don't see anything. Beau lets go of Elliott's hand and walks in first, looking around the living area.

"Guys?"

"What?" Matt calls from his bunk.

"Where's Jared?" is Beau's response.

"In here," Jared says, poking his head out from his bunk.

"I win!" Elliott exclaims, throwing his arms in the air. "You both owe me."

"Wait, we need proof they were getting off first-"

"You can't prove or disprove that, come on," he sighs. Beau walks over to Matt's bunk and yanks back the curtains.

"Can I help you, asshole?" he says, turning his attention away from his phone and towards Beau. 

"Has your hand been near your penis within the last thirty minutes?"

"What the hell? Fuck off," he snaps, yanking the curtains back. Elliott looks at Beau with a 'he so did jerk off' look.

"We can't prove that they didn't, so we might as well pay up," Eric says, looking through his wallet. Elliott gets the money that he so rightfully won and then goes to his bunk to surf online for what all he can buy with his winnings.

***

Beau shows up a couple hours later in his bunk, climbing on top of him and placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Well, hello," Elliott says, a smile creeping up on his face. He kisses him again tenderly.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he says, as he starts rocking his hips into Elliott's. It's obvious that he's hard through the thin material of his boxers and, fuck, Elliott loves it. He loves how he's the one Beau comes to when he feels like this. 

"Oh, really?" he teases, sliding his phone aside and turning his full attention towards him.  

"Fuck, yes," he replies back, almost breathlessly. It's as if he's addicted to him; like Elliott is a drug that he shouldn't take but can't get enough of.

At least that's the way Beau feels like to him.

He tries his damndest to kick away the thoughts, let go of every little thing that is complicated in life and just immerse himself in the sex. Because he knew that no matter what happened, the sex would always be good. Is it strange that it made him feel comforted?

Beau bites down on his collar bone and he lets out a soft moan. His cock gets harder and he pushes himself into Beau, wanting some friction and feeling. Fuck, it's so good feeling his hard cock rubbing on his, even if it is through several layers of clothing. 

"Fuck me tonight, Beau. Oh, fuck, please," he silently begs. He shoves a hand between Elliott's legs and massages him through the boxers. "It's been too long… I've gone too long without you inside of me…"

"Don't worry, babe. I've been planning on fucking you all day long," he mumbles, kissing his neck and squeezing his cock.

Elliott knows his boxers getting damp from the pre-cum and that Beau can probably even tell it, but he doesn't care. He whimpers as Beau teases his cock even more, his hands grasping for the sheets.  
   
"Oh, Beau, fuck," he gasps, throwing his head back into the pillows. It's so simple, just a fucking touch on his cock, but it's Beau and he's giving him that look of lust and it's so fucking hot. 

He has to bite his tongue not to scream out in pleasure when Beau shoves his hand inside the boxers and his skin actually starts gliding on his cock. 

"Oh, you are so fucking hard, fuck," Beau purrs, brushing his lips against his ear. 

"I don't want to fuck here, let's go- uh, fuck," he gasps, almost unable to speak from how good it felt. "Back, let's go in the back..."

Beau climbs out first, and Elliott is quick to follow. Thankfully it's around two in the morning, so everyone is in their bunks asleep. They're quiet as they walk back there, and Beau silently opens the door.

What Elliott sees next is definitely something he had never expected to see in his life.

Jared has Matt pinned up against the wall, and they're kissing each other like their lives depend on it. They don't even notice when the door is opened; they're that into it. Jared is kissing all over Matt and Matt's moaning and they're both breathing hard. Beau looks back at Elliott and he shrugs. What do you do when you walk in on two of your friends making out? Do you leave without saying anything? Do you interrupt their passionate kiss? Do you run away like your ass is on fire? Elliott has no idea. 

"Fuck," Jared breaths into Matt's skin.

"I love this so fucking much," Matt replies, his hand sliding up the back of Jared's neck.

"Oh my God," Beau lets slip, and holy fuck, Elliott could totally kick his ass for giving away their cover. He was actually quite interested in seeing where it was going. 

Jared nearly trips over himself backing away from him, and puts his hands up like he's just broken the law and Beau is a cop.

Elliott mentally slaps himself for even remotely thinking that the idea was hot.

"It's not what it looks like," Jared stammers, the typical reaction when you're caught kissing someone. Even in the dim light it's obvious his hands are shaking, well, it's more than his hands. His whole body is trembling, and fuck, Elliott knows how that feels. He walks over towards him and hugs him.

"It's okay, nothing bad is going to happen," he tells him, rubbing his back. It takes a second, but then Jared wraps his arms around Elliott too and, fuck, he hugs him hard.

"Beau, do me a favor and keep this to yourself," Matt says, and he sounds super pissed. In fact, Elliott doesn't think he's ever heard Matt this angry before.

"Look, I'm not saying anything other than I told you-"

"Shut the fuck up. Okay?"

"You're in denial. It's the first step, believe me you want to get over that fast..." he jokes, but Matt quickly turns the whole situation into anything other than a joke.

"Don't compare us to you and Elliott, okay? Our relationship is nothing like yours."

Elliott and Jared break away from their embrace.

"It sounds like you're shit talking our relationship," Beau says, and Elliott can tell he's pissed now. It's not often that Beau gets mad, and it takes a lot to make him that way. If Matt knows what's good for him he'll shut up now, but Elliott knows he won't. He's embarrassed about being caught and he's not thinking rationally, so he's going to keep on.

Elliott kind of wants to leave the room before things get really nasty. 

"Yeah, maybe I am. It's fucking weird that you have a wife and fuck around with him, okay? And besides, I don't even understand why you married her when you even told me you loved Elliott way before you even met her-"

Punch!

Matt falls back against the wall and puts a hand over his mouth where Beau hit him. There's blood flowing from his lip and through his fingers, his eyes glancing over at Jared.

"Beau!" Elliott exclaims, unsure of how to feel. 

"Shut the fuck up, Matt!" Beau yells, ignoring Elliott.

"You know what, no! I will not shut the fuck up! Why did you marry her? Why did you put Elliott through all of this shit?"

"You know what? Fine!" Beau yells, turning towards Elliott. "Listen, it sounds bad, but you're not getting the full story."

"Tell it to me then , then," he says, quietly. He's hurt, and he really hopes that whatever he's about to say will make him feel better but he's not sure that it will.

Beau takes a deep breath.

"Yes, I've liked you from the moment I saw you, okay? Back when you were still in Before Their Eyes, back when you didn't even know who I was. And even if you did, I wasn't much of anything to you. I didn't have the guts to say anything to you because I was stupid. Then Mike told us he was leaving blessthefall-"

"And Beau suggested you," Jared interrupts, looking over at Elliott.

"Yeah, I did. And well, we asked you and all of that. So you joined, and I started liking you even more."

"A lot more," Matt says, wiping the blood from his face and walking over to turn on the light in the room. "He wouldn't leave me alone about it. You're what he talked about all damn day long."

"Then why didn't you ask me-"

"Because I was scared. Come on, Elliott, it was like, 2011. People still were weird about the whole gay relationship thing. It was taboo. Especially in our scene, I dunno, it was. And, then I met Lights."

"And he fell in love with her, but didn't stop talking about you," Matt says, glaring over at him while wiping his bleeding lip with the back of his hand. 

"Because I still liked him! I always liked you," Beau defends, looking from Matt back to Elliott. "And I made her aware of that, I made sure she knew from the beginning because I just… knew I couldn't control myself around you."

"And then you started kissing me," Elliott says. He can feel the tears coming, and he really doesn't want to cry in front of all of them, but he's not sure he's going to be able to stop.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? You go and get married to some chick and then make Elliott fall in love with you and you're sorry?" Matt yells, glaring at him. "Sorry is one hell of a shitty apology!"

"I didn't make him fall in love with me! I didn't make him kiss me! At no point did I lie to him, or force him to do anything he didn't want to."

"But you should've known better than to mess with him when you were already taken!" he screams.

It's silent and Beau looks over to Elliott.

"I - I'm sorry. I should've never done it, I should've just stayed away and left you alone-"

"Beau," he says, his voice cracking. "don't be sorry."

"What?" Matt exclaims. "He-"

"I know what he did. But I can't imagine a life where I didn't fall in love with him."

"But now you're screwed! He won't leave Lights for you, and he's the one you want!"

"I know."

Matt sighs heavily.

"You don't understand how much I love him, Matt. And, yeah, it's going to hurt when I go home and stuff, but I can handle it. I'll eventually move on and find someone too."

Beau's face falls when he says that.

"Yeah, of course you will. Everything will be okay," he tells him. But now it sounds like Beau is about to cry.

"So, about you two," Elliott brings up, looking over at Jared. 

"Oh, come on, I thought I had diverted your attention," Matt says.

"There's nothing to say, really. It's just a crush," Jared says, looking over at Matt. "A crush that we've both been aware of for a long time."

"Okay, there you go. Now you know," Matt says, storming out of the room.

"A crush that he's ashamed of," Jared adds once he has left. 

"I'm sorry," Elliott says, patting him softly on the back.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm used to it," he says, and then he leaves the room too, as if knowing Beau and Elliott need time alone.  
   
The door shuts and there's an awkward silence. They had come in there to fool around, but now that's the last thing that Elliott wants to do. In fact, he's considering walking back to his bunk and going to sleep. But before he can decide on doing so, Beau breaks the silent air.

"I don't want you to find someone else," he says, his voice small and hurt sounding. Elliott looks up at his expression and sees that he's hurting, in fact, he might even be on the verge of tears. "I can't imagine how I'd feel if I saw you with-"

"Probably just like the way I feel about you," he says, his words icy. Beau visibly flinches and starts fiddling with his hands. What, was the truth too harsh for him to face?

"Elliott, this is different..."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! You know it's not different! You fucking know!" he cries, pushing his hair out of his face. He's tired of the same argument over and over and over, he wishes Beau would stop trying to change his mind over the subject. He's made his mind up - why can't he understand that?

"Yes it is! It's Lights!"

"I don't give a damn who it is! Drop it before you make things worse than they need to be, Beau."

"But-"

"I said drop it," he says, and Beau does. Right before kissing him, and fuck, there he goes again - making his head spin. 

"Can I still do this?" he asks, pressing himself up against Elliott and kissing his neck. 

"N- no," Elliott stutters, trying to keep his anger at him intact and not let lust take over. Beau pushes him by his shoulders back against the wall and kisses his neck. "Stop it."

"You don't really want me to stop this," he coos, his hand moving in between Elliott's legs and palming his erection through the thin material of the boxers. 

Elliott shoves him away.

"Yes, I do. Fuck off, I'm not in the mood anymore," he snaps. It's a total lie, he is still in the mood but there's a side of him that's telling him to not do it. At this point, he's not even sure why he's saying no because even the part that saying no is really just wanting Beau to get rough with him.

And he knows that's what's about to happen, too, because Beau pushes him back against the wall.

"Liar," he growls. "Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't want this and I'll stop."

Elliott doesn't look at him; he keeps staring at the floor. Beau uses his hand to force his head to look at him.  
"Tell me," he says, lowly. His left hand was in between Elliott's legs now, and fuck, Elliott can't help that he is hard as hell now. 

"I don't have to do anything," he says, avoiding the topic completely. He tries to free himself from Beau's grasp, but Beau forces him to stay there. 

"Not unless I make you."

"I'd like to see you try," he snaps, this time succeeding in breaking free. He makes his way towards the door, but Beau grabs his arm and yanks him back hard.  
"Oh, I'm going to," he says, pulling Elliott towards the bed and pushing him down on it.

It feels almost like a game at this point, because Elliott is so sure Beau knows he's faking not wanting it. Well, partially faking it. He's still pissed, but he's not pissed enough to really say no to Beau. Not right now. They've been through this argument so many times already he almost doesn't even care anymore. The only thing important right now was sex.

"Get off me," Elliott snaps. Beau ignores his fake request and instead reaches above his head … grabbing for the restraints that he had put there. Elliott's cock twitches at the sight, and he even moves himself further up on the bed so that his arms reach them.

"Eager to be tied down and fucked?" Beau asks, wrapping the rope around his wrist and yanking so that his left arm was bound tightly to the bed. 

"Fuck you," he says, angry that he couldn't control his urge and want for him. He wants to be able to say no; to deny anything to do with him; but it's impossible.

"What? You don't want to admit you love being forced to do what I want?" he asks. He ties Elliott's other wrist as he waits for a response.

Elliott doesn't say anything.

"Admit it, or I'm not fucking you," he says. If he thinks he's going to give in that easily, he's wrong. Elliott instead simply glares at him and yanks the restraints a bit. Beau's really tied them tight this time, tight enough to where they're already rubbing the skin raw.   
"Alright, have it your way," Beau says, climbing off the bed and walking over to the edge of it, right beside where Elliott's head is. 

"What are you doing-"

"I'm going to let you watch me cum, baby."

"What?"

"You didn't say you wanted me to fuck you, so I won't," he says. He pulls down his boxers and starts stroking his hard cock, right in front of Elliott and, oh fuck, Elliott can feel his cock throbbing with want. He wants Beau to touch him like that. 

"I- I," Elliott stutters as he watches Beau's hand glide up and down, fingertips brushing over the head ever so lightly to give that sensation that feels so good. He wants his cock inside of him, fucking him until he can't take it anymore.

But he's not to the point where he will admit it yet, so he lays there, tugging at the ropes and biting his lip.

"You want to say it? You ready to admit you want me to use you to help me cum?"

"No," he exclaims, trying to force himself to look away, but he can't. He can't fucking bring himself to look away from how Beau is jacking off while looking at him - his half naked body lying there helpless. He bucks his hips up into nothing, desperately attempting to get any pressure he can on himself. 

"Alright then, if you won't talk, I'll put your mouth to good use," he growls, pressing the head of his cock towards Elliott's mouth. He immediately opens up, allowing Beau to slide his member in and slowly fuck…

Elliott moans around him, and starts pulling at the restraints even harder. He wants so badly to touch himself while he sucks, to feel something on his own cock other than the stretch of his boxer shorts.

"Mm, your dick looks so good from here, baby. You want me to touch it?" he mumbles as he pulls his cock out of Elliott's mouth, a string of pre-cum connecting and then breaking between them.

The mere thought of Beau's hand on his cock sends a fresh wave of pleasant feelings down to his lower half; and what he says next is totally involuntary.

"Please, please, touch me," he begs, not regretting giving in at all. Beau smirks, but doesn't do anything; he keeps stroking his own cock, eyes never leaving Elliott's body.

"You want me to touch you? To make you feel good too?" he asks, being the asshole that he is.

"Yes, dammit!" Elliott exclaims, glaring up into his clear blue eyes. 

"Calm down, sweetie, I am," he says calmly, before taking off his own boxers and climbing on top of the bed. He leans in and gives him a passionate kiss before finally giving Elliott some relief by putting a hand inside his boxers. He moans aloud and pushes his hips forward into Beau's touch.

"Oh, fuck," he gasps, Beau's hand feels like heaven to him right now. 

"I love you," Beau whispers into his neck as he kisses - the words send a mixture of emotions through his veins, twisting his gut into a knot. There's complicated feelings that are bubbling up within the back of his mind, but they're quickly replaced with thoughts of lust when Beau takes off his boxers.

"Don't take long, I need you," he tells him. Elliott notices that his anger has pretty much melted away at this point - it must have been because he had said he loved him. 

Beau preps him enough, using fingers and spit, until he's moaning like a cheap whore underneath his touch.

"Fuck, please. I need you… I want you to fuck me, Beau," he mumbles, his back arching off the bed, pressing himself towards Beau.

"Okay."

His fingers are quickly replaced with his cock, and once he sinks into him, Elliott screams out in pain.

"I'm sorry, baby…" Beau mumbles into his hair. "I'll stop-"

"No, fuck me. Fuck me hard," he replies. He doesn't want him to stop. They've done this tons of times, he knows the pain will go away once he gets a rhythm going - he just needs to start. 

Once he does start - he doesn't stop. Fuck, it hurts like hell at first; the pain is traveling throughout Elliott's body and he's not sure if he can handle it much longer. That is, until Beau finally gets the angle right and starts hitting the nerves that feel fucking amazing. 

"Beau! Fuck yes, right there," he moans. His cock is lying fully erect between them; pre-cum seeping from the head and smearing on his chest. 

"You like that, baby? You like it rough, don't you?" he asks, wrapping a hand around his neck again. Elliott's breath hitches, and he nods, highly anticipating what was coming next…

"Yes," he mumbles, unable to break away his gaze from him - he loves the way he looks at him during sex. He looks at him like he's his one and only - the only thing that matters in the whole universe to him. Like there was nothing more important than this moment right now; the moment they're sharing together in the crowded back room; and that's exactly the way Elliott feels.

"You're mine, and I love you so much…" Beau coos in his ear, his grip on his neck tightening ever so slightly - enough to constrict his airway just a bit to where it's scary - to where the adrenaline kicks in and Elliott's even more turned on. He can't explain why the fuck it would turn him on but it does - and he trusts Beau not to take it too far… 

"I, I love you too," he chokes out. After he does, Beau removes his hand completely and wraps it around his cock, finally giving him that final touch that could send him over the edge…

"Cum for me… Let me see you," he mumbles, his hand making quick, pleasurable strokes on his cock. 

"Beau, fuck, harder, fuck me harder," he moans, arms pulling hard at the ropes so he feels the sting on his wrists. Beau pushes in deep and that's it - Elliott's falling apart beneath him.

"Ah! Fuck, fuck, fuck," he screams, Beau's hand sliding on his cock, carrying him through the orgasm. He's still coming down from the haze as Beau comes too, coming down and kissing his lips as he does - mumbling his name over and over.

They lie there together, breathing hard and coming down from the high - but Elliott isn't coming down from it. His brain is still on overdrive and he's thinking about how much he loves him. So he decides to say it, just so it isn't crammed inside him, begging to burst out anymore.

"I love you," he says into the silence. Beau's breath catches and he gets up, cleaning up the mess partially and getting his boxers back on.

He's wondering why Beau hasn't replied yet as he's untying his wrists.

"I love you too, more than you know," he finally tells him, kissing him hard once the restraints are off. 

Those words seem to let the rest of the adrenaline leave Elliott's body for good, because he finally feels tired and it's hitting fast. He grabs his boxers and slides them on, and doesn't even hesitate before he lies back down on the bed and closes his eyes…

***

"Elliott? Elliott! Wake up!" someone yells as they violently shake his arm. He opens his eyes a bit to see Matt standing over him, looking especially concerned.

"What's wrong?" he answers sleepily, rolling back over and closing his eyes - hoping to go back to that deep sleep he was in…

"GET UP!" he exclaims, this time grabbing his arm and yanking him upright into a sitting position. Elliott opens his eyes enough to glare at him.

"What is it? We don't even have a show today for fuck's sake…" he snaps, rubbing his face. 

"It's one in the afternoon, dude. Everyone else is doing something - and I don't want to be alone. I need you."

"I would be flattered if I wasn't so pissed off at you for waking me up," he snaps, pushing his messy hair out of his eyes. He could really use a shower…

"If you had gotten some sleep instead of staying up all night fucking Beau."

"Hey, you watch your mouth," he replies, trying his best to conceal the smile on his face.

"Jesus, I don't think you two have ever been louder than that. Even Eric was complaining."

"Eric is always complaining about something… Wait - what about you and Jared?"

"What about it? Drop it, okay? It's none of your business-"

"I think it is," he says, standing up and exiting the room, Matt following him. "Jared seems pretty torn up about the whole situation."

"It's a long story, you wouldn't understand. You don't understand the situation."

"Oh?"

"Listen, things between us have gone on for years. Ever since the beginning of the band. So don't act like you know everything, okay? You worry about your problems and I'll worry about mine."

"Your problems become my problems when someone else is affected by them."

Matt stays silent at that.

"Come on, maybe I can help."

"No, I don't want to talk about it. We're just fine," he says, and Elliott drops it.

***

"So where is everyone, exactly?" Elliott asks Matt as they crowd into the movie theater. They've bought tickets to see Jurassic Park; and unfortunately a lot of other people have too. In fact, the theater is so fucking crowded, they end up having to sit in the back row - which was completely empty of course. 

"Well, I know Eric went to go talk to some friend that lived near here; Jared went to go work out; and I actually have no idea where Beau is. I guess I assumed you would know."

"No, he didn't say anything to me," he says, grabbing a handful of popcorn out of the bag Matt was holding.

"I'll text them all and tell them where we are in case they want to join. We've still got like thirty minutes until the movie starts."

"This popcorn isn't going to last fifteen," Elliott jokes (except that he's not really joking - he hasn't eaten anything in what feels like forever).

Twenty minutes later, as Elliott is busy finishing the last specs of popcorn from the bottom of the bag, someone sits down right beside him. He's pissed to say the least - there were probably at least ten other seats to choose from but the guy had to choose the one directly beside him. He's about to look over at him to see what exactly he would be having to put up with for the remainder of the movie; but the guy puts an arm around his shoulders before he can.

"Hey, baby," Beau laughs, planting a kiss on his cheek. Elliott scowls (he's smiling on the inside, he really is) and stares directly ahead at whatever movie advertisement is playing now. "Glad to see me?"

"Partially," he replies with a smirk.

"Where were you?" Matt asks.

"Ah, just shopping. Riding around on my bike. Thought about asking Elliott to come along but I didn't want him to fall off again."

"Shut up, that was once."

"Hey guys, I brought the snacks," Eric says, holding an armful of candy and popcorn with Jared behind him carrying drinks. "Oh, and I brought Jared. You know, in case we need him for something."

"Hand me the food, I'll hold it," Elliott says, standing up and taking it from Eric.

"Watch out, he'll eat it all if you let him," Matt laughs, reaching over to Jared and grabbing a drink.

Elliott takes special interest in the fact that Jared sits directly beside Matt.

Matt, however, doesn't seem phased by the fact, he simply grabs one of the cardboard boxes of M&Ms from Elliott's lap and tears it open.

"Pass me the Twizzlers!" Eric yells, causing several people in the theater to turn around and give the five of them dirty looks.

"Sorry, we're trying to teach him how to behave, but he just won't mind-"

"Shut the fuck up, Beau," Eric snaps, grabbing his candy from Matt.  
"There are kids in here!" a woman shouts, sounding as if she was about to cry because she heard the cuss word. Elliott is having to chew his lip so hard to try not to laugh out loud at the situation.

Then, everyone shuts up once the lights in the room dim and the movie starts. Elliott's lost himself in it, it's that good. He's not even aware of where he is anymore, and jumps when he feels Beau's hand on his thigh.

"Beau," he snaps, looking over at him. He gives an innocent look and continues touching him, moving his fingers higher and higher…

"Shut up and watch the movie," he leans over and whispers. He clenches his jaw and does as he's told, turning his attention back to the screen. He's almost fully immersed in it again, the slight touch almost becoming routine and void from his mind, but then he grabs his dick through his shorts and squeezes-

"Fuck," he mumbles underneath his breath. He bites his lip as Beau keeps doing it, making him harder than he even thought was possible while watching a movie in a theater - but then again he could get turned on anywhere with Beau, he assumes.

He's trying to concentrate on what's happening (what's Chris Pratt doing now?) but he finds that his vision is going blurry and all he can really focus on is Beau's hand and how it's turning him on. How he wants it inside his shorts, touching his skin…

And then, as if Beau could read his mind (he wonders if he really can sometimes), he starts subtly unzipping his shorts. Elliott sends him a sideways glance, and sees that Beau's eyes are focused on the screen in front of them. Best not to make it obvious, Elliott thinks, and he tries to steady his breathing. His hand slides in, underneath his boxers, and, oh fuck, it feels so good. It's a wonder Matt hasn't noticed yet, but thankfully the movie is enticing (at least to those that don't have someone fondling them).

Beau slides his hand out and Elliott watches from the corner of his eye as he licks his palm before putting it back down - and he has to bite his tongue pretty damn hard so he doesn't let a moan slip out. His hand is gliding over his cock now, stroking him the best he can with the constraint of his shorts still being on. 

"Does it excite you to have our friends around when I'm touching you?" Beau whispers in his ear. He nods without looking at him; still trying his best to be unnoticed by Matt. But fuck, he's right, there's something about having them right there but not knowing what's going on beside them.

"Would you like for Matt to be touching you too?" he asks next, the question nearly making him whimper underneath his touch. He nods again, his hands gripping the arm rests on either side of his seat tighter. He's never thought of it before, but right now the idea of both Matt and Beau's hands on his cock is driving him so close to the edge of bliss he's starting to see stars.

"I'm sure he'd love to… I bet he'd do anything to get a glimpse of your pretty cock…"

Elliott leans over to whisper to Beau:

"I'm so close, fuck…"

And then Beau leans over and kisses his neck - pushing him over the edge. He bites back moans as he cums, messy all over Beau's hand and his own shirt. Beau reaches for a couple of napkins and wipes his hand and his shirt the best he can; while Elliott busies himself with zipping his shorts back up. He looks sideways at Matt; he's staring open-mouthed at the screen. 

Beau leans over and plants a kiss on his cheek and whispers 'I love you' for what seems like the millionth time that week before returning his complete attention to the movie.

Elliott spends the rest of it in a daze - halfway embarrassed about being turned on about the thought of Matt touching him and the other half just plain scared that someone saw what they just did.

But no one saw, and there's nothing to worry about.

***

"Last day of tour!" 

This is what everyone is shouting on Saturday, and it's making Elliott nauseous. Today is the day he has to leave it all; end his relationship with Beau for good - because he knows once he says he's not coming to their house to give the three way relationship a try, it's over. It's that or nothing; and Elliott already knows he's not going for that.

So, after today - it's nothing.

He tries his best to enjoy the day - he really does. But he can't seem to, no matter what he does. He tried playing cards with Ahren and Joel, but he kept losing and then they started making fun of him saying he sucked (normally he would've laughed too, but he was already so down in the dumps it wasn't funny at the time). He also tries taking a run with Jared around the venue, but finds that he can't get into it and tells Jared he feels sick and is going back to the bus for a while.

"Are you okay?" Jared asks as he wipes sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. 

"No, I feel like shit," he admits, leaning back against whatever tour bus they're closest to. His chest feels like it's about to explode - he can't breathe - let alone run any further. The sadness is taking over him like a bad cold; fuck, it feels like the flu even. His whole body is achy and he's not sure how much longer he can stand it. He just wants to go home already - maybe having familiar surroundings would make the transition easier…

"Does this have anything to do with Beau?"

"No!" he snaps defensively. Damn, does everyone know that he is having issues with him? 

"Sorry, I was just asking," he replies apologetically. Elliott feels bad for snapping at him and sighs.

"Yes."

"Look, don't worry about it, okay? Everything is always going to be okay. No matter what you decide to do."

"Yeah, I know," he lies, dropping the subject and heading back to the bus to shower off before their show.

"Last - show - of - Warped - Tour!" Matt and Eric are shouting in unison when Elliott climbs into the bus. Eric looks over and waves. 

"Join in with us, Elliott! Last - show-"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear it," he grumbles, heading straight for the bathroom and slamming the door. He takes a hot shower, and keeps telling himself that it's just another day.

Lying to himself doesn’t help either.

***

"Okay, we've got to do something epic," Beau tells the rest of them. They're in their pre-show huddle, waiting on their techs to finish setting up their equipment. Elliott is strumming the chorus of Walk On Water on his guitar even though he isn't performing it - he's just trying to get his mind off of things and usually playing complex riffs helps.

It's not helping this time - as if that's any surprise.

"Like what? Jump up and down like maniacs? That's what we always do," Elliott mumbles, and the rest of the band shoot him worried glances. That is, everyone except Beau.

"Look, I'm tired of your shitty fucking attitude. I've put up with it enough, and I'm sick of it. So cut it out, dammit!"

"My shitty attitude?" he echoes, unable to believe what he's hearing. Does he really want to start this right now?

"Yeah! Fuck, Elliott, you know what I'm talking about! I don't know what the hell has you in such a bunch today but you need to drop it long enough to make our show enjoyable."

The rest of their band is standing around them, unable to think of anything to say to stop the arguing.

"Shut the fuck up! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, I don't? All I'm saying is you can treat me like shit all you want, but when you bring it to our show you're taking it a bit too far. What the hell did I do this time to piss you off, huh? Because I know it's me!"

Elliott can't think of a response fast enough -

"Well? Let it all out! Tell us all how much of a shit head I am!" Beau screams, and Elliott flips him off before walking away from their little circle of conversation. He's busy fucking fuming in a corner between two tour buses when Beau comes up behind him and yanks him around.

"Let go!" Elliott yells, pulling away from Beau's grasp. "I came over here for a reason - to get away from you!"

"What is this all about? What the fuck is wrong with you today?" he shouts, hair in his face.

"Just leave me alone, okay? I don't see why you don't, since I apparently have a shitty fucking attitude all the time anyways!"

"Look, you know I didn't mean that-"

"Shut up, yes you did, you said it!" 

"Fine, do you want me to mean it? Do you want me to hate you or something?"

What Elliott says next isn't expected by either of them - 

"It'd make things a hell of a lot easier if you did!"

Beau stares at him; mouth slightly agape.

"What?"

"It'd make this easier! You know what I'm talking about, Beau, don't act stupid-"

"Elliott, this isn't the end of us. Today - is that what you're thinking?"

"Of course it is," he says, trying to keep most of his dignity by not crying. But fuck, is it hard right now because all he wants to do is let it all out and get it over with. 

"Why? It doesn't have to be! You can come with-"

"NO! I SAID NO! THAT WON'T WORK - IT WON'T WORK! DON'T YOU SEE? TODAY IS THE LAST DAY IT'S JUST ME AND YOU AND NO ONE ELSE AND THEN IT'S FUCKING OVER!"

"Then why don't we make it count?" Beau says, his voice small - probably because he was afraid Elliott wasn't done yelling yet.

"Because it's too hard!"

"Well, for Christ's sake, Elliott, can't you just make the last show enjoyable for the fans - at least? Put all of your problems behind you for thirty minutes and perform your heart out!"

"Jesus, you act like it's nothing. Like - I'm nothing…" Elliott mumbles, walking away from him and situating his guitar on himself.

"SEE - THAT'S THE THING, ELLIOTT! YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT!"

"LIAR!" he yells from where he is. He kicks the ground before making his way up the metal steps, back to where the rest of his band is. 

"Two minutes - the intro music has started," Matt leans over to tell him. He nods in response and puts his ear pieces in. Thirty seconds later Beau shows up, and stands between Jared and Eric to put his earbuds in. 

Matt runs out - then Jared, Eric, and then there's a split second where it's only the two of them left standing there. Within that second, Beau grabs him by the shoulders, spins him around and kisses him. Lips colliding and causing fireworks inside Elliott's mind - adrenaline surging through his veins…

The almost uncontrollable urge to punch Beau in the face and the desire to be kissed by him right there are both fighting within Elliott at that moment - and fuck is it confusing.

Matt starts drumming and the two of them break apart to start the set - running out onstage already in a high.

_"Watching your empire fall!"_

Elliott jumps and spins in the air, fingering the notes on his guitar with a precision that he could have only gained from years of practice. He's smiling, the screams of the crowd have pushing him to do so. He looks in the crowd, grinning from ear to ear - knowing he can't disappoint them.

Little do they know how much he's dying inside. Little does anyone know but himself how much he wants this to be his life - how much all he wants is this life - the life he has on tour - to last forever.

But it doesn't - nothing does.

Beau climbs what he can of the stage; Elliott doesn't care how high he goes. He ignores when Eric gives him the look of 'Beau's doing it again - he's so getting hurt' and keeps playing. While they're in the middle of Youngbloods (and he thinks Beau is at least ten feet off the ground), he's busy playing his part - but has the shit scared out of him when Beau kisses his cheek - seemingly out of nowhere.

He's not able to retaliate, though - instead he simply plays on, ignoring all things Beau-related. Which is actually really hard (as usual - he's not sure why he even thought for a second he would be able to ignore him), and it's pissing him off. He comes back to tease him again during What's Left of Me, and oh, it's bad. Beau is trying desperately to get a reaction out of him; his mouth dangerously close to his crotch, making him unwillingly get hard. 

Fuck.

Elliott wills his mind on other things - anything other than what Beau is doing right now. He wishes that he could find something else to entertain himself other than fucking with him, but he knows he won't stop until he gets something similar to a reaction. 

But once Hollow Bodies starts playing - Elliott gets a wonderful idea. He knows this one by heart - it's so easy to play out the notes; he could do in his sleep. 

So he decides to do the exact thing to Beau that he's done to him for the last four years. 

He acts normal as the song starts, giving the crowd a huge smile before tearing into his riff. He plays the first few seconds and then starts out for Beau - whom is currently on the other side of the stage. Thankfully, he doesn't notice Elliott until it's too late, and Elliott's on his knees in front of him. He looks down in shock and almost misses his verse that comes up, but starts singing at the right time. Elliott edges himself forward and is able to get a good angle - and starts kissing the inside of his thighs.

Beau's voice is cracking - he's screwing up the lyrics and Elliott is fucking loving this. He's having no trouble playing the guitar, even in the odd position he's in it's easy. He softly kisses his crotch as his verse ends, standing up and facing the crowd as Jared starts screaming again. 

He glances over his shoulder at Beau as he crosses the stage and sees that he looks nothing short of furious. It's funny how he doesn't even come over to him like usual during the parts he's not singing, especially when he was teasing him so hard earlier in the set.

Apparently the fact that now Elliott is playing too makes him act like a bitch - but it only makes the game more fun.

He doesn't wait long until he goes over again - this time intent on doing even worse (or better, depending on how you look at it).

He walks up to him again, this time remaining standing. Beau's singing his verse, looking out at the crowd and ignoring him completely. During a short pause in his playing, Elliott uses his right hand to grasp Beau's crotch, squeezing him and touching in such a way that he fucking knows it's turned him on because he gets hard fast.  
Hands back on his guitar, he jumps over to Eric, who is smirking at him. He smirks back, looking over at Beau and then sticking his tongue out.

_"And all I know is - if you can't run learn to die"_

Eric jumps around to the other side of the stage; Beau staying in center. Elliott lets him finish his verse before doing it - letting Jared start the bridge -

"With the setting sun; put the gun in my hand; pull the trigger, don't fail me now!  
With the setting sun, put the gun in my hand!"

It's the perfect time for it. Elliott's hands are completely free and he runs up to Beau, pulling his face towards him and making out right there - center stage in front of the whole crowd.

_"Don't - fail - me -"_

Beau moans into the kiss as he stumbles backwards from the shock -

_"now!"_

Elliott pulls away just in time to start playing again; he's in a daze but still able to do it. It's harder to remember how to walk than what chords to play; he almost falls on his face making his way back to his usual side of the stage. 

_"It's starting again!"_

Despite the new interactions and distractions he's causing; the band still does the synchronized head banging - they're constantly together in every bit of it. Elliott's feeling happier than he's ever been right now - more adrenaline is rushing through his veins than he thought was ever possible. Every worry and care has melted away and this is his life - this is everything.

_"We're going hollow!  
We're going hollow!"_

Elliott jumps and spins around in the air, landing perfectly and playing his chords on time again. He feels like he's floating - like he can do anything and everything he wants to.

_"Something tells me we could be here for a while -  
And all I know is if you can't run learn to die!"_

He makes his way back over to where he wants to be for the rest of the set - for the rest of his life even. He gets back down on his knees in front of Beau, this time looking up into his eyes and smiling big before sticking his tongue out just as he would if they were in the bedroom and he were awaiting his cock -

_"Don't fail me now!"_

He crawls forward, still playing the song, and hungrily kisses Beau's thighs, edging dangerously close to his cock. Teasing to the ultimate extreme while Beau has to sing - somehow he's still hitting his notes too. It's like the music is etched in their minds.

_"Whoa - whoa!"_

As Beau sings the last word, Elliott licks up from the base up to where he knows the tip of his cock is on the outside of his jeans and then stands. He's done playing the guitar - his part has ended - and he kisses him again. Beau is the one to put both hands on the side of his face this time and push him closer - take in more of him. They stumble over each other and finally break apart to wave goodbye to the crowd and then exit to behind the stage.

***

"Beau," Elliott mumbles as he's thrown back into the bed. Beau crawls on top of him and pins his arms above his head, rocking his hips into him.

"I know," he replies, kissing down his neck. 

Elliott pushes his hips forward too, loving the friction he has on his cock but needing more. Beau's hands slide down and they instead move to his sides. Elliott moves his hands and works on undoing Beau's jeans, he wants everything off and he wants it off now. They're both unclothed within a minute and Beau's back on top of him, rubbing his cock against his.

"Fuck, why haven't we done this before," Elliott moans, hands tightening in the sheets.   
"Never thought - about it," he replies, now wrapping a hand around them both and stroking their cocks together. It feels so amazing; all thoughts of tomorrow completely vanished from Elliott's mind an hour ago…

"Oh, fuck," he moans, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. He takes in the feeling, letting the pleasure flow through his body…

Beau leans down and presses his lips to his forehead, something that he didn't normally do. Not that it matters, but maybe it does. Or maybe Elliott is starting to overthink things again. But the stray thoughts cease once Beau sits back up, spreading Elliott's legs and prepping him to be fucked.

"I want you," Elliott says, almost unconsciously. He does want him, in more ways than one, but this one way will do for now. He doesn't reply, but instead shoves himself in, hard and deep, and Elliott screams from the pain. The rest of the band know what they're doing - he doesn't give a damn who can hear today. 

"I'm sorry-"

"Stop saying that, just fuck me," he snaps, wrapping his legs around him so that he's a bit more comfortable. This position hurts the most when they do it, but there's something about the pain that gets him going.

Beau does as he asks, continuing to fuck him hard, as if he had never cried out. Elliott's biting his lip now, waiting for him to hit that spot that will make him start to feel good-

"Fuck! Oh yes, yes, fuck, Beau!" he screams, his legs tightening around his waist and pulling him in deeper. Beau smirks as he hits the spot repeatedly, and Elliott reaches down and wraps a hand around himself.

"Hold on," Beau says, pulling out and apparently wanting to change positions. "On your knees."

Elliott gets in position quickly, backing up to his hard cock and easily sliding back down on it. Moaning once Beau hits the spot again, over and over…  
"Fuck yes, baby, you look so beautiful, I love you so much," Beau moans as he fucks. Elliott ignores the feelings that are begging to bubble up; to fucking ruin this like they ruin everything else. But he won't let them, not today, not right now.

"Uh, yes, fuck, your cock feels so good," Elliott moans, pushing himself back into him. Beau grabs his hair and pulls him back, kissing the side of his neck and then moving towards his lips.

"Cum for me," Beau demands, lowering his right hand to his cock and stroking it. Elliott looks down while he does, the sight of his hand on his member enough to send him over the edge any day -

"Ah, fuck," he moans as he cums all over the sheets, Beau's hand jerking every last bit out of him. Lips on his neck, biting and kissing.

Beau pulls out once he's done, and motions for him to lay on his back. He does, and Beau gets on top of him again, this time jerking himself off above his chest. Elliott smirks (mostly to himself) once he realizes what he's doing, loving the fact that he likes doing it. 

He likes for him to do it, too.

"Put your cum on me, fuck, you know I like it," he tells him, hands reaching over and stroking the backs of Beau's thighs, subtly pulling him closer -

"Uh, fuck, yes," Beau moans as he finishes, his cum shooting out across Elliott's chest. He stays above him for a moment, breathing hard, but then lies down next to him.

"Now I'm a mess," Elliott laughs, looking down at his cum covered chest. Somehow the sight is turning him on again - but he knows Beau is totally not ready for another round - at least not yet.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I hadn't done it since the first day of tour," he says, abruptly stopping talking once he realized what he had said.

The tour was over. They had played their last show, had their last meet and greet, there was nothing left now but to drive to the airport - where they would all take their separate ways.

Elliott wasn't prepared for it.

***

The drive to the airport seems to take forever. Elliott spends half of it packing his things, but that doesn't take very long, unfortunately, and he ends up sitting on the couch beside Eric. 

"I can't believe it's over," Eric says.

"I know, right? It fucking flew by this year," Jared agrees from somewhere in his bunk. He, unlike Elliott, always took a long time to pack and unpack. 

"It always flies by," Elliott says, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening up the gallery app. He's not sure why he's even doing it, it's a stupid idea to say the least, but he is.   
The first pictures are of Eric, Jared, Matt, and Beau sitting beside each other on the couch playing Mario Kart. They're having to squeeze onto it, because it wasn't made for four people to sit on, and the four of them are staring at the TV. Elliott's not even sure they knew he was taking the picture, and that made it all the better to catch them in the moment.   
He skips a couple of images and sees one of Eric and Vic hugging each other at one of the after party barbecues. He notices Beau in the background attempting to photobomb, but half his face was hidden by a passerby. He looks through more, ones of when they won the bowling tournament, photos of other bands onstage, several that he and Matt had apparently taken at a bar together (he doesn't remember those), and then he comes across some he didn't even take.

It's pictures that Beau had taken while they were sleeping together in one of their bunks. Elliott's head was lying on his bare shoulder and he was fast asleep, Beau was smiling at the camera - but his smile wasn't fake. It wasn't a 'haha, I've got your phone and I'm taking selfies while you're asleep' smile, no, it was - emotional. Almost as if he couldn't be happier to be here with him; and he was afraid it was a dream.

"Elliott, are you okay? Why are you crying?" Eric asks him. He looks up from his phone, wiping the tears from his cheeks that he hadn't even known were there. 

"I'm fine, yeah, just, allergies…"

"Crying?" Beau echoes, appearing from the back of the bus, holding his luggage. "Who's crying?"

"Elliott," Eric replies.

"No, I'm not!" he snaps, locking his phone and sliding it back, safely, into his pocket. 

"What's wrong-"

"I SAID I'M NOT CRYING, DAMMIT!" he yells, this time standing up and storming to the bathroom, slamming the door behind himself. He grabs his phone and unlocks it, the picture of him asleep beside Beau appearing on the screen. He leans back onto the door, sliding down until he's sitting and staring at the image with a heavy heart.

He stares into Beau's blue eyes - the ones he loves so much even though he doesn't admit it often enough. He bites his lip as he goes to the next picture, and silently cries as he looks at it. In this one, Beau is kissing the top of his head. He goes to the next one - it looks like it was taken accidentally because it's a bit blurry, but it's of him yawning and Beau apparently freaking out, thinking that he had woken up. He laughs despite himself, the expression on Beau's face was priceless. He was probably right to be a bit worried, Elliott would've most likely gotten pretty angry at him for being on his phone at the time.

But right now he's so happy he took the pictures. He makes the one of him kissing his head his lock screen wallpaper and then looks at more of the photos.

He forgot about the ones he took at the theme park - there's several selfies he and Beau took on the rides together. Several of which had been successfully photobombed by his band mates; one with Eric sticking his tongue out, two with Matt and Jared making ridiculous faces.

There was one that was of him and Beau that he had someone else take that he especially liked. Beau's arm was around his shoulders and they were leaning their heads together…

"Fuck!" Elliott screams abruptly, slamming his phone down onto the floor and burying his face into his hands. Nothing could have prepared him for how bad this felt - every single memory he had made from the tour was replaying in his mind, from the first kiss to the last… Every single time Beau said 'I love you' or when they almost got caught having sex, or when they teased each other onstage, or-

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Elliott! Elliott, we're here! At the airport! Come on, man," Matt says, attempting to open the door but failing since he was leaning on it. Elliott wipes his face for any stray tears and looks in the mirror - he's a mess - and opens the door anyways.

"I'm coming."

He walks into the Washington airport rolling his suitcase behind him, following the rest of his band. They walk towards the departures / arriving screen and look at the times for each flight. Elliott's flight to Ohio leaves at 8:30 PM; it's half past seven right now. He can't help but look to see when Beau's flight leaves and it's the same time as his.

"Fuck!" Beau exclaims once he notices, and he sets off at a run towards the baggage claim area.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Elliott says to himself, but Matt overhears.

"Dude, if you want I can come with you-"

"Surprise!" Lights exclaims, running up to Beau and wrapping her thin arms around his shoulders. She's wearing waist high denim shorts and a white tank, her black hair falling graciously down her back. Elliott feels sick just seeing her - knowing how much more attractive she is than him, how she has everything he wish he had.

Beau spins around and picks her up (easily because of how thin she was), kissing her before setting her back down on her feet. 

"Look, you know what? I'll buy a ticket to Ohio too. I can stay at your place and keep you company for a couple of days - what do you think-"

"Elliott!" Lights exclaims before Matt can finish talking. Elliott wants to run; not to be embraced by the girl that has everything; but he's above that and he knows it. He stands there with a fake smile and winces as she tightly hugs him.

"Hi, Lights-"

"Can't you come with us?" she begs, pulling away from the hug and holding his arms, looking up into his eyes. Beau is behind her now, holding two tickets in his hand and looking at him with a pleading look.

"I can't," he says, voice cracking a bit. "I'm just - not - yeah." He struggles to find any words to explain how he feels, but she nods in understanding.

"Okay. But you're still coming over every once in a while. I can't bare to not see you!" she says, smiling once again and planting a kiss on his cheek before walking back towards Beau. "Are we ready to board our flight?" she asks him, taking her ticket from his hand and sliding it into the back pocket of her shorts.

Beau glances over to Elliott, then back to her. 

"Yeah, I guess so. You go ahead, I'm going to say bye to everyone."

"Okay," she replies, walking away and disappearing into the crowd of people.

Beau says goodbye to everyone else first. Elliott watches as he does; and once he comes to him he feels the world around them disappear and now it's only the two of them. He's numb, feeling as if he's been injected with a drug and it's made every feeling go blank, his mind void of every anxiety he just had and now it's replaced with one thought, which he voices immediately.

"I'm going to miss you."

Beau doesn't reply, instead he rushes up and embraces him, squeezing him much tighter than Lights had. He pulls back just enough to kiss - and then stops. 'It's only making it harder for you', a voice in the back of Elliott's mind says, and he happens to agree.

"We'll see each other again soon," he says. They both know it's not soon enough, and that it won't be the same at all. In fact, nothing is going to be the same - ever again.

And then he's gone. The noise of the crowd returns, the hustle and bustle of life coming back into his senses. He looks around himself for Matt, and finds him standing around five feet away, talking to Jared. He wonders if they're talking about anything to do with their relationship, but before he can eavesdrop at all Matt comes over towards him.

"So, what do you think? You, me, and your TV for a couple of days? It will be the perfect thing to help you get settled back into real life-"

"This is real life," he says, slightly offended at the way Matt put it. It's not like what happened between him and Beau wasn't real - it was more real than anything he has ever experienced in his life.

"Well, I know, but-"

"Whatever, forget it, it doesn't matter. I'd love for you to come to my place to stay for a couple of days. I'll buy your ticket-"

"No, I've already got it," he laughs. "I was going whether you were okay with it or not. In fact, I booked my flight a couple of weeks ago."

"How did you know-"

"I know you better than you think... So, are you ready to go home?"

***

He sits down beside Matt on the plane, feeling uneasy. He's not sure if he's making the right decision still, and he hates being this undecided. It all comes down to whether he wants Beau badly enough or not. But badly enough to share him? No. No, he can't do that. How could anyone? But then he realizes that Lights is willing to share… But that's a different situation too! Because she, unlike him, is bisexual and even openly admitted to liking him! So, of course she would be okay with sharing Beau, she wanted Elliott too.   
But Elliott doesn't want her. 

He sits up a bit straighter, feeling a bit more confident now that he has things worked out in his head. He'll go home and spend some time with Matt - he's liking him a lot more now and he's glad they're becoming good friends. No one else offered to comfort him right now, to be there for him while he healed from what had happened.

He's not sure how long they have until departure (why don't planes have the time where you can see it? It doesn't make any sense and it's always bugged the shit out of him), so he unlocks his phone to check it-

Bad idea.

The photo of Beau and him together flashes on the screen with the time across the top (8:19 PM), but he finds that he's forgotten all about the reason he even looked at his phone to begin with. Instead he gets the sudden urge to run off the plane before it takes off and go to Beau. He has to will himself to stay seated - reminding himself of all the reasons he knows going with them would be a bad idea. 

He lets out a small sob, and hopes Matt doesn't notice. He's shaking pretty badly now, he wants to cry because he feels like he's done the wrong thing. Maybe he could put up with her - she's a really nice person, and it's not like she could have Beau to herself all of the time if he was there… That's it, he knows he's made the wrong decision, he can't bear the thought of sleeping alone again, he doesn't want to-

"Jared just texted me this," he says, holding his phone up to Elliott, breaking him out of his mental chaos.

On Matt's phone is a picture of Matt and Jared together at Six Flags. Matt is leaning his head on Jared's shoulder and smiling; a grin on Jared's face as well.

Elliott's unsure as to why Matt would show it to him.

"It's a good picture," he replies, still unable to process much other than the fact he hates himself for being on this plane. He's on the wrong one, he just knows it-

"We kissed for the first time around eight years ago," he says. Elliott almost freaks out about it, it's crazy hearing him say it - especially after the way he's acted about it anytime he brought it up.

"Eight years ago?" he echoes. It's hard to believe that things had been going on between them for so long - even before he knew him; before he was in blessthefall…

"It was in the backseat of our old tour van. God, that thing was a piece of shit. Didn't even have the passenger's side window - someone broke the damn thing and we didn't have the money to replace it. Anyways, it was after a really awesome show, the crowd had been going the hardest for us and we weren't even the headlining band. They really loved us that night; we sold probably a thousand in merch-"

"A thousand dollars in merch? Fuck, we have a hard time doing that now!" Elliott exclaims, unable to believe it.

"Some rich kids must have been at that show," he replies, unable to contain the grin he had on his face. "Anyways, Jared and I were in great moods to say the least. Craig and the others went to some party that some girls invited them to and we said we would both rather stay behind at the van and wait on them. The girls looked pretty damn skanky and I wasn't in the mood to have a bad trip again - that's another story though."

"You did drugs?"

"For a little while, but Jared convinced me to stop… Anyways," he continues, straightening up in his seat as if ashamed, "so we're at the van-"

Prepare for takeoff. Please turn off your phones and put your seat belt on. Takeoff in two minutes…

"In the van," he continues, annoyed at being interrupted again, "and Jared complains about being cold so we go in the back where all the windows are still intact." He laughs. "And, um, I grab two of the blankets we had in the back and we sit huddled together trying to get warm and then I get the urge to like, do it. Kiss him, I mean, not have sex. So, I ask him if he's single. I didn't want to be pushed away on that account, at least, and he said no. So I was like, okay green light, and I did it. I guess it was all the adrenaline from the show that made me do it."

"Had you been attracted to him already?"

"Well, yeah, kind of. I think I always had a crush on him, ever since we met in high school," he says, and Elliott can see a faint blush show up on his cheeks. 

"So, then what happened? Did he kiss you back? Did he push you away? Did-"

"I'm getting to that part! So, we were as close to each other as possible already because it was freezing. And I mean cold, like, I'm talking, under fifty degrees and we didn't have jackets."

"Ouch, that reminds me of that show in New York we did where the heater wasn't working in the hotel-"

"Yeah, but worse," Matt interrupts quickly, as if trying to stop Elliott from reliving the memory. It's a good thing too, because the memory involved Beau and him, huddled up in a bed together… "So, after asking if he was single I waited a second and then turned to him and kissed him. I wasn't exactly an expert at it, hell, I was only twenty at the time. He didn't really see it coming, I guess, and didn't react at first. So I stopped and started apologizing like crazy. Fuck, I get embarrassed for myself again just thinking about it… He sat there, just staring at me while I fucking apologized. And then he quietly asks me to kiss him again."

"No…"

"Yeah, so I freak out and being my usual horny self go at it again. I was having a complete rush of emotions and shit then because he was the first guy I had ever kissed and it was really exciting. So we kissed again, and he kissed back and yeah, end of that. We didn't have sex or anything, just really lost track of time… Eric scared the shit out of us getting in the van. Thankfully him and the rest of the band were fucking wasted as shit and didn't notice what he had been doing. But naturally that meant that none of them could drive so I went to the front to do it and Jared insisted on being in the passengers' seat even though there wasn't even a window there and the cold wind was blowing through the whole time."

"Then what happened?"

"Well, I'm not going to go into detail about every event after it-"

"Did you guys talk about the kiss? You know, about what it meant and how you felt-"

"No, not really. I mean, we were the best of friends, we just kept doing things together as usual. Nothing changed or felt awkward, we were still super comfortable with each other. So I waited for the right time again, I think it was at the back of some comic book store we were at. None of our friends were there and something about the way he looked that day made me really want to kiss him again, so I did."

"Wow, I-"

"We just kept doing that. Kissing whenever we felt like it… Sometimes he initiated it too, but it was usually me. I got nervous thinking that I was pressuring him into doing it with me and I asked him if he liked me back too and he said that he did. He was just nervous all the time and even admitted that he wish we kissed more. So naturally that led to us making out," he laughs.

"Why did you two stop doing stuff together? Have you ever had sex? Have-"

"I'm getting to all of that! I don't remember the date we first had sex, but yes, we have. Lots of times. It wasn't long after we started kissing, I guess… Oh, I remember now, I think it was after one of the shows that Jared had to front because Craig had bailed on us. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was now that I think about it."

"Are you a top or bottom?" Elliott asked, eager to know. He had been curious ever since he had found out about him and Jared.

"Excuse me? Top, obviously. Jesus, Elliott, how could you possibly think that I could possibly bottom? Do I look like a bottom to you?" he asks, clearly offended.

"Sorry, didn't know it was a bad thing," he says.

"Oh, I forgot you were a bottom… I, uh, I just mean, yeah," he says, looking around the plane nervously. "Once we had sex for the first time things got a little more serious."

"In what way?"

"In the way of, we were like rabbits, the two of us. Jesus, we probably did it at least twice a day for a while afterwards…"  
"Twice a day?" he exclaims, causing a few people to turn their heads in their direction. Matt shoots him a glare, but still goes on.

"Yes… You don't understand what it was like. We weren't on tour then and we spent all day at Jared's place. We had a ton of time on our hands, and it was something new for us. Then we found Beau and started recording the next album… Then toured…"

"This still doesn't explain why you stopped."

"We didn't stop. Don't you see?" he says. "That's what I've been trying to explain to you."

"So, you're boyfriends?"

"No… That's kind of why I'm talking to you about it now. It - there's something about 'being boyfriends' that scares me."

"Scares you? Why? And why did Jared say you were ashamed of liking him-"

"He has thought that ever since I turned him down when he asked me to be his boyfriend."

"When did he ask you that? Recently?"

"Not really, it was when we were recording Hollow Bodies. I felt terrible saying no, but I couldn't say yes. I just, can't."

"Is it because that would be admitting that you're gay?"

"I'm not gay," he says angrily, "I'm bisexual. I still like women - I thought that was obvious?"

"Well, yeah, I guess it is," he says, recalling all of the times Matt has talked about women.

"Okay, so you don't want to admit that you like guys too, then."

"Then everyone will think I'm gay, just like you just did."

"First off, why is that such a bad thing?" Elliott asks, slightly offended.

"I don't know, I just-"

"There's nothing wrong with liking guys. And besides, who cares what people think? Who is going to know that you two are dating even if you do? If you decide to keep it on the down low, it will be. You've done a pretty good job keeping it a secret so far. Hell, I didn't even know."

"Yeah, no one knows," he says, his voice trailing. "Not even Eric, who's been around us since the beginning."

"Eric is pretty naive most of the time," Elliott laughs. Matt gives a silent huff in agreement.

"I just - I don't know how I feel about him. Part of me says to go and do it, to date him and see what happens."

"What's stopping you?"

"I don't know anymore," he admits, fiddling with his hands nervously. He looks over at Elliott.

"How would you feel if you saw him with someone else?" 

"What?" 

"If on our next tour he shows up with some, skinny perfect looking girl and he introduces you to her and says she's his girlfriend. How would you feel?" Elliott asks him, reminded of his own situation. He doesn't want Matt to feel like he does - he doesn't deserve it.

"First off, that would never happen-"

"What's stopping him? Nothing! You said no, are clearly embarrassed to admit to anyone that you like him, what's to stop him from going out and finding a pretty girl or guy? How would you feel if you hadn't spoken up before? And then you're really screwed once he has someone, you can't win after that. Once he does, you're fucked, there's no going back-"

"I hadn't thought of it like that," Matt admits, turning his head to look out the black window. It's too dark to see anything, but he still looks as if he can see the clouds.

"You have to. He must really like you, Matt. Think about it - eight years and neither of you have had a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. I think you both like each other a whole lot, but you're not ready to admit it. Come on, haven't you ever asked yourself why you never went out and got yourself a girlfriend? God knows you could get whoever you wanted," he says, being completely honest. "You're attractive, the drummer in a relatively successful band, come on - there are girls lined up for that. But yet, you've stayed single. Why?"

"Him," he whispers, as if realizing it just now. 

"Exactly," Elliott replies, feeling confident in what he's saying. "Now, you've admitted it to me, admit it to him."  
"It's hard," Matt replies shortly.

"I know it is. Believe me, I know. But it's worth it. The first time you hear him say I love you, you'll never forget it. Ever. Think of it, you'd never have to spend another night sleeping alone."

"It would be nice to be next to someone, I guess…" he says thoughtfully.

"Not just anyone," Elliott smiles, "Jared."

"Yeah - Jared."

***

It's after 1 AM when Matt and Elliott arrive at his apartment. Elliott kicks open the door and practically throws his bags inside, not caring where they landed or what they damaged on their way. 

"So this is where you live, huh?" Matt says, looking around with his own luggage still in hand. He doesn't have much, though, it's nothing compared to what Elliott had brought along with him.

"Yeah," he replies, "You want me to show you around?"

"No, it's okay. I see the couch and that's all I need," he laughs, laying down on it moments later. "It's comfortable."

"It's my mother's old couch," he explains, walking into the kitchen and straightening up a bit. It's quiet, too quiet for his liking, so he grabs the TV remote off the counter and turns it on. 

"Hand me the remote," Matt says from the couch, and he does. 

He's glad Matt came along, because he's pretty sure he would be a sobbing mess right now if he were alone. His mind is on Beau, on how he's fucked up, about how much he hates his life right now. 

He doesn't bother to unpack before falling asleep on his bed.

"Come on, Elliott!" Eric exclaims. He runs as fast as his tired legs will take him towards the bus and jumps in, Eric shutting the door behind him.

"I thought you were never going to make it," Matt laughs. 

They're on tour for To Those Left Behind. Elliott breathes a sigh of relief that he made it on time. He's not sure what he would have done if he had to try to catch up with the bus. Drive there? His car was still at home… He could rent a car, but that would be too expensive…

He sits down next to Beau on the couch; and Beau immediately stands. He looks up at him, but he won't meet his gaze. 

He ignores it. It's nothing, he tells himself. It becomes late, and the band lay down in their bunks to try to get at least a little bit of sleep before their first show. After he's sure everyone is in their bunks, he sneaks out of his to get to Beau's. Usually it's the other way around, but Elliott just can't wait tonight. He's missed him so much…

He pulls the curtain back and Beau glares at him.

"What do you want?" he snaps. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I - I thought I could join you-" he stutters, bottom lip quivering slightly. Beau is never this cold - to anyone - especially him…

"Join me?" he mocks, tone cold as ice, "Why? What's wrong with your bunk?"

"Nothing's wrong with it, I just, thought that we could sleep together-"

"If you wanted to sleep together you would've come home with me and Lights," he says, still glaring. "You had your chance and made your choice."

"I, but I still-"

"Get away, Elliott. I thought you were going to go 'find someone else'? Well, where is he? I don't see anyone!"

"I- I don't have anyone else - I love you-"

"IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED TO COME WITH ME!"

"I'm sorry, Beau, give me another chance, please-"

"Fuck off, Elliott," he yells, pulling the curtains back. Elliott stands in shock for a moment before starting to cry, whole body trembling with him…

"Elliott!" Matt screams, walking up to him. He doesn't get why he's yelling now; what did he do to him? He tries to reply, but no words come out; only sobs. 

"ELLIOTT!" he screams again, this time shaking his shoulders. 

He awakes with a jolt, sitting bolt upright and hitting his head against Matt's. Matt yelps in pain, Elliott's shaking. His sheets are drenched in a cold sweat and he's still crying.

"I fucked up," he sobs, burying his face in his hands. Matt sits on the bed beside him, rubbing his back.

"Calm down, it was just a nightmare - it wasn't real. You're okay now, I'm here with you," he consoles.

"He - yelled at me - told me to-" he stammers through tears. 

"Shh… It's okay… It wasn't real, okay?"

Elliott nods, even though it's not okay. After a while he finally calms down enough to lay down again, and Matt gets up to leave the room.

"Can you stay in here? I mean, in bed with me? Or is that too weird-"

"Are you kidding me? I'd love to!" he exclaims, as if he had been waiting to be asked. He slides into the bed, laughing to himself a bit.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"I was just thinking about the time you woke up and I was in your bunk with you. You wanted to kill me," he laughs. "No, you were going to kill me, I'd be dead if there hadn't been witnesses on the bus! And now, you're asking me to sleep in your bed. I feel like I'm making progress in our relationship…"

"Don't get any ideas," Elliott laughs. He's so grateful that he has him as a friend - he doesn't know what he'd do if he had to put up with all of this alone.

***

"Elliott!" Matt says, shaking his shoulder. 

"Uh, what?" he replies, sleepily. "What time is it?" 

"It's one in the afternoon, dude. I let you sleep forever but now I'm getting really restless… Do you want to go out and grab some lunch? You don't have shit in your fridge. And I'm sorry, but vegan burger patties don't seem that appetizing to me."

"I forgot, you eat meat," he mumbles, yawning and stretching. "You said it's one PM?"  
"Yeah, and the funny thing is I was scared I was going to wake you up when I got up. Who was I kidding, you sleep like a rock…"

"It's okay, I needed to get up anyways," he replies. "Let me get my clothes on and we can go out."

"Sounds good to me, I'll be in here," Matt tells him, leaving the room.

He tugs an Ohio State Buckeyes shirt and jeans on, fixes his hair, and grabs his shoes. He's in the middle of putting them on when he realizes he forgot to turn his phone back off after getting off the plane so he does - 

The image of Beau kissing his head flashes brightly displaying a time of 1:34 PM. His heart sinks and so does his mood. He wishes he had woken up next to Beau instead.

Then he remembers the nightmare - and he has to hold on to his dresser for support to still stand. He's upset - the kind that's physically taking him down with it. He doesn't want to think about it - he wants to live like he normally does off tour. 

"Are you coming?" Matt shouts from the living room. 

"Yeah," he replies, finishing tugging his shoes on and walking out of his bedroom. 

They spend all day together. First going to lunch, then going to a local comic book store, walking around the mall for a bit, and by seven PM, Elliott is ready to go back to his apartment. He mentions this to Matt, but he says he has other plans for them.

"Um, like what?" Elliott quizzes. They're walking out of the mall to his car now. Matt looks sideways at him and smirks.

"You'll see, I'll drive," he replies.

"This is starting to feel like a date, seriously."

"Maybe it is. Maybe all of this," he says, making wild motions in the air with his hands, "is me trying to get in your pants. Is it working?"

Elliott giggles.   
"No. You're going to have to do better than this."

"Damn, I was really hoping we could light some candles in the bedroom tonight, you know, to set the mood-"

"Matt!" Elliott exclaims, the mere thought of having sex with him was making his cheeks flush a deep crimson.

"Ok, forget the candles. Music? I'm thinking Justin Timberlake."

"I'm thinking you need to shut up," he replies, laughing. They get in the car, Matt in the driver's seat.

"No, come on. What else does a guy have to do to woo you?" Matt pulls out of the parking lot, Elliott buckles his seat belt.

'Be Beau Bokan' he thinks, but doesn't say out loud. He misses him still, everything he sees reminding him…

"Um, give me a hundred dollars. Then you will have successfully wooed me," he replies, staring out the window. He wonders where Beau is now, what he's doing. What he could be doing if Elliott was there with him. He's probably having dinner now - wait - what time was it in California? No, it's still too early for dinner… Maybe he's playing hockey. Or riding his bike or-

"Elliott, you're not listening to me, are you?" Matt says, jogging him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, I was thinking-"

"It's okay. I was just joking around anyways."

"You know, where are we going? I'm pretty tired already, I think I want to go home."

"Are you sure? This place is really awesome, you know…"

"You're taking us to a bar, aren't you?"

Matt's expression turns to a guilty one and Elliott rolls his eyes.

"Look, I'm in no mood to drink tonight. Why don't you drive to a liquor store and buy yourself whatever you want and take us home? Or you can drop me off and you can go to the bar."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me? It's much more fun to drink with a friend."

"Yeah, I'm sure. You know I'm not a big drinker… And besides, I don't think now is a good time for me to be getting drunk."

 

Matt drops him off at the apartment and goes to the bar alone. Elliott hates that he's alone, but he still thinks it's better than him going out and drinking. He's already upset, he could end up doing something stupid like last time. 

Hell, he can't even remember last time all that well, he had gotten so wasted.

So he goes to bed early, hoping that Matt would be back soon and that he would come to bed with him again so he wasn't alone…

He's sitting at the dinner table, waiting on Lights to bring out the food. 

"Babe, is everything alright in there?" Beau calls from his left. Elliott can hear his stomach growling - they've been waiting for her for what seemed like hours.

"Um, yeah! Just, one second," she replies, a clatter of pans sounding afterwards.

"She said that thirty minutes ago," Beau moans, laying his head down on the table. 

"I think she's trying to starve us," Elliott laughs.

"Why don't you go help her?" he asks, sitting up.

"What? Why me? Why don't you go help her!"

"Because we all know I can't cook to save my life," he responds.

Okay, he had a point.

Elliott stands up and strides into the kitchen, where chaos was obviously brewing. There is a heavy burnt smell in the air, pots piled high in the sink, flour covering the floor… Lights is in the middle of it all, running back and forth between the stove and the sink. Her hair is tied back in a high pony tail and she's wearing an old, faded apron. She doesn't even notice when Elliott walks in the room, she keeps doing whatever she was trying to do.

"Need some help?" he asks. 

"Holy shit, you scared me!" she exasperates, stirring what looked like purple soup with a spoon and then tasting it. Her face contorted in a way that clearly showed that it did not taste right at all, and she put it down. "I've ruined it! All of it! I've ruined our special dinner! I'm such a failure!"

"You're not a failure," he says, walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her thin body. "It's just food… Why don't we just have sandwiches? It didn't have to be special."

"Yes, it did! It was our one month anniversary together and today - this - was supposed to be so special!"

"It is special," he says, looking over at the purple soup that was still boiling on the stove. "How are we ever going to forget the purple soup?"

She laughs and buries her head in his chest. 

"Being here with you two is special," he says, stroking her hair. She's laughing and crying into his chest and he hugs her tighter.  
"Where's the food?!" Beau yells from the other room. It sounds more like a cry, though, and Lights laughs harder.

"Grab the bread, let's make sandwiches," she tells him.

"Here you go," Elliott says, setting down a lunch meat sandwich in front of Beau. He doesn't say a word about what it is, simply starts devouring it.

Lights laughs, sitting down across from Elliott. 

Somehow, he finds himself pressed up against their bedroom door, Beau's lips on his. Teeth clatters and tongues colliding, it feels like home to him… 

Beau rocks his hips into him, letting Elliott become fully aware of how hard he is. He wants him so badly…

He wraps his arms around him, letting himself be pushed against the wall harder - once again the pain making things even more exciting. They end up on the bed, Elliott's on his stomach and Beau's fucking him from behind. Oh, how he loves this, how he loves Beau - he needs him to live. 

"Fuck, yes," Elliott moans, hands grasping at the bed sheets. Beau kisses down his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He pulls him up, holding him close to his body, still slowly fucking…

"I love you," Beau mumbles into his ear, kissing down his neck, licking every so often…

"I love-"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Elliott jolts upright in his bed. It takes him a moment become completely conscious and aware of where he actually is, but he does. He looks around the room for a source of the loud noise, but sees nothing. Throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and then he slowly making his way out of the room.

He opens the door to see a very, very drunk Matt, stumbling into the apartment. Elliott's not sure he's ever seen anyone as drunk as he is right now. His eyes are red, but it's not just from the alcohol, he's been crying. And - is that blood? Elliott rushes over to him and helps him walk to the couch.

"Matt! What happened to you?" he exclaims. Matt looks up at him and then coughs, spitting out blood as he does. Elliott rushes to the kitchen and grabs a towel, bringing it back and cleaning him up a bit. 

"Got in a fight," he slurs, wobbling a bit. 

"With who? Where are they? They didn't follow you, did they?" 

"I don't think s- so," he mumbles, his eyes drooping. He's about to pass out, so Elliott starts taking his shoes off for him. He decides that he's not going to get anything useful out of him in the state he's in, so instead he's going to make sure he can sleep it off safely. 

He sits in the living room with Matt all night long and well into the morning.

"What - why are you sitting by me?" Matt asks stupidly, waking up finally. Elliott takes another long gulp of coffee before replying.

"You came here totally wasted last night - and bloody. What happened?" he asks, handing Matt a full mug of coffee. 

"Oh, my head," he complains as he sits up straight and gratefully takes the drink. "I - don't really remember… Wait, okay, yeah I remember a little… It was two guys, calling me a faggot for some reason…"

"Why would two guys randomly come up and say that to you? You didn't…" Elliott trails, his stomach turning at the thought. Matt hadn't started hitting on some random guy at the bar, had he? 

"No, no, I don't think I did… I'm trying to remember why they were calling me that," he says, taking a drink and wincing. 

"Did you know them?"

"No," he answers quickly and confidently. "I think I remember why they were calling me that, though," he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He's silent as he looks through it and then nods. "I called him. Must have done it right in the bar…"

"Called who?"

"Jared. They must have overheard me talking to him. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was something like that."

"Why did you call Jared? What did you say?" Elliott asks, hoping to hell that Matt didn't fuck anything up. 

"I, I think I was calling to tell him I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I had gotten to thinking about it after a couple of drinks and I felt confident about it. So I called him and…"

"And?" Elliott echoes, needing to hear the rest.

"I don't remember what he said. Or if he even answered. Fuck!" he yells, immediately putting his hand on his forehead. 

Elliott wanted to bring up the fact about his dream to Matt; about how he felt but he felt that his situation wasn't as important as Matt's. He would have to think about it on his own for now, especially while Matt was coming off his hangover.

"Fuck!" Matt yells again, before getting up from the couch and running to the bathroom. He doesn't make it there, however, and ends up puking on the bedroom floor. 

"I'm sorry," he cries, holding himself stead by putting an arm on the wall. "Just, give me a minute and I can clean it up-"

"No," Elliott interrupts, rushing forward to help him walk towards the bed. "You're getting some rest."

"Elliott, I'm so fucking sorry about this," he mumbles as he lies down in the bed with his aid. 

"Don't worry about it. Do you need anything? Water?"

"No, I'm fine, I'll just, sleep some…" he says, turning over in the bed and pulling the covers over his head. 

Elliott closes the blinds to the room and cleans up the mess, leaving after he's checked on Matt one more time. He walks into the now empty living room feeling horrible. Not only has he realized that he's seriously fucked up with his decision on Beau; Matt may have also seriously fucked up his own relationship with Jared. Who knows what he could have said on the phone to him… 

Then he gets the idea to call Jared. He wouldn't bring up that he knew anything about what happened last night, he just needed to know if things were okay between them. Obviously he couldn't ask directly, but in a roundabout way maybe he could at least be put at ease.

He's not sure why their relationship matters to him so much - but he thinks it's because Matt has become such a close friend to him. Not only that, but he can see himself in Matt - he has the same situation he did several years ago. Before Beau had married Lights, everything was a different story. If he had known what he did now, if only he had realized then how much he loved him…

He wasn’t going to let this happen to Matt. 

Dialing Jared's number, he puts the phone to his ear and paces the room. Finding himself feeling a bit claustrophobic feeling, he steps outside. Once he does, Jared answers.

"Hey, Elliott! What's up? How's life back in Ohio?" he asks, always one of the nicest of the five of them when you call him. (Eric is one of the rudest - don't ask why, he just is.)

"It's okay," he says, not fully meaning it, but not wanting to talk about his issues right now. "It's just always hard coming off the tours."

"I know what you mean. Yesterday I sat and stared at a wall for a good thirty minutes because I had no idea what to do with myself. It's so weird not having that high to look forward to, you know?"

Yeah, Elliott knows. In fact, he probably knows a lot better than any of them do. The high he feels onstage is like no other, with Beau's hands all over him, his lips…

"Elliott?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I know." He watches a bird fly across the sky and land on the opposite apartment complex's rooftop. "Look, I don't know if you knew this or not, but Matt came to stay with me for a couple of days," he says, cutting to the point of the call. 

"What? No, I didn't know he came to stay with you," he says, pausing briefly. "Is he okay? I mean, I think he was drinking pretty heavily last night. I hate when he does that…"

"Not exactly - he showed up at my apartment last night bloody and wasted as shit. I tried to ask him what happened, but all I got out of him is that he got into a fight."  
"A fight?" Jared exclaims, sounding more worried than ever. "Is he okay now? Did he break any bones-"

"Calm down, he's fine. He's sleeping it off in my room right now. I just wondered if you knew anything about what happened because he said something about calling you at the bar," he says, biting his lip and hoping that Jared would let him know what he said, and that it wasn't anything bad…

"Well, uh, you know," he stutters, sounding - embarrassed, almost? Elliott couldn't pinpoint exactly how he sounded.

"No, I don't know. Enlighten me," he laughs.

"You know how Matt is when he's drinking," he says, pausing again. Elliott doesn't interrupt this time, but waits for him to continue. "Really, um, horny?"

Elliott laughs so hard he has to move the phone away from his mouth for a moment.

"Is he? I never actually noticed."

"Never noticed?!" he practically yells. "How could you… Never mind. Point is he was and he was telling me…"

The pauses were really starting to annoy Elliott now, he was dying to know what happened.

"Was telling you what?"

"Things he wanted to do to me and with me, okay? And I was like, Matt, you're drunk call me later, and then, promise you won't tell anyone about this, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, promise," Elliott says quickly.

"He said he's sure he's ready to be with me. Like, seriously. In a serious relationship thing. At least that's how he put it when he was drinking. And then he said something about being sorry that he was ever embarrassed about him and I, and then hung up."

"Really?"  
"Yeah," Jared sighs. "If only he could say it sober, then I'd be a happy guy. I mean, he's never said that kind of thing even when drunk, but still, I know how it is. I know better than to get my hopes up, that's for sure."

"You never know, it's probably a good sign that he finally told you."

"Wait, do you know something I don't about how he feels about me?" he asks. Elliott freezes at the question, wondering if he should say anything - and decides he shouldn't. After all, Matt wouldn't tell anyone about the things he has told him, and probably wants to be the one to tell Jared himself how he feels. It's not his place to be cupid, and he thinks it would be a bad idea to even try.

"No, no idea, you know how Matt is - won't say a word to anyone about things like that," he lies, feeling slightly guilty about doing so to Jared, but knowing it was the right thing to do. If Matt does feel that way about him, he'll make the move and let him know.

"Yeah," he replies, clearly believing the lie. "Hey, listen, I'm going to go for a run at the gym, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Sounds good, I could use a workout too," he replies, walking back inside.

"Let me know how Matt's doing. Maybe tell him to give me a call once he feels better…"

"I will."

 

Matt wakes up several hours later, stumbling into the living room.

"I still feel like shit," he mumbles, plopping himself down onto the couch miserably. Elliott's in the kitchen cooking dinner, stirring the noodles so that they don't stick to the bottom of the pan. He turns the heat down and walks over towards Matt. 

"Want anything to eat?"

"Eh, what are you making?"

"Vegan spaghetti," he replies, proudly. It's one of the few dishes that he can make that always comes out perfectly.

Matt makes a noise somewhere in between a grunt and a huff. 

"I'll pass," he replies, throwing his head back on the couch.

"You'd feel better if you ate something," Elliott says, knowing all too well how Matt's feeling. Nothing could make him forget the hangover he had after his twenty-first birthday. It sounds stupid, but that's really what makes him not want to drink much anymore. 

"Yeah, I'm sure I would, but I'm afraid if I ate that I might throw up again," he whines. Okay, now he's just being picky.

"Look, I'll order you a pizza, if you want," he offers, even though his feelings are slightly hurt that he won't even try his dish, but he guesses it's nothing personal - the word 'vegan' makes a lot of people cringe. He's not sure why, but whatever. 

"Yes, please," he says, enthusiastically. 

"So, now that I've recovered," Matt says after finishing his fifth piece of Domino's Pizza (Elliott can barely stand the smell of the meat, it's making him want to puke), "How are you?"  
"How am I?" Elliott echoes, looking at the bruises on Matt's face and arms. "I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about. Have you looked in the mirror?"

"I know, but they look worse than they feel, trust me," he says, reaching for another piece of pizza. "They'll be gone in a couple of days."

"Oh, Jared wants you to call him, by the way," Elliott says absentmindedly, standing up and taking his empty dish to the sink.

Matt nearly chokes on the bite he's just taken.  
"What?" he exclaims after swallowing thickly. "He what? Have you talked to him? What did he say? You didn't tell him that-"

"Calm down," he says as he puts dirty dishes into the dishwasher. "I didn't say anything. I just called him to let him know you were okay and shit. He just said he wants you to call him after you feel better. He's worried about you."

"Worried? Fuck, so I guess I didn't say anything too bad to him the other night, then."

"No, just that you were ready for a serious relationship with him…" He wipes his hands on a dish towel as he watches Matt jump up from the couch.

"WHAT? I TOLD HIM THAT? FUCK! I WANTED IT TO BE SPECIAL - A SURPRISE, EVEN! FUCKING HELL, FUCKING HELL!" he yells, desperately searching around the room for something. 

"What are you looking for-"

"Found it," he replies, hands shaking as he fumbles with his phone. Elliott wonders if he should leave the room; give Matt some space, but before he has to make that decision, Matt walks outside. He can still hear bits and pieces of their conversation, but doesn't want to be a snoop, so he makes his way to the shower to get cleaned off and ready for bed.

 

He's in the middle of a shower when he starts thinking about Beau again. This time the thoughts are almost purely sexual, and he can't stop thinking them. It's been days since he's gotten off, and after getting used to having sex at least once a day for almost three months, the sexual frustration is finally starting to catch up with him. In fact, it's like all three days of sexual feelings all come back at once - he's so turned on and he has no idea when Matt is going to need to talk to him. He bites his lip - willing the thoughts to go away. The memories - of all the times Beau fucked him on the bus, in the back room, when he tied him down -

"Fuck!" he exclaims, turning the water to cold, hoping that it might turn him off enough to where he could just let it go.

Nope, it only made him even more angry with himself.  
He jumps out of the shower (nearly falling on his face in the process, but he makes a swift recovery), and dries off. He slides his clothes on quickly, but they weren't on long - he locks the door to his bedroom and lies down on his bed, shoving his boxers down and giving himself the pleasure he needed…

Eyes closed, he's imagining himself leaning his elbows on the bathroom counter, back arched for Beau. 

"Fuck," he mumbles underneath his breath, stroking his cock a bit faster, pre-cum making his hand slide so good on himself.

Beau's pulling his hair back, fucking him hard. He's moaning aloud, but he's told to be quiet. It's a warning at first, but Elliott only gets louder, and then Beau's hand is covering his mouth. He fucks him harder, deeper, almost too deep, fuck, it hurts, but Beau's taking what he wants from him. He hits the nerves and Elliott screams into his palm, his orgasm building up and begging to release. Beau bites his neck harshly, whispering how he wants to leave so many marks all over his body - to let everyone know he was his…

"Oh, fuck, Beau, fuck," he moans, cumming hard across his chest. He strokes his cock until he's fully rode out the orgasm and lies there, chest heaving hard, staring at the ceiling. The sun's setting now, casting a orangey glow on everything in the room. It's been a while since he's gotten off alone - and it just doesn't feel the same. It's not as intimate or as satisfying, in fact, it makes him feel slightly worse, at least emotionally. It seems to only uncover even deeper pain that he has about missing him, though.

"I wish I was with you," he says out loud in the silence. He's not sure why he does, but it's slightly comforting to do it. It's not comforting to hear no one respond, though. He even considers calling him right now, but realizes it would be stupid. Besides, he's probably too busy with Lights to talk to him. He's probably already forgotten about him and gotten on with life, living it like usual, without him…

 

He wipes himself off and puts his clothes back on, exiting his bedroom to find that Matt isn't inside. He cautiously opens the balcony door to find him leaning on the railing, looking down at the city below.

"Matt?" he asks, carefully. 

"I did it. I'm officially with him," he says, barely loud enough for Elliott to even hear. He sounds upset, like he regrets it.

"Why aren't you happy, then?"

"I don't know. I think I'm having trouble letting it sink in or something."

"He's yours now, Matt," he says, leaning on the railing beside him. "Your boyfriend! Come on, you've got to be happy! Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks about it, right? Besides, I'm the only one that knows and you can keep it that way if you want!"

"Yeah, you're right," he replies, straightening up. "Who cares. He is mine now. Every bit of that idiot is mine."

"Well, you don't own him," Elliott laughs.

"Not technically," he says, and then they're both laughing together. 

"He's good looking," Elliott says, honestly.

"I know. I'm really lucky…"

"How did he react?"

"He screamed like a girl, and then started crying," he says, proudly.

"No! Really? I don't think I've ever heard Jared cry before!"

"They were happy tears, mind you. I'm flying out to his place tomorrow - I've already booked the flight."

"What?" Elliott says, before the words can fully sink in. He's going to be alone in his place again. It shouldn't be a problem though, right? He can do it, do this, without Matt. It's not like he needs him there to hold his hand or anything - he's twenty-five for Christ's sake. 

Right?

"Oh, okay, right. Does he know you're coming?" Elliott asks, his feelings practically numb. There's a steady ringing in his ears too, and he's wondering if he's going to be sick. 

"No! I'm going to surprise him. Fuck, I need to figure out what I'm going to wear…" he says as he makes his way back inside the apartment. Elliott stands frozen to his spot for a moment, unable to figure out what to do. Matt's too busy with getting his things together to notice his mood change, though. Matt's too busy to notice a thing, in fact. His mind is on Jared, and Elliott doesn't blame him. 

It's just the fact that he has to deal with his problems on his own that's scary. 

He lies beside Matt, listening to him snore softly before he drifts off to what he knew would be an unpleasant sleep…

 

It's cold. Elliott is sitting beside Beau underneath the starry sky, Beau's arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He has one of Beau's old shirts on - it's too big on him but he likes wearing it at night. 

"Any second now," Beau says, staring upwards at the thousands of white dots littering the pitch black background. Elliott looks too, waiting, watching for it. Any moment it had to appear…

"Come on…" Elliott says to the sky. He's never seen one, and he wants to see it right now on this perfect night. Lights is already asleep inside the house, on the account of it was too cold and she was too tired to stay up to see them again. She's already seen them with Beau, it's not the same for her. She's had many a night just like this; it's Elliott's turn for one.

"Any minute now, you'll see," Beau says, leaning his head against his, still looking up.

And then he sees it, a fast moving star across the sky, ending in a burst of gold sparks and disappearing as fast as it had come.

"There! I saw it, did you see it, babe?" Beau asks, kissing his cheek. 

"Yeah! It was even prettier than I thought it would be!" he exclaims, scooting closer to Beau on the bench. 

"Did you make a wish?" he asks him.

"Why would I need to do that? I have nothing to wish for - I have everything I could possibly want here with you."

They share a warm kiss underneath the stars, Beau's hand cupping his cheek and-

 

"Elliott? Elliott, I'm leaving for my flight. I'm just letting you know and saying goodbye, wait, why are you getting up - you don't have to-" Matt says, waking him up, but he interrupts him.

"I'm flying too," he says, not needing any time to think about it anymore. This was the last time he would be waking up with this aching guilt in the back of his mind - the pain was unbearable. He'd rather know he tried than ever feel like this again. The dreams were nightmares to him - reminders of what he could be experiencing but isn't on account of a stupid mistake on his part.

He's done feeling like this. 

"What? I didn't buy a ticket for you too, dude, this is just a Jared and I thing-"  
"I'm not going with you," he says, rolling his eyes as he hops out of the bed. "I'm going to Beau's."

Matt looks as shocked as ever. 

"What? You're what - have you talked to him?" he exclaims, rushing to get clothed while Elliott does the same.

"No, but I don't need to. You don't understand what it's like, Matt, having these nightmares every fucking night. It's like torture. I'm constantly reminded of him and-"

"Are you sure you're making the right decision? I mean, I don't want you to be upset, I only want whatever makes you happy."

Elliott stands up straight and looks Matt dead in the eyes to answer him; he knows he can say this truthfully:

"Beau is what makes me happy."

"Okay, as long as you're sure. So, you need a flight to Cali, right?"

 

It takes him longer than he had anticipated to get his things together. He was planning on living with them, after all, so he had to grab everything he could other than the furniture. If everything went as planned, he would have to come back to his place and get the furniture out somehow, but he needs to find out for sure if he's able to stay at Beau's place before he makes any kind of permanent decision. Matt helps him stuff his things in his car (which he's also going to have to figure out what to do with), and then they drive to the Ohio airport.

They walk inside and Matt has to help Elliott carry in all of his luggage.

"I think it's pretty much impossible for him to say no to you when you've brought all of your shit," Matt laughs, clearly struggling underneath the box of video games he was carrying. 

"I hope so," he replies, not feeling as confident as Matt. His mind was starting to make up the worst possible scenarios… What if Beau yelled at him to get out? Told him to never come back? What if Lights is the one to say no and Beau had no choice to agree? What if they're not even home when he gets there? What if-

"Dude, are you listening to me?" Matt asks him. 

"Yeah, sorry, just worried. What did you say?"

"I said, I'm getting on my flight. Yours leaves an hour after mine, so…" he trails, standing there awkwardly. Elliott's stomach sinks through the floor as the reality sets in that he has to say goodbye to his friend; the person that stayed by his side when he needed it most.

"Thank you so much for everything," Elliott says, rushing forward and embracing Matt in a tight hug. Matt is still for a moment and then hugs him back, just as tightly.

"Anytime. That's what friends do, man," he says as they separate. "And as far as I'm concerned, I wouldn't even have a boyfriend now if it wasn't for you. So, thanks for that."

"Yeah, don't mention it," he smiles.

"Good luck with Beau! Call me whenever and let me know how everything goes!" he calls, rushing towards his plane.

"Thanks, I will!" he shouts back before collapsing in an armchair to wait for his own flight to depart…

***

As he's flying to California, he tries to remember the last time he was even at Beau's house. It must have been ages, because he can't even remember what it looks like. He has the address stored in his phone, though, so it's all okay. He's all set up to go.

The anxiety doesn't fully hit until he drives up to the front of the house. It's two story, the front yard looked like they worked on it constantly; grass neatly trimmed as well as the bushes. The walkway leading up to the double oak front doors was a mixture of pale colored stones, sided with small flowering bushes of different colors (orange, red, and yellow).

The sun is setting and casting a orangey glow on everything, and it made the house look almost unreal in how perfect it looked.

He sits in the rental car for a minute, staring at his hands as they gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He considers driving away, abandoning the idea at the last second and flying home, but he's come too far. He has a single flashback of him and Beau on Warped Tour (one where they're laughing and then end up kissing) and it makes him get out of the car and start up the walk to the doors.

Heart pounding and begging to explode out of his chest, he softly knocks on the door, deliberately too quietly for anyone to hear. It was a test for himself, making just to break the beginning nervousness he was feeling. He stands there for a moment, and then he hears the sounds inside of dishes clattering. They're there, and at any moment, he was going to be facing one of them. If only he could get himself to ring the bell…

He does it quickly, and inside he hears the dishes stop clattering and Lights start to shout:

"Honey, can you get that? My hands are covered in bubbles!"

"Who would be at the door at this time?" he hears Beau's voice call back. His heart skips at beat at the sound; it feels like it's been forever since he's heard it. Fuck, it feels like it's been years since he's even seen Beau's face. He considers running away as he hears the approaching footsteps, but something inside of him root his feet to the ground, keeping him there, making him stay and face the music.

"Might be some kids wanting to sell something," she guesses.

The footsteps are getting closer now, he can hear them echoing off the walls… 

He closes his eyes and takes a slow, deep breath, and that's when he realizes he hasn't even figured out what he's going to say. Fuck, fuck, fuck…

The sound of him walking stops, and the door opens.

Beau stands there in complete shock, staring as though he's just seen a ghost (he even goes a bit pale). Elliott struggles to find the words inside of him; trying to figure out how to even speak. Beau's wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, his hair pulled back in one of those ridiculous man-buns (that Elliott teases him endlessly for). He's not dressed up in any sense, but Elliott could swear he's never looked more beautiful to him than he does in this moment.

"Elliott?" he finally says, breaking the silence between them. Beau looks as if he doesn't believe what he's seeing, as if he thinks he's imagining it. This has to be a good sign; the fact he hasn't yelled at him yet; or told him to fuck off…

"Yeah," is all Elliott can find within himself to say. He wonders if it's obvious - if the reason he's there is a given, or if he has to explain what he came to ask for. But before he can think about it any longer, Beau's arms are around him, holding him tight. He starts crying despite himself, he missed his warmth, his touch, so badly. This is all he ever wants, is to with him, held by him…

"Are you here to stay?" Beau whispers, as he steps back. 

Elliott simply nods, because that's all he can do right now. His legs are shaking and he's silently crying; he still doesn't know if the answer is yes or no, and the shock of having Beau on him the instant he sees him is still coursing through his body.

"Thank God! Lights, baby! You'll never believe who's here!" He yells, going to Elliott again, but this time kissing him. He almost falls over with the force that he comes at him, steadying himself at the last moment. After the kiss, He picks him up bridal style (with complete ease) and starts carrying him into the house.  
"Whoa!" he exclaims, a smile coming over his lips and wrapping his arms around Beau's neck.

Beau carries him all the way to the kitchen (the house is huge; he has to pass through four rooms to get there, each one more interesting than the previous).

"Who?" she asks, turning around from the sink where she was washing dishes. "Oh my God, Elliott!" she screams, grabbing a dish towel and drying her hands quickly. Beau sets him down on his feet and he's met with the usual surprisingly strong hug that she always gives him, and a kiss on the cheek. "You came! I can't believe you actually came! You're staying, right?" 

"Yeah, of course I am," he says, and he's met with Beau's lips on his - and he finally feels like he's at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next month is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I compete in it every year (since last year LOL) but yeah, I'm going to do it again (this time with Belliott YAY!!!), but that means I won't have time for ANY other stories. So, I decided to get my ass in gear and finish this story (it's novel length now OMG XD) and post it for you guys un-edited and yeah... There isn't much story wise I would like to change; just grammar use. I realize there was little hint of Jared and Matt's relationship in the other chapters - but they really only focused on Elliott and Beau and that's it. There was little diversion from that plot, but in this chapter Elliott had to find comfort in someone else and Matt and his relationship kind of developed into a stronger friendship than before; therefore he learned more about his life. Anyways; there will be an epilogue (which I am about to work on now) so stay tuned for that! I will have it posted before the end of this month as well.


	10. Hey Baby, Here's That Song You Wanted {Epilogue}

It takes a couple of weeks before Elliott is completely settled in. It's odd at first, choosing spots for his things and deciding on where to sleep. He insists that he would be okay in the guest room, but Beau and Lights both were against the idea - they wanted him in the bedroom just like they were. They were 'family' (that's what they called it and it was starting to actually feel like it now). He sleeps on Beau's left and Lights was on his other side. Every night though, Beau slept with his arm around him and not her - Elliott had no complaints about that. 

They have the rest of his things delivered from his apartment (the furniture and anything else that was way too big to fit into his car), his car back in Ohio sold, and he stops renting the apartment. He didn't realize how much money it would save him too, and he's grateful for that because he was always having to skimp on things in his previous financial situation. But now that they all live together - the three of their incomes was more than enough to sustain them. 

He still feels weird, though. But every time Beau comes up behind him while he's brushing his teeth or washing the dishes in the sink, he's reminded of why he did this. Why he flew all the way here and abandoned the life he had - he fell in love. 

Lights is quickly becoming an amazing friend, too, and he's ashamed of himself for ever having hateful feelings towards her. He's not attracted to girls whatsoever, but he can see why Beau likes her. She's funny and sweet, and beautiful in more than one way. There are a lot of times where he finds himself alone with her, and he enjoys her company a lot more than he would've ever imagined. She's a very touchy person (she hugs him at least once a day), which he has to get used to, but he's beginning to like it. He's never liked being alone, and in this house he practically is never without one of them.

And he's definitely never bored there, either. Turns out, they work on their house a lot - and are still decorating and trying to decide what to do with a lot of the rooms. When he had arrived there, they were busy painting the dining room a dark purple color, which he helped finish. Lights had found it amusing to throw paint on him, though, and she had ended up chasing him throughout the house, purple paint flying everywhere. Beau had come down from upstairs (he spent a lot of time up there - Elliott still has no idea what he does all of the time but he's hoping he knows soon because he's curious), and wasn't pleased at all to see the paint scattered along the walls in the other rooms as well. As he was yelling at Lights, though, (somehow he had known that she had done it and not Elliott - maybe it was because of the paint can in her hand?), he had come up and kissed him, and Beau seemed to forget why he was angry quickly.

Lights had later thanked Elliott for distracting him, and he had responded telling her that he had no problem doing it, laughing afterwards. (The kissing had led to sex in the bedroom, but he didn't tell her that part.)

Matt calls him the day after he gets there to tell him how happy he was; and that Jared had welcomed him at his house with open arms. He said he was going to stay for the week and then fly to his house. When he finally finished telling Elliott even the unnecessary details of what all he and Jared had done so far (Elliott so didn't need to hear about how he had gotten a blowjob merely minutes after he had showed up, but apparently Matt thought otherwise), he told him about how he was welcomed with open arms.

"So, you're sleeping with Lights too? Do you have sex with her too - or how does that work? How-"

"Is sex all you really think about?" Elliott interrupts, laughing.   
"What? No! I'm just curious. And maybe a little more horny than usual because I'm around Jared… Fuck, where is he? I thought he was watching TV in here…"

"You're nearly always around Jared, dude," he points out, rolling his eyes. 

"Okay, I think about sex a lot, I'm sorry," he says absentmindedly. 

"I'm just messing with you… Anyways, no, I don't have sex with her if you really wondered."

"WHY, THOUGH? SHE'S HOT AS HELL AND DUDE SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? I MEAN, WHY NOT? SHE COULD-"

"Stop right there," he says, before Matt can get into any detail of what sexual things he and a girl could do. The thought alone repulses him. "I'm gay as hell and not interested."

"Okay, well, suit yourself… A blowjob is still gonna feel like a blowjob-"

"MATT!"

"Okay, okay, sorry… I was just saying."

"Yeah, well you can stop saying and shut your mouth about it."

"Listen, I'm going to let you go, I can't find Jared - Oh! There he is. Anyways, talk to you later, I want some afternoon sex…"

"Jesus, Matt. Don't fuck yourself to death, okay?"

"WHAT A WAY TO DIE!" he exclaims before hanging up. Sometimes, Elliott really wonders if Matt was completely sane.

 

He's actually upset when Beau reminds him that they leave for tour in a week from today. Never in his life had he felt like he'd rather stay at home than tour - he knows that once he does go he'll have fun, but still.

"I completely forgot about it," he says, pushing the remains of his dinner around on his plate with his fork. He seems to have suddenly lost his appetite…

"Aren't you excited?" Lights exclaims through a mouthful of food. She swallows and then continues. "You get to play more of the new album!"

"Yeah, I'm excited, it's just… I'll miss you. And this place - I don’t know, it sucks leaving."

"You won't miss out on anything, trust me. Me and Stanley are very boring," she responds, handing the mentioned cat a piece of bread from her plate. 

Stanley was the cat that Beau and Lights. He was actually Lights' pet, but when they had moved in together, he had come with her. When Elliott had first seen him walk in the room, he thought that he was a dog hybrid of some sort and screamed. Stanley was no ordinary cat - he was about the size of four cats put together. He weighed more than fifteen pounds, and acted a lot more like a dog than any cat he's ever seen. Well, in some ways he did. He comes up around the dinner table every night while they're eating, begging for their food by rubbing all over their legs. Elliott finds it annoying when he's wearing shorts because his fur fucking tickles, but Beau always found it quite amusing to see him squirm when he's rubbing his fuzzy tail all between his legs. He likes him, though, and he knows he's going to miss him too.

"No, you're not," he responds, actually giving the cat some of his dinner when he begs this time. He can hear him purr in response as he makes his way over towards Beau.

"Nope! Too late, I've already finished, see?" Beau exclaims, showing his empty plate to the cat. Stanley gives him a look and then circles back around to Lights, begging her instead.

"You just shoved the rest in your mouth before he walked over," Elliott says, laughing.   
"Don't lie, you've done it too - I've seen you!"

"Okay, okay. Point is, it's going to be hard leaving for this tour."

"Oh, come on, you know you're going to have a lot of fun… You have Beau all to yourself!"

"Yeah, aren't I enough?" he teases, kicking him under the table.

"Ow! Yes, I just, I'll miss it, okay?"

"I'll be right here when you get back. You can always call me, too, you know… Skype is your friend."

"I forgot about that! I'll call every night," he says, feeling a little more at ease knowing he can at least still see her while he's gone.

 

"Another reason to like being at home is all the space," Beau tells him as they lay down together that night. Lights is still awake and working on writing an album, so she's downstairs in the music room recording. Elliott likes these times though, when it's just him and Beau lying together; he wouldn't trade them for anything.

"Yeah, it gets fucking crowded on that bus," he agrees, turning the page in the comic book he was reading. Beau scoots closer to him and leans his head on his shoulder; looking at the book with him.

"What anime is this?" he asks him, his hand traveling down Elliott's chest and edging dangerously close to his crotch. Elliott's breath catches, and he struggles to find the words to answer him as he starts touching his cock through the thin boxers…

"Which one do you think?" he answers sarcastically. He annoys him sometimes when he asks the most obvious questions, and seemingly his favorite time to do that is right before they have sex. Maybe he does it to get Elliott riled up; hell, he's never thought about it before. It would make sense…

"Damn, snappy with me already? I was just trying to make conversation," he says, no anger at all in his words. He keeps massaging his crotch. Elliott's quickly becoming hard, making it harder and harder to concentrate on the book in front of him.

"I know, it's fine," he replies, leaning over to his nightstand and setting the book down, along with his glasses-

"Wait, keep them on," Beau tells him. Elliott turns around and gives him a look.  
"What? Why?"

"We've never done it with you wearing them," he points out, sitting up against the headboard, as if expecting Elliott to do something…

"There is a reason for that," Elliott laughs, leaving his glasses on the table and crawling down in between Beau's legs.

"Please?" he asks, giving him that wide-eyed look that is so fucking hard to resist. He thinks about it for a second, and then reaches over for them.  
"Only if you promise to be careful and not break them. These are expensive as fuck and I won't be able to get the exact frames again," he says, putting them back on and looking at Beau again.

The look on his face is worth putting them back on - he can tell he's lustful for him now, and when Elliott's eyes divert to Beau's crotch he can clearly see the outline of his cock. He wastes no time in situating himself again in between Beau's legs, his hands reaching for the waistband of his boxers and tugging them down.

"Pro- promise," he stutters in response, apparently extremely excited for what was about to happen.

"Okay," he says, freeing Beau's hard cock and wrapping a hand around it. Beau moans silently when he does, and it only makes him want to do more. To make him feel so good, to make him cum. He leans down, wrapping his lips around the head…  
"Fuck," Beau mumbles, hips jerking forward and forcing his cock further down Elliott's throat. He doesn't move back, instead taking more in, taking him deeper than he ever has before. He feels his hand on the back of his head; Beau's pushing him down softly, raking his fingers through his side fringe…

Elliott pulls off of him, his tongue sliding down the shaft and then back up again, over the slit and then kissing the head again. Beau's leaking pre-cum now, and he uses his hand to completely soak his cock, making it slide easier. 

"You look so good in those, fuck, and doing this… Suck me down again, Elliott, please," he begs, and Elliott doesn't hesitate - his mouth is back on his cock, tasting him, tongue along the underside, taking him deep…

"Jesus Christ," he moans, threading his fingers through his hair again, pulling hard. He must know that he has a thing for pain, because he keeps doing it and it's making Elliott even hornier than he already is. He's subtly rocking his hips into the mattress now, getting what pressure he could on his own cock while he sucked on Beau's.

Elliott moans around his length, pressing himself especially hard into the bed. He forces his eyes open and looks up at Beau, who's struggling to keep his open too. He puts a hand around the base, stroking what he couldn't take down his throat of Beau's cock, wanting him to cum in his mouth… 

He pulls off, still stroking Beau's cock and makes eye contact with him while he talks;

"Cum in my mouth, baby, I'll swallow you down," he purrs.

"No, I have other plans," Beau replies, shocking the hell out of him. What 'other plans' could he possibly have? Did he want to fuck or? He pulls Elliott face towards his cock, his hand taking over on stroking himself, and that's when it clicks in Elliott's mind what he wants to do.

"Hey, I know what you're trying to do," Elliott says, sitting up and taking off his glasses. "You are not cumming on these."

"Put them back on," he commands, glaring at him. Elliott's heart skips a beat at the demand; he loves it when Beau is like this. He knows it wouldn't be that big of a deal to clean them off, and he sees this as a golden opportunity to fight with him and then be punished…  
He's going to take the chance and make this a little more interesting.

"No," he states, setting them on the bedside table. Before he can even turn back, Beau is yanking his hair and pulls him back down to his cock, forcing him so far down he gags.

"You'll do what I tell you to," he growls. Elliott's eyes are watering as he comes up, coughing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he sits up. Beau hands him back the glasses and Elliott glares at him, holding them in his hands and not putting them on.

"Do it, or I won't your pretty cock cum tonight," Beau warns, reaching forward and grabbing his erection through his boxers, sending a wave of pleasure throughout his body. The mere thought of not being able to get off was enough to make him obey, and he gets down again, ready to suck him off. Beau holds him back, though, insisting that he stroke himself. Elliott opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out and awaiting his cum. The underside of Beau's cock hitting his lips is turning him on more than he ever thought it would… He looks up at him, giving him that 'oh so innocent' look that he loves…

"Give it to me," he tells him, and that's it - Beau cums on his face, getting plenty on his glasses and in his mouth, moaning his name the whole time. Elliott's so turned on as he does, it sends him over the edge too, and he instantly puts a hand over himself pressing onto the fabric giving himself some touch as he finishes too…

"Beau, fuck," he moans, hand moving on top of the boxers slowly.

"Looks like I'm not the only one that likes that …" he teases. Just as Elliott is about to get up and off the bed to clean up and also argue with Beau about how he doesn't like it (he so does, he didn't expect to actually like getting his glasses covered but oh my God, he does), a door opens and Lights is waltzing in a moment later, Stanley on her tail.  
"I finally finished a song! I think it's official - that huge writer's block I had is…" she trails, eyes landing on Elliott and Beau. 

It must be quite a scene for her, Elliott thinks. He's still in between Beau's legs, face covered, Beau is still half naked, fuck, Elliott's turning redder by the second. He'd like to disappear in this moment, he closes his eyes and wishes he would…

"I'm - sorry?" she laughs. "Is this a bad time? Should I come back later or-?"

"We're uh, done," Beau says, looking towards Elliott. "You just missed it," he laughs.

Elliott nearly trips over to himself making his way to the bathroom, not looking at her at all as he walks (more like runs) by. He washes up as quickly as possible, and then stands there, staring at himself in the mirror. He wonders if he'd rather sleep in there tonight, maybe then he wouldn't feel as embarrassed. He's not sure why he feels like this; but no one has ever caught him and Beau in such an intimate moment before. The more he thinks about it, the more he's surprised it's the first time they've been caught. 

He tells himself he's going to have to get used to her walking in on it, though. After all, she is Beau's wife, how could he expect her not to? And besides, he also knows that she doesn't have any problem at all with it, so why should it even bother him?

Putting his newly cleaned glasses down on the counter, he walks back out into the bedroom.

"MOVE OVER!" Beau shouts at Stanley, who's currently halfway trying to sit on his face. Lights tries to stifle a laugh, but it doesn't work, and she's fucking losing it watching the cat torture him. Stanley ignores his request, and promptly puts his bottom right beside his head and sits, now staring at Elliott. He darts off the bed and walks over to him, rubbing himself all on his legs.

"Hi, Stanley," he says, still not completely over the shock of being caught - still in a daze of embarrassment.

"Good, he can go over to you all he wants. Fuck, that cat knows how to push my buttons," he complains, situating himself comfortably on the bed. Lights crawls in beside him, now wearing a short black nightgown, outlined with lace.

"He just likes you," Elliott points out, hesitantly getting in bed. He's thankful he's not beside Lights, that would increase his discomfort by more than a thousand percent, he thinks. He reaches over and turns off the only light in the room, and now the three of them are laying in darkness. 

"Elliott, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you when I walked in," Lights says, voice full of sincere sympathy. "I can tell you're upset. I'll knock next time, I promise-"

"No, it's fine," he replies, feeling guilty already for being such an idiot. 

"If it makes you feel any better, I thought you looked cute."

"Cute? I was a mess!" he exclaims.

"Yeah! It was a cute mess! So, how'd he convince you to keep the glasses on? It took him ages to get me to do it. To be honest, I was just holding out to be a bitch," she laughs, and Elliott laughs too.  
"Hey! That's not nice," Beau says.

"It was fun! So, he had to bribe you pretty good to get you to keep your prescription glasses on, didn't he? Ugh, the dominate ones always get the easy jobs. Oh yeah, just cum on my face, that's great. Yeah, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP, IT IS!" 

Elliott starts laughing so hard he's crying. 

"Beau is always wanting to do shit like that, too. Do you know how many times he's cum on me in my bunk? It's so fucking hard to clean that up and then-"

"Can we talk about something else, please?" Beau asks, causing the two of them to both laugh even harder. 

"Why? We're just talking about sex!" she replies.

"More like ranting about me," he grunts.

"We're just teasing… You know I like it, come on," he consoles, turning over and wrapping an arm around Beau's waist. He kisses the side of his neck, and he can feel how tense Beau is underneath his lips… He kisses again and it seems to help ease him.

"Okay, maybe I'm just overthinking it," he replies. Lights laughs again. "STOP LAUGHING!"

Elliott has to bite his tongue so hard that it hurts; he's trying not to laugh but it's so hard when he's hearing her laugh too.

Stanley jumps on the bed then, and crawls up in between Beau and Elliott. 

"YOU CHOSE THE WRONG TIME TO GET IN BETWEEN ELLIOTT AND I!" he shouts, grabbing the cat and moving him to Lights. "You take him and keep him there!"

"Okay, well, Stanley and I can cuddle. I'm okay with that, aren't you, Stanley? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

Beau groans aloud. Elliott wraps his arm around him tighter, and knows there's no place he'd rather be than right here, with his family. Maybe it's a little different than most, but sometimes different can be a good thing. The only thing that's really important is love, fuck what anyone else says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It makes me so sad to end this - I can still remember the day I had the idea for the story :')  
> Thanks to everyone that read this (and that reads it in the future). I love you all! <3


End file.
